Mrs Cullen and the Chicago Outfit
by EricTheNorthman
Summary: Bella finds herself in trouble with the mob, Rose helps set Bella on a path that promises to fix her problems yet could be more destructive emotionally than she ever imagined. We have Bella, the mob, Vegas, an unsuspecting Edward and a shotgun wedding! AH
1. Ch 1 An unsuspecting Edward

**A/N: Yes I know I have some nerve, a new story when I've yet to go back to my others. I am currently working on a couple of chapters for OUAONS though, for those of you that were reading it. I'm off work for a bit so I have nothing but time to catch up on things.**

**Bella POV**

**Name: Isabella Marie Swan**

**Occupation: Student**

**Aim: To become Mrs. Edward Cullen**

I truly hate myself. I Isabella Marie Swan, truly fucking hate myself for what I am very much hoping to succeed in pulling off this weekend. If my parents were alive today (god bless their hearts) they would be so disappointed in me, well my mother surely would.

My father on the other hand is a different story all together, he would be filled with a mixture of emotions. Shame, guilt, fear and yet still feel a sense of disappointment in me. One might ask why my father would shoulder some of the guilt and shame, and I would have to say that it is because he is 100% to blame for my predicament.

You see my father was the Police Commissioner of Chicago, and that certainly sounds like a real stand up career to have. The only problem with that would be that he had let himself fall into business with the wrong people, and by the wrong people I mean members of the mafia family known as The Chicago Outfit.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that my father was in anyone's pocket because that was not the case. My father's problem is mainly gambling, but he also has an issue with drinking which causes further problems with his gambling addiction. The more he drinks, the stupider his decisions become and it just continued to escalate until my parents death.

It wasn't until just over a month ago when I received a visit from John DiFronzo himself, and if you even have to ask who that is then you are very obviously not at all familiar with The Mafia and are most definitely not from the Chicago area. He is 'The Boss' himself of The Chicago Outfit. Needless to say, I was scared to death when he showed up at my door with two of his henchmen.

It turns out that he and my father grew up together, although my grandparents removed my dad from the 'area' just shortly after his 12th birthday when he started getting into trouble with all the neighbourhood boys. Somehow they had gotten back in touch and since they were best friends as kids Mr. DiFronzo had taken to fronting my dad large sums of money to cover his addiction and usually he was able to cover it after a while.

My parents just passed away two months ago in a plane crash returning from a Vegas Vacation and it turns out my father had borrowed another million on top of the half a million he owed Mr. DiFronzo previously. It also turns out that Mr DiFronzo does not consider my father's debt nil and void even after his death.

I was given three options as his sole surviving relative 1) I can come up with the 1.5 million he is owed or 2) He will make me work to cover the funds owed and it was made clear in no uncertain terms that this work would involve being rented out to his associates. Yeah, I completely understood. Prostitution, and it was also made clear that not all his associates knew how to treat a lady. Number 3) Was I could feel free to refuse him and I would 'disappear' again I understood the picture being painted. I refuse, I die.

I tried to be strong, to be appear calm and level headed while I bargained for my own life. It paid off a little, he said he had to respect a young woman of 22 years that would step up and be willing to try and pay my father's debt. It bought me six months, although the look on their faces as they left my apartment told me that they firmly believe I will not come up with the money and they fully expect to be whoring me out or putting a bullet in my skull.

I spent the first week being so angry, scared and frustrated that I never left my bed. I slept, I cried then slept and cried. I had hated my father for putting me in this position, especially since he had made a promise to my mom that those days were over.

At the start of the second week my best friend Rose had come over to drag my ass out of bed and begged me to tell her what was wrong once she seen how truly frightened I actually was, I finally caved and explained it all to her. We're more like sisters and the only family we each have left, so we spent the three days racking our brains trying to come up with something that didn't include selling my body or dying.

She said it would kill her to know that I might be forced to do something I have never done before, have sex. Yes, I am a 22 year old virgin. I have intended to wait until I am married to give up my V-card. I've had a few boyfriends of course, but they were always told the same thing 'I am waiting'.

On day four Rose came to me with what she said has to at least be 75% better than my alternatives. You see, Rose is a JR Secretary for Edward Cullen of Cullen Enterprises and she has first hand knowledge of all things Edward, aka sex-on-legs-cullen.

Mr. Cullen is filthy rich with a net worth in excess of billions of dollars. He is six years my senior at 28 years old, he has a weakness for attractive young women, a fondness for consuming large amounts of alcohol when on one of the very few vacations that he does take, and making fairly stupid decisions while under said influence. Plus he's fucking hot!

This weekend happens to be when he is taking one of his rare vacations as his brother is getting married and they are having a weekend long bachelor party in none other than Las Vegas. No, I have not missed the irony in my situation as I am returning to the scene of the crime so to speak. The same city that got me into this mess considering if my parents were never going to Vegas, my dad would not have borrowed more money and they would still be alive today.

I must say that as much as I am still scared to death over the whole situation, I think it might just work and Rose was right it is a much better reality than my alternatives. Let's just say that I was very surprised when Rose showed up and filled me in on the plan.

"Bella, honey! I've got it I really think I've fucking got it!"

"Jesus, Rose. You've got what? Calm the hell the down so I can actually fucking understand you."

"A plan, Bella. The answer to your fucking prayers! It's my boss, Edward fucking Cullen!"

We both suffer from frequent potty mouth but Rose definitely has me beat, she's in rare form if she manages a sentence without a curse word of some sort. I have no idea how she manages at work.

"What? How can your boss help me? And why the hell would he?"

"Bella, I've told you all the stories about him. He's a bit of a ladies man, never settles down and gets around but he's very respectable about it. He can't have the wrong shit going around about him, so he tries to keep things private where his personal life is concerned but we always hear shit around the office."

She was beaming as she spoke, like she just found the cure to cancer or some shit. I guess in my case if whatever it is works then technically she has saved my life, though not from cancer or anything.

"Ok, I still don't get it. Go on." I urged her.

"He's such a hard ass, ruthless business man at work, but when he takes his very rare holidays he loves his booze and gets shit faced enough that he ends up in the tabloids because he hopped into bed with this one or that one. Anyway Jasper, his brother is getting married next month and in a couple of weeks they are heading to Vegas for a guys weekend, just the brothers." She was so excited I thought she would hyperventilate if she didn't soon get this out.

"You need to go to Vegas Bella, you need make sure you both get shit faced and get him to marry you! You can do it, I fucking know you can!"

I just happened to be taking a drink of my diet coke and let's just say that Rose is now wearing it. It exploded from my mouth and burned the shit out of my nose as some flew out that way too!

"What the fuck Rose? Marry him? What would that accomplish and how the hell would I accomplish such a feat? Come on Rose, we need some real ideas here!" Rose held up her hands asking me to hear out.

"Just think about it Bella, it's your answer and maybe your only hope. He has a ton of money that you will have access to after your married, your sexy as hell we'll be sure to have you all done up. If this works and he marries you he'll want to keep it under wraps, especially since they'll obviously be no pre-nup." I was in shock, I know for a fact that I was wide eyed and my mouth was hanging open.

"You'll just have to be up to and willing to play hard ball with him. Refuse a divorce, threaten to go public, act like your all in love you know like love at first fucking sight and you'll take him to the cleaners for all he's got because he broke your heart. I mean shit Bells, it's got be better to think about sex with one insanely hot man than dozens or even hundreds of others, or even death!" She released a nervous laugh at that, probably remembering how I'm such a shitty liar.

"I don't know Rose, I'm such a shitty liar. You know that and it just…god it's just so wrong."

" I know, but I'd be willing to put money on the fact that you could lie to save your own life. Plus it'll be easy, his brother Emmett is a super friendly guy. Make friends with him first but be sure to be making eyes at Edward, so it's clear who your into because he doesn't play games so if he thinks your after Emmett at first then you won't stand a chance.

And that was that, another couple hours of planning, a few of new outfits lingerie included, two plane tickets, one over priced suite at the Bellagio and here we are checking into our shared room. I was shocked when Rose said she would join me and even more shocked when she came over with two boxes of black hair dye to colour that long, thick beautiful blond hair of hers.

She had said that I will need her help a little out of the room and that they wouldn't recognize her with the change of hair since they barely bother with her anyway. She works under Tanya the SR Secretary, whom has the worlds biggest crush if not infatuation over their boss and this would kill her. Rose actually seemed gleeful over the idea of Tanya being distraught, they really do not get along. Mainly because Tanya is a whiny, manipulative bitch who takes credit for everything Rose does, and it just so happens to be a lot.

We spent a couple of hours getting ready and I must admit that rose had me looking hotter than I ever remember looking. I barely even recognized myself when I looked myself over in the mirror. We went through a couple of bottles of wine as well before she did a quick once over before we left.

"He won't know what hit him Bella, I swear to god! Now remember if you manage to make this happen tonight it might be better if we lay low tomorrow don't give him a chance to sweet talk you. Wait till we get back to Chicago if you can."

"Ok, ok. I know. Fuck I am so nervous. I mean not only might I end up married this weekend but I might lose my V-card too!" I exclaimed.

"I know, I'm so fucking proud of you Bells!"

"Rose, you know I wanted to wait." I groaned.

"Yeah, for your wedding night dumbass. Well guess what, it will be your wedding night!"

"Not with someone I love though."

"He's a god Bella, you'll love him!" She said as she broke out in a loud laugh.

We spent a couple of hours at the slots before I finally noticed Edward and his brothers at a Black Jack table. Rose immediately starting shoving me towards their table telling me she'll hang around till she see's that they seem to have started talking to me. I whined that she wouldn't be with me and she just reminded me that they wouldn't know her at distance with the changes but up close you never know. So I let it go and headed over.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" I asked in my sweetest voice, saving the sultry for later.

"Absolutely not doll, have a seat." The one rose pointed out as Emmett had replied and lucky enough it happened to be a seat sitting between both him and Edward. I kept chanting to myself to remember that I am not supposed to know their names yet so wait to be introduced.

"So you having any luck yet?" I asked.

"No" he laughed. " My brother Jasper on the end there is doing ok, but Edward and I haven't won crap yet."

I was so happy that Rose and I had practiced a bunch of vegas card games so I could hold my own at the tables with them. I noticed that Edward had started to finally win a few rounds as soon as I sat down so I used it as an excuse to talk to him .

"I thought you weren't having any luck before I sat down Edward? Are you hiding a good luck charm from the rest of us?" I said laughing lightly.

"I wasn't, maybe you're my lucky charm." He said winking at me. OH MY GOD! Rose was so right. Edward Cullen is a god! I hadn't gotten a really good look at him up close before. Fuck I think my panties are literally soaked already!

"Well maybe I need to consider sticking to your side for the evening then" I said while winking back at him.

"Maybe you do…I'm sorry I don't think I got your name?"

"That's because I didn't give it Edward, but hi, I'm Bella" I said holding out my hand to him. There was shock and almost a tingling like sensation as he took a hold of my hand and I knew he felt it too by the way he looked from my eyes to my hand a couple of times before releasing my hand.

"Nice to meet you Bella, and I guess you haven't really been introduced so this is my brother Emmett over here, and My brother Jasper over here.

We spent the next couple of hours going from one table to the next with the boys dragging me along. I used the excuse that they were keeping me company as my girlfriend ended up sick as a dog in our room and I was on my own for the night to buy them a few shots to help keep the alcohol flowing. They all of course insisted on returning the favour as it was no problem keeping a sexy assed woman company (Emmett's words)

So yeah, the wine prior to leaving the room mixed with the 5 or 6 drinks I had through the night and then 12, yes count them 12 shots later I was in much worse shape than I had intended. It was supposed to mainly be Edward that was loaded not me as well.

Edward and I had taken to getting cozy with each other, as we went from table to table I would feel that same electric current running through me as he would place his hand on my lower back leading me around. I found we were tucking our heads in close together talking and at some point Jasper and Emmett disappeared claiming they were going to bed, but I think they were just giving Edward some privacy.

We talked a little about each other I stuck to some of the truth, like my name, age, I was a student. He shared his name, age, that he ran his company but we didn't get into what his company was all about or money. He told me Jasper was getting married and that was why they were here. So we got to touch on the marriage subject as we had another few more drinks.

He ended up asking if I wanted to get some air and I quickly agreed. As we were walking around, we talked and Edward had taken my hand and we kind of stumbled along together. He was definitely as drunk if not more than me. I couldn't believe how tall he was next to me, he had to be at least 6'2 and did I mention how gorgeous he was! Lucky for me I noticed a bench in front of one of the little wedding chapels and suggested we sit.

As we sat Edward had leaned in and placed a kiss on my lips, I was a little surprised at his very public display of affection but that just helped lead me forward. One of the happy couples stumbled out of the chapel laughing and I turned to Edward…

"See? That right there is exactly what I want. I don't want to spend forever planning a wedding, that's nothing but hassles. Spontaneity, that's my dream wedding." I sighed.

"Well I guess you're a pretty simple woman, hmm? Not hard to keep you happy." He replied while leaning back in for a kiss. This time I made sure I pushed the limits, I moaned as his tongue entered my mouth and I reached down gently rubbing my hand across what was obviously his very large erection. Which elicited a loud moan from Edward before he reached between my legs palming my very wet center.

We made out on the bench like a couple of school kids and before I knew it I had pulled his suit jacket that had been resting beside him across his leg covering his groin as I undid his pants button and zipper slipping my hand in and stroking his smooth, long, thick member. I could feel him pulsing in my hand as he moaned my name.

"Mmm oh god, Bella." He moaned into my mouth.

"Oh yes Edward" I moaned back." Fuck, I wish you could just fuck me right now!" I growled as I nipped at his bottom lip.

"My room." He hissed." I have my own room." At this point I think I would have gone no matter what but I still had to try.

"Oh god, I wish I could Edward, I really want to but I've never been…um with a ah…man." I stumbled. "I was saving that, you know? I didn't wait till I was 22 just to blow it because I'm in Vegas, unless of course you intend to take me in there and give me my dream wedding…" I trailed off giggling like it was just a joke while he was still kissing up and down my throat and what felt like only a matter of seconds away from releasing his load in my hand.

I brought his lips back to mine and we were lost in a frenzied kiss as he moaned out loud.

"Oh shit, fuck yes, Bella. Oh god yes baby, whatever you want!" I pulled back slightly to see his face.

"Fuck! Did you just say you wanted to marry me, you want to take me in there and give me my dream wedding? Cause god, don't tease me Edward!" He released into my hand as he yelled out that no, he wasn't teasing.

His body shook slightly as he came. I got up quickly rinsing my hand in the fountain as Edward fixed his pants. He got up and pulled me by the hand towards the chapel.

"Come on, let's do this! I've never taken that leap and obviously you haven't either, we're in Vegas for Christ's sakes there's no better place in the world to do it and it's your dream wedding. What could be better?"

He was rambling and I was sure that I had to be hearing things but sure enough he was dragging me through the doors of A Special Memory Wedding Chapel.

I quickly sent a text off to Rose while Edward was looking at rings, letting her know where we are, I knew she would be excited that everything seemed to be working out.

**From Bella**

**To Rose**

**At A special memory wedding chapel-think its happening. I feel like a fucking asshole!**

**From Rose **

**To Bella**

**I know babe. I'm so proud though. Just remember I love u and this is to save ur life!**

She always knew just what to say, nothing like being slammed back into my reality. I wasn't lying, I hate myself for doing this to Edward and myself but I have no choice it's this or die because I have no intention of being sold off or rented out to a bunch of a douche bags.

I felt even worse as I listened to Edward telling the woman he was purchasing the rings from that he was disappointed that he had to put such rings on our fingers. He wanted the best. So he purchased the best of what they had to offer.

I nearly died when she told him it would be over $10,000 for the matching diamond and wedding band for me and his matching wedding band. They were beautiful, and here he was of course feeling like they were not good enough.

Everything went so fast, the rings, paperwork, ID and before I knew it we were in front of the minister.

"Do you Edward Anthony Cullen take thee Isabella Marie swan to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part." The minister asked.

"I do" Edward stated.

"Do you Isabella Marie Swan take Edward Anthony Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part." The minister now asked me.

"I do" I whispered.

"Congratulations Mr and Mrs Cullen, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your wife Mr Cullen." Edward then turned and place an innocent yet passion filled kiss on my lips.

Everything after that started to get a little fuzzy, I know we went back to the hotel and Edward had his arms around me as he proudly announced to many people in the lobby that I was his new bride and told the concierge that he wanted a bottle of their finest champagne sent to his room and off we went. I could have sworn I noticed a couple of flashes off to the side but didn't concern myself with it.

The next thing I remember is waking up naked feeling sore as hell wrapped tightly in Edwards arms….

**A/N: So what do you think? Just to let you know, no I did not rob those of you that want all dirty details of their honeymoon night, just continue to read and you will hear about it from both Edward and Bella. The story rated M for a reason! Alos, all characters are the property of SM.**


	2. Ch 2 The Morning After

**A/N: Welcome back! So I am going to continue in Bella POV which I believe will be what I use for most of the story. We'll hear from Edward when necessary to make sense of things and to occasionally see what he is thinking.**

**Previous Chapter: **The next thing I remember is waking up naked feeling sore as hell wrapped tightly in Edwards arms….

**Bella POV:**

I tried to roll over as I slowly woke up and all too soon realized that their were very firm masculine arms wrapped tightly around me…'what the fuck?' I tilted my head up to look over my shoulder and seen the bronze haired god from last night.

Then it suddenly hit me 'oh shit, Edward. It fucking worked!' I thought as flashbacks of last nights events slowly started to run through my mind. I could remember the lobby, the champagne, entering his room. How we couldn't keep our hands off each other and how he kept calling me Mrs Cullen, saying how wonderful it felt to say it. Saying that marriage was not something he had ever given thought to but was glad he did this.

Then there was the sex, oh god he was so perfect. He took his time and was so gentle and caring with me, stilling as he entered me to make sure I was ok with everything he did. I remember silently crying after he had dozed off as I thought of how wonderful and perfect he was and what I was doing to him. I felt him stir beside me and knew I would have to think back to last nights events and what was my very first time later because I need to prepare myself for one of many different reactions he could have to this.

I kept my breathing even and tried to pretend I was sleeping as I felt him shift behind me. He pulled me tighter against him and I could feel his erection pressing up against my ass as he groaned and kissed the back of my head. Ok, so he must at least remember me and that he brought me here. I don't see him being touchy feely with someone he doesn't even remember bringing back to his room.

"Mmm…your hair smells lovely Bella." Yep, he remembers me.

"Thank you, Edward." I whispered as I ground back gently against him.

"Have you been awake long?" He whispered into my ear and nibbled and kissed his way down. I wish he would say something, some hint that he knows we're married! My mind screamed at me.

"Not long, just a couple of minutes really."

"Mmm…" He moaned out again as he ran his fingers through my hair and gently down my shoulder to my arm and down my hip as he brought his hand around to my pelvis and gently pulled me back even closer to him.

"Oh god" I groaned as my breathing picked up with the simple touch of his fingers so close to where I want them right now, where I need them. I swivelled my hips knowing what it was doing to him.

His fingers finally found their way down to my throbbing nub and ran down my already wet folds. "Your so fucking wet for me, Bella" He growled in my ear.

"Mmm…yes. Just for you Edward." I whispered in his ear as I reached behind me taking a hold of his hair and pulling his face down to mine.

He slipped first one then two fingers inside of me and started to pump gently in and out of me and I could feel myself clench around his fingers as my juices slowly gathered around his hand.

" Oh God, Edward. I'm gonna come… so hard, don't stop. Please don't stop" I begged him "Jesus, I love your fingers in me, so long and slender, Beautiful." I moaned loudly.

I barely recognised my own voice and the words that left my mouth…they were shocking to me but nonetheless they just come falling off my lips.

"Is that all you love having in you?" He hissed against my ear." Fuck! Cum for me beautiful, I want to feel you cum around my fingers."

My body shook as I called out his name and released into his hand still buried in me, when he finally removed his beautiful fingers from me he brought them to his mouth and moaned as he told me how delectable I taste. His hand explored my body again before stopping as he cupped his hand around the right cheek of my ass and squeezed.

"Such a beautiful, tight little ass." He said as he flipped me over settling himself between my thighs. I could tell he was still slightly drunk, it was awfully late by the time we finally fell asleep.

His lips found mine and I was quick to open my mouth to him as his tongue explored my swollen lips and dipped inside. God, he could kiss! Is there anything this man is not great at?

He lowered his face to my breasts where he licked and nibbled on my already swollen nipples, while his other hand skimmed down my stomach and continued to stroke my outer folds.

"Jesus, Bella. I need to fuck you right now! I want you so bad…"

He moved toward me, positioning himself against my center and slid into me again for the third time. Both times last night had been slow and gentle but this morning as he began to move inside of me, his thrusts in and out became harder, more forceful and it hurt a little with still being tender from my first time just last night.

I lost myself in his moans as he cried out my name whispering 'your so fucking beautiful' in my ear. I could feel my release building, my body tensing as I quivered and writhed beneath him pushing my body against him feeling him sink deeper and deeper within me.

I brought my hand to his hair, almost violently fusing my lips to his as he groaned into my mouth, increasing his pace as he sought out the release we both knew would be explosive between us.

"Oh Fuck, Bella baby!" He called out as I felt him swell then pump his hot seed into me, I felt myself tighten and clench around him as I came milking him completely. His forehead dropped to the mattress right next to mine as we both fought to control our breathing.

I wrapped my arms around his waist burying my face in his shoulder as I heard him whisper 'whaat the fuuck' each word sort of long and drawn out. I saw him raise his left hand out of the corner of my eye and was suddenly very scared, knowing this was exactly what I have been waiting for.

"Shit" He said while raising his head to look at me. "Jesus Christ we…we're not…fuck!" He reached behind pulling my left hand from behind him. "Oh fuck!"

I could feel the tears building in my eyes, I was so fucking nervous. I had thought I was ready for this and now here he is, his fucking dick still in me as he realizes what we now are to each other. I ripped my hand from his grasp and shoved at his chest.

"Get off of me, for fuck sakes." Please don't cry, please don't cry I kept chanting to myself as I placed my hands over my face. I felt him slide out of me and roll to the side pulling me into his arms.

"Please don't cry." He mimicked my words. "Shit, we can fix this. It's no big deal, I'll take care of it."

I could feel the anger building and suddenly realized that this will not be so hard to do. Sure I set out to do this wrong to him, but he didn't know that and yet still had no problem marrying me, taking my virginity and then try to brush it off as something that he can just fix and then be rid of the problem, be rid of me.

I pulled out of his arms climbing out of the bed not even caring that I was buck fucking naked. "Fix this, no big deal, you'll take care of this…is that what you said, Edward." I spat at him. "What was this like some little business venture to you?"

He left the bed and came to stand in front of me grasping my arms "Bella…" He started.

"Don't fucking touch me, just…don't. I can't believe you, your telling me that you woke this morning touching me and…and e..everything else and truly had no fucking idea you were screwing your wife until the moment you got off! Very fucking convenient Edward." I huffed feeling a few tears begin to fall from my eyes.

I, by all means am not this good an actor. The tears were real, brought on by a mixture of things. Frustration, hurt, anger, and guilt, that was still there. Yes, I realize what I must sound like. Feeling hurt and used by the same man I am currently using.

I really think the reality of what I did was just setting in on a personal level. I know and accept my wrong doing in this and can not completely blame him but I can't help but feel like I do. I gave him myself, my virtue and he can just look at me and basically say oh hey thanks for that now take a hike.

"Bella, please listen. I, I don't know what happened, how this happened. The last thing I would refer to any of this as being is convenient. Believe me, you have no idea what kind of whirlwind this can cause. We just need to calm down and talk about this, ok? We'll keep it simple and quiet."

"So basically none of this meant anything to you…the connection we felt. Both of us felt I might add." I knew my voice was getting louder and the tears were coming faster but I couldn't stop it.

"Of course it does, I can't quite remember everything but believe me it's all slowly coming back to me. Look lets get dressed and talk…quietly." When he added quietly it only served to piss me off.

"Oh yes god forbid the world find out what kind of a ruthless bastard Edward Cullen is. Couldn't seduce the virgin so he married her in an impromptu Vegas wedding, stole her virtue then dumped her ass. Makes for a great story right? You're a real fucking dick, Cullen."

He was silent for a moment so I took that opportunity to gather what I could find of my clothes and started dressing.

"Virtue, virgin. Jesus fucking Christ." He whispered. "I'm sorry Bella, I…truly didn't remember that um…part of this until you said it." By now I was dressed so I just picked up my heels and headed for the door as he quickly struggled to throw his boxers back on.

"Bella, wait. We have to talk, we can't just leave things like this." I had just pulled the door open and hadn't noticed Emmett and Jasper standing behind me.

"Fuck you, Edward!" I turned on my heel only to collide with a brick wall that was Emmett. "Sorry" I said trying to skirt around him.

"Don't be Bella. What's wrong? What did my asshole brother do now?"

"Emmett" I heard the warning in Edwards tone as he spoke his brothers name but I didn't care. I knew this was my way to make it known in case he tried to hide it. I had to start playing hard ball as Rose would say.

"It's nice to know I'm not the only one that thinks my husband is an asshole." I said pointedly and fixed my glare on Edward. Needless to say he was looking a little surprised.

"Whoa…did you just say husband? As in Edward is your husband?"

"Sure did." Was my only response as I wiggled the fingers of my left hand at him, showing him my rings. I looked back over my shoulder as I shut the door and all three men were standing there with their mouths gaping open.

I rushed downstairs by way of the stairs I didn't want to wait for the elevator in case he tried to follow me. It was almost eleven and I knew Rose would be waiting for me to return. She was anxious to see me and jumped up running over to me.

"You're a fucking mess, I take it everything didn't go so well for you this morning?"

"Well" I said holding up my left hand for her to see, using my right to rid my face of the tears. "Regardless, I am still a married woman. The hard part is done I guess." I started to sob at that and she pulled me into her arms.

"It's going to be ok honey. I know how bad you feel about doing all this but I can't bring myself to care, I rather like you still breathing. Sooo…come on tell me, how was your first time?"

"Oh god Rose, it was wonderful he was truly wonderful with that part. I am so pissed though at his logic, I felt like he was basically treating me and this whole situation like it was just business this morning."

"Did you manage to make him think that you want this marriage?"

"Basically, I mean cried and accused him of using me and told him that I thought we felt something like a connection between us. The worst part is that I think we actually did, Rose. There's like an energy when we touch, a spark of sorts."

"Well that's interesting. Oh did you see the paper this morning? Which reminds me I know we didn't talk about it but since you told me where you were I took the liberty of heading over and snapped a few pictures of the two of you leaving the chapel. Surprisingly enough you looked to be in love so if we have to use them with lawyers for a better settlement we can."

"Hold up Rose, ok I got ya on the pictures but what about the paper?

"Oh your going to love this" She said shoving the paper towards me. I gasped as I read the front caption.

"Mystery Woman Finally Wins The Heart Of Billionaire Edward Cullen!" There was a picture of us in the lobby with his arms wrapped around me and a big smile on both our faces.

The inside article's caption read 'Sorry To All The Hopeful Ladies Out There, Cullen's Off The Market! And stated that sources witnessed Mr. Cullen's very public display of affection for his new bride as he had proudly introduced her as such. He went on to have a celebratory bottle of their finest champagne sent to their room. As print time rolled around we had yet to be able to confirm the mystery brides identity but expect to be swamped with calls as the article is released.

"Holy shit Rose!"

"I know right, and that wasn't even our doing. I think he might just play right into your hands for a while at least. This is going to work, Bella. I have a really good feeling about this, now lets get some lunch I'm fucking starved!"

Rose and I left our hotel for lunch I didn't want to risk running into Edward. We decided as we ate that we would just stay in for the night, pick up some munchies and order a few movies. We hit a few shops and made our way back to our hotel. I was scanning the lobby as entered and noticed Edward at the front desk from what I could hear he was asking about a room number for me. Thank god we booked it under Rose.

We were in the elevator the doors still open when Edward spotted me, he called out my name and started walking quickly towards. "We have to talk Bella" he was saying and I just shook my head while constantly hitting the close door button hoping it would close before he got near.

"Fuck that was close." Rose stated stepping out of the corner she had hid in. "Did you see what he had in his hand?"

"No, why?"

"I sent a copy of the paper to his room, saying it was from you. This way he thinks your trying to warn him that people already know, so he can prepare a statement or something."

"If this works Rose, I will owe you so much for everything you've been doing. I never would have thought of all these little things."

We had a quiet night, we watched movies, we laughed, we talked. Rose kept trying to call me Mrs. Cullen, I just told her she wasn't funny anymore. Our flight was leaving at 4:15pm and we were running late, luckily we were still able to board the plane. It had been a trying weekend to say the least so I slept through the flight, only waking as we were approaching Chicago.

Let's just say that I was not expecting the reception we received as we stepped off the plane. We were the last to exit as we were sitting in the back and I had no idea what was going on as we entered the airport, people were flocking to one area yelling out to someone. I ignored it and kept on walking passed the crowd.

The last thing I heard before the craziness started was 'Over there, I think that's her!' I never would have imagined they were speaking of me but still my first reaction was to look towards the crowd and as all the reporters broke apart and started heading in my direction I noticed that Edward had been the main focus in the center of the crowd. He looked up and our eyes met, I was surprised when he let out a small smile I nodded once in return and tried to fight my way through the crowds.

"You're her right, Edward Cullen's wife?"

"How was the ceremony? I see his brothers were in attendance."

"What's it feel like to know every woman in the world envy's you right now?"

"Mrs. Cullen! Please just one comment?"

"Do you plan to start a family right away. Mrs. Cullen?"

"Do you have any comment on being the first to be able to tame the beast, so to speak?"

The questions went on and on and they wouldn't leave me be, I have to admit that the last question I had registered caused a small smile to appear on my face but I quickly covered my mouth to hide it. Simply stating 'No comment'

I finally just high tailed it to the exit not waiting at baggage for my stuff. I was almost there when Emmett stopped me, grabbing my arm.

"Hey, you ask all you want but don't ever put your hands on me…" I had started before looking up to see Emmett. "Oh god, sorry. I thought you were one of the vulture's."

"That's ok, I don't blame you. I shouldn't have grabbed you, I just wanted to make sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine Emmett, thank you."

"What are you doing in Chicago?" He asked

"Um…I live here."

"Huh, well isn't that interesting,"

"What's so interesting about it?" I laughed " I've lived here my whole life, my father was the police commissioner for the last 12 years."

"Really, I met him a few times then. Edward too…Oh god, I'm so sorry I just remembered that he died not long ago. His wife too, was that your mom?"

"Yeah, they were on their way back from Vegas actually. I guess that is what this weekend was kind of about.'

"How is everyone handling it, I mean I think I can speak for my entire family when I say that we'd have a really hard time of it." I smile at how awkward he was trying to have a conversation with me. When he smiled the cutest little dimples would appear.

"Well everyone would be me, I have no siblings, my grandparents are all gone and my parents were only children as well, so…I um have no family. In answer to your question, I am fine. I've had plenty of time to get used to it."

"Jesus, Bella. Well if it makes you feel any better you have me, we're family now. You can be the sister I always wanted." I laughed but his comment still brought tears to my eyes.

"Thanks, but I don't think we'll be family for long. Edwards going to take care of everything." I said sarcastically making air quotes as I mentioned Edward fixing things.

"He can be a real dick but he is a good guy, he wants to talk to you. I have a feeling that this isn't necessarily over." I rolled my eyes at his last comment and told him I really had to go.

I walked out to find a very agitated Rose tapping her foot on the sidewalk as a taxi driver put our bags in the trunk.

"I got your fucking bags for you, what were you just going to leave them there?"

"I guess. I couldn't handle all the questions."

"What the hell took you so long talking to Emmett?"

"I don't know, it was weird he was asking about my parents and then said something about Edward wanting to talk to me and it doesn't mean it's over. I have no fucking clue."

"He's fucking hot isn't he?"

"I guess Rose but I think I prefer my husband." We both laughed at my response, it couldn't be helped.

The plan now is to give Edward a couple of days and if I don't hear from him then I'll show up at his office to 'talk'.

**A/N: Next is Edwards POV, I don't plan to go too much into detail on most things just the more important stuff. In hopes of not repeating myself too much.**

**A/N: All characters are the property of SM.**


	3. Ch 3 An arrangement Cullen style

**Edward POV: **

I entered my office Monday morning with Tanya, my secretary glaring at me. She's always come on pretty strong and I admit on occasion I've been known to flirt back but I'm not really interested. I prefer brunette's not cheap looking bottled blondes, I have no idea whether or not she realizes how bleached out her hair looks but it's not attractive. She is barely doable, but doable all the same.

That of course didn't stop me from almost making the mistake of sleeping with, well I guess fucking her would be a more appropriate term, at last years Christmas party. I had never been so happy for one of my mother's many phone calls as I was that night. It didn't go much further than kissing and feeling her up, I was about to slide my hand up her skirt and mom called. Thank you Mom.

Since then I had to tell her that it was a mistake, too much booze, the holidays and whatever else and that I don't mix business with pleasure. Ever. She said she understood but it didn't stop her from becoming jealous whenever she heard of me with a woman or seen it in the paper. I imagine she now knows that I'm a married man. Yes, Edward Cullen, a married fucking man, never thought I'd see the day.

I told Emmett if I get through this unscathed I am giving up fucking drinking. I can't say what kind of a woman Bella is but I can tell you that regardless of who she is or who anyone else might be if I had chosen to marry them it would have included a pre-nup. I fucked up, plain and simple. I am worth too much to go around marrying random woman without signing papers.

It's been two days since I have seen her and I can't get her out of my fucking head. It's like she's a witch and cast some kind of fucking spell or something on me. She was right when she mentioned a connection, christ every time we touched it was like there was electricity all around me but that shit shouldn't turn me into a fucking idiot ready to give half my shit away.

I keep hearing what she said before she left in my head, well besides the very blatant fuck you. Which kind of turned me on, most people. Women in particular back down from me not stand up to me but those words, they're eating at me.

"_Oh yes god forbid the world find out what kind of a ruthless bastard Edward Cullen is. Couldn't seduce the virgin so he married her in an impromptu Vegas wedding, stole her virtue then dumped her ass. Makes for a great story right? You're a real fucking dick, Cullen."_

I really do feel like an ass. A little. I married her, took her virginity then tried to tell her in the morning that I could easily undo this shit. I had never been ashamed of myself before, not where a woman was concerned but when I saw the look on her face and those fucking tears…I was done.

Yeah, I'm a complete asshole. Mostly because that shit kind of turned me on. I have to admit, I don't think I've ever done a virgin. Not even when I was one. My first time, I was 16 and she was the very attractive, very indiscriminately sexually active daughter of my parents best friends.

It's not like either of us planned this but still. I really don't think she meant anything by the comment but when she mentioned it being a great story. I immediately thought of the press and how this could look so fucking bad for me, considering I don't have the best reputation to speak of. Not where women are concerned.

I like to play, and play hard but I don't stick around for shit. Any woman I had ever been with knew the deal from the get go. You get nothing from me, I don't wine and dine that is unless I happen to be hungry or need a drink myself, I don't romance anyone, and I sure as shit do not do relationships. There were rules and I followed them to a T. That was the best way to avoid any and all forms of attachments. Of course, it would appear that I somehow managed to scrap the entire fucking rule book where Bella was concerned.

My brother Jasper is an attorney and when we first sat down and talked about this over brunch on Saturday he seemed pretty optimistic that this could be taken care of only losing a small amount of cash. I can't really explain it but as happy as I was to hear that it also caused a tightening in my chest, part of me didn't want to let her go just yet. I would honestly have to say that that was the fierce possessive side of me. She was after all now my wife and it was an insanely erotic feeling to know that no one, and I mean no one else had ever touched _my wife_. Nor would they.

Jasper's optimistic attitude disappeared as soon as we saw the paper Bella had sent to my room. One more thing that made me respect her a little more, she wanted to make sure I knew that we made the paper and I might be hounded about it. Hell, who am I kidding. She might very well have posted that shit herself.

The pictures alone blew me away, we looked…happy, fucking ecstatic actually and in love. Then there were the witness accounts to the way I proudly introduced _my wife _to the entire hotel lobby the concierge included.

The icing on the cake was when I finally broke down and told Jasper something that in all honesty, even I know should have stayed between myself and Bella, I told him about her being a virgin. That right there ended it all, he told me I was fucked she could take me the cleaners and most probably win a good portion of my money. Telling me it's rare for a woman to save herself anymore and it'll truly look like I set out to do what Edward Cullen always does - taking what I want by any means possible.

She could claim emotional pain caused by the humiliation of me marrying her under false pretences (that pretence being my sickly twisted and perverted need to take what she wouldn't give without marriage) is being gratuitously inflicted by me. Jasper claimed it could be a long shot but the wrong or maybe right judge could decide that it falls under one of the seven major grounds for divorce here in Chicago - Mental Cruelty.

He said it wouldn't matter that we weren't married for long, that between my reputation, the pictures showing how happy and willing I was, the witnesses to the same account and my admittance that she said she wouldn't have sex unless I married her because she was saving herself, which made me look like a monster out to ruin her good name.

She could also on top of the divorce settlement file a personal injury civil suit claiming the humiliation I put her through so publicly all because of my supposed need to wed the virgin, steal her virtue and throw her aside. He had gone on to tell me that in many cases that might not matter but because my life is followed so much by the media it would seriously be considered an embarrassment to her.

So I was fucked, sure I can get a divorce if I really want one but it will cost me a small fortune to do so. Either way I would be a married man for the next two years. The two-year waiting requirement can be waived if both parties sign a special waiver form. Even then, however, they must still live separate and apart for at least six months before the case may be finalized.

My thoughts were interrupted by Tanya, knocking on my door she wanted to go over today's schedule with me as there were a few changes. She took a seat across from me as usual, only she surprised me with a comment I wasn't expecting.

"So it's true then."

I hadn't the slightest idea what she was referring to until I looked up to see her eyeing my wedding band. Yes, I was still wearing it. Admittedly Jasper had told me last night that until we figure things out I should keep it on as the world knows now and this way I am putting up a happy front to the media.

I have to admit though that up until he mentioned it I hadn't removed it anyway, and didn't have any plans to. It bothered me a little that I didn't understand the why of it.

"Ah…um yes I did get married this weekend, but it's a private matter that I don't wish to discuss right now."

"Fine, your 2:00 with Jacob Black has been pushed back to next Monday same time, something about a family emergency. So I took the liberty of moving up your 3:30 with Victoria Kingsly so that you could call it an early day and get home to your wife. You know surprise her." She sneered.

I didn't really know where the anger was coming from since I didn't know Bella well nor had I seen her since the morning after our wedding but it pissed me off that Tanya was going to have a problem with her. Or maybe it was just that she was disrespecting me, seeing as for all she knew I had chosen to marry and spend the rest of my life with this woman. What the fuck ever.

"Is there a problem Tanya? Does my wife cause a problem for you doing your job and only your job? Because if it does we can make a few changes."

"No Mr. Cullen, I am sorry. It won't happen again."

"Yes, you'll do well to stay out of my personal affairs especially where my wife is concerned."

"Yes sir, and I'm sorry again." She had mumbled while trying to get out of my office as quickly as possible.

As much as I don't really know the woman I am now married to I had learned enough about her to say that she seemed like a good person who had suffered a lot in the recent past. She had lost both her parents to a plane crash only a couple of months ago, she had no other family to speak of basically she was alone. Maybe this will be easier than I thought, being as one would think that she had too much going on to have any clue of how much I am worth.

She attended the University of Chicago and was due to graduate in a few months, and seemed to be living off of a small trust fund as well as insurance money from her parents.

Emmett stopped by my office to show me today's paper with our arrival at the airport yesterday being reported. Needless to say I did not even know where Bella was from until she entered the airport a few minutes behind me and was accosted by the press.

At one point I almost went to her just to get the vulture's away from her and to make sure she was ok, but Emmett had stopped me saying maybe it was best that I didn't approach her yet with all the media around and that he would go talk to her for a minute.

The reporter had gone on to mention that we had returned from our Vegas wedding on the same flight but had exited the plane separately, me with my brothers in tow and her with an unidentified female companion.

There were pictures of both of us with a circle around each of our left hands. The caption above read 'Although both have opted to stay tight lipped about their marriage the rings they were both sporting on their trek through the airport is all the confirmation needed.'

There was also another picture of me when I first noticed her and I smiled, the vulture's missed nothing and it was reported that supposedly that look said it all 'she had captured my heart' obviously the prick that wrote the article didn't know shit about me.

The rest of my day went by uneventfully, I hurried through my meeting with Victoria as she is just one more woman that can not take no for an answer. I swear she only does business with my company just to try and get in my pants. She was now hinting about getting together after the meeting as Tanya had explained to her when she called the reason for changing things was to cut my day short. She has blazing red hair and a sensational rack, she is an attractive woman, definitely a one time only fuckworthy partner, if I'd met her in a bar but again the business/pleasure factor comes in. No fucking thank you. I don't do complications.

I did the first thing that came to mind when Tanya buzzed me as she is always supposed to since it usually gives me a reason to end my meeting and get Victoria out of my office. I asked Tanya if my wife had called. She huffed a little and told me what I already knew, no she hadn't called.

It was enough to at least get Victoria off my back for a while.

"I had heard that you got married, but I didn't believe it for a second."

"Well this you can believe." I said holding up my ring finger to her.

"Wow, I'm amazed. I guess there's hope for us all then I mean if this one doesn't work out at least we all now know that you are not a commitment phobe." If she only knew…

I laughed lightly not really finding her funny and told her that my marriage would be just fine. Where all this crap was coming from I have no idea and I'm sure I'll regret it when I do finally get a divorce.

I made it home in record time washed down the Italian food I had picked up on my way, showered and sat at my piano for an hour or so composing a new ballad that had come to me over the last couple of days.

Then I flicked on the tv to catch the news as I scrolled through the channels looking for something to watch until the news came on, I came across an entertainment show as a video showing Bella hurrying through the airport was displayed. The announcer said to stay tuned for the live footage of Edward Cullen's new bride as she returned home form her wedding.

Normally I don't even care for these shows, they're bullshit half the time but for some reason I just needed to see her again.

I was waiting impatiently through all the commercials and then there she was. She walked through with her head down not making eye contact with anyone until the last reporter threw out a question and she looked up. Her cheeks were coloured with that beautiful blush she gets when embarrassed and a small smile tugged at one corner of her mouth before she said 'No comment' and brought her hand to mouth.

I knew two fucking things then and there. 1) She was most definitely covering a smile with that hand I could tell by the sparkle in her eye and I needed to know what made her smile right then. And 2) It fucking did something to me to see the rings I gave her, our wedding rings still on her finger and brought to her pretty little mouth.

I was glad for the instant replay feature as I rewound to see what it was that caused her to smirk at the reporter. She was probably asked a million questions and never looked up, why a reaction to that one I wondered. I was surprised when it started over that I had missed all the questions since they were clear as day and yet I never heard a word. I guess I was paying more attention to her then anything.

"You're her right, Edward Cullen's wife?"

"How was the ceremony? I see his brothers were in attendance."

"What's it feel like to know that just about every woman in the world envy's you right now?"

"Mrs. Cullen! Please just one comment?"

"Do you plan to start a family right away. Mrs. Cullen?" A family? No fucking way. If ever there were a truly unwanted complication, that was definitely it.

"Do you have any comment on being the first to be able to tame the beast, so to speak?"

I actually laughed out loud at what had caught her attention, a reporter asking her feelings on being the first to tame the beast. I barely caught her mumbled 'no comment' as she was trying to cover the smirk playing on her lips. Then I wondered what the smirk was for, did she in some way feel that she had managed to pull one over on me, considering I can't see myself ever having gotten married.

To the outside world she had tamed the beast and was taking a little joy in it. There was something about her, a part of me, no matter how small wanted her. Wanted to possess her, make her mine.

My phone rang just as I changed it over to the news station. The caller ID showing Jasper.

"Hey Jasper"

"Nope, it's Alice sugar. So we just happened to catch a little video of your…um wife returning form her wedding." She said giggling and I could hear Jasper in the background laughing as he was yelling out that he told her to leave it alone.

"What can I do for you Alice?"

"Oh nothing, I just wanted to see if you sound any different as a tamed beast." She was full out laughing now. It was no longer funny.

"Alice, if you only called to annoy the hell out me I've got to go, the news is about to start." I was always teasing her about annoying me but if truth be told I love her like a sister, her and Jasper have been together forever.

"Edward, you listen to me. I was calling to tell you not to fuck this up, I have such a good feeling about this and you know my feelings are always right."

"Fuck what up, my marriage that isn't really a marriage."

"Of course it's a marriage, with real vows, real rings, and from what I hear even real sex afterwards. Your fucking married Edward, deal with it! She's it for you. You may not know it yet but you will."

"Good bye Alice, the news is on. I'll talk to you later."

"Fine, Edward. But your still in shit by the way, cause you stole my glory with this shot gun wedding of yours. We'll deal with that later though and I want to meet her, now good bye."

"Good bye" I said while hanging up and cursing the pixie that will soon be a part of my family. It bothers me that she is always right and that without having said a word to anyone she knows that I have been thinking about Bella in more ways then just how I was going to divorce her.

Over the next few weeks I grew increasingly more frustrated with the media, they were looking to spot me with my wife and were beginning to talk about how strange it was for me to be seen so often and never with my wife.

I was beginning to get a little nervous over what stories would circulate after I showed up to the hospitals charity fundraiser coming up, alone.

Some would say that this should be easy enough to explain, but I have no intention of humiliating myself by admitting that I got drunk and married a perfect stranger. I won't embarrass myself or my family in that way nor will I allow my business to be hurt by it. Imagine how irresponsible I would look, who would want to do business with a man who would make such stupidly rash decisions.

Jasper had looked a little further into my situation and told me that I may as well try to contact her and see if I can't offer her enough money that we can both be happy with and see if I can't convince her to live through six months or so as my wife then we claim to split amicably and go our separate ways.

We both win that way, her by way of enough money to live well off of and I get to avoid the humiliation of the fucked up situation I have gotten myself into.

I managed to track her down working part time at a small book store around the corner from my offices and convinced her to meet with me, she agreed to dinner at my place as we couldn't go anywhere public at the moment. I wasn't about to risk an angry public confrontation.

She had shown up right on time, dinner was on the table within ten minutes and I didn't waste any time getting right to the point. I've never bothered with playing games before and I wasn't going to start now. This would nothing more than any other day to day business arrangement if I could get her to agree to it.

"Wine?" I offered before taking my seat at the table.

"Yes, thank you." She was being quiet, and was successfully masking her emotions, I had no clue what was going through her mind.

"Your welcome Bella, and thank you for coming on such short notice."

"Your welcome." I was probably lucky if she had said more then a dozen words to me since she got here but at least two of them were not _fuck you_. Then again, I'd probably be rock hard if they were, she was feisty and for some reason it was a fucking turn on.

"I'd like to get right to the point if you don't mind." I paused waiting for her reaction which again wasn't much.

"Ok."

"First I would like to apologize to you. My initial reaction to our…um marriage was in no way meant to be insulting or hurtful towards you. I was just shocked, I have no idea what got into me and again that is not a reflection on you. I am just simply not that guy, I have never once in my life considered marriage…" I trailed off and she took that moment to voice her own opinion.

"Until that night, Edward, you never once considered marriage until that night. Have you asked yourself at all what that means, why me, why that night?"

"Certainly, I wonder about it constantly. You were right before I admit that, there was something different about us something I can't explain. You somehow got under my skin in a matter of hours and I can't explain that either and god knows I am attracted to you, I would have to be blind not to be." I noticed she had rolled her eyes at my last comment so I was quick to shut my mouth before I ruined any chance I may have at pulling this off.

"Well I guess I should be happy that my husband is attracted to me, he thinks our marriage was a complete fucking mistake but I got under his skin." She laughed bitterly and put her head in her hands. I had thought she was going to cry again and was glad when she didn't.

"Bella, I think we're starting off on the wrong foot here."

"No I'm sorry Edward. I'm just tired, exhausted really but go ahead and continue."

"Well I have a bit of a proposition for you that I think will benefit us both. Please hear me out though before you react. Ok?"

"Sure, what the hell. Right?"

"It turns out that this is going to be harder than I originally thought, I'm not sure how to start."

She gave me a small smile before telling me to 'just spit it out', I really did love how this woman spoke to me. It was refreshing, now if it were to be anyone else they would have been put in their place instantly. That was one more thought that I put aside for further consideration at a later time.

"Alright then, I was wondering if their were a way to convince you to consider staying married to me for a period of at least six months. I say six months because I am trying to avoid any embarrassment on both our parts that would stem from a quickie divorce, I also have come up with what I feel is a fair monetary settlement for when we do sign off on our divorce." I hesitated waiting for a reaction that never came she just sat there looking at me, so I continued.

"I want to make it clear that this is to protect us both, the media attention in you will only get much worse if we get a divorce as quickly as we actually married." I quickly explained and she still said nothing.

"Now If you were to agree I would expect that to the outside world our marriage would seem completely legitimate as in you would live here, we would go out for the evening at times to be seen together, you would come with me to functions that I am expected to attend. It needs to look like we are serious about our marriage, you understand?"

She seemed to be contemplating things as she played with the sleeve of her sweater.

"What exactly are you offering, Edward?"

"I was thinking three million, half a million per month. I think that is more than fair considering I intend to be a model husband to you." She laughed lightly at my joke leaving me feeling like this might go better than I thought.

"So, other than what you have already mentioned we would just live our own lives? separately? I do what I want and you do the same?"

"That would depend on what you mean by doing what you want. For the kind of money I'm offering I would expect that you not humiliate me, in short there will be no other men. That is unacceptable, I will not have someone that is presenting herself as my wife out hanging off of other men."

"What about um….sex? You'd be making just as big a fool of me if you were caught with other women. It would definitely be unacceptable to me as well."

"First of all I think I would expect that we both not see other people, at all. Secondly although it is certainly not expected because I would not insult you in such a manner, I'm not paying you for sex. I do not pay for sex period but I wouldn't be opposed to us being together at times, I mean we seemed quite compatible... before, but as I said it's not expected."

She sat quietly, in deep thought a little longer than I found comfortable before finally responding to me.

"I know I'm probably going to live to regret this but yes. When do you want me here?"

"You can take all the time you need to get your stuff together, but I'd like you to at least start staying here tomorrow night the press has been insane. Maybe we'll grab coffee or something tomorrow night once your settled so that we'll finally be seen out together.

Also, I'll keep paying for your apartment so that it is still there for you after…all of this."

With everything settled we finished dinner and Bella headed home early wanting to start getting a few things together. I was happy that things worked out so well but a little apprehensive at the fact that she agreed so easily, I decided not to worry about it figuring that she was probably hoping that this would be the least embarrassing route to take and she was walking away a rich woman.

I did also take note of the fact that she had not addressed the physical part of our 'relationship' I now had some pretty good memories, regardless of how broken they were, of our wedding night. She may have not have had any experience prior to that night but we sure as hell had a very wild night, and I for one was looking forward to taking advantage of her wild side if she allowed for it…

**A/N: So, let me know what you think, does the story line seem interesting enough to continue?**

**A/N: All characters belong to SM.**


	4. Ch 4 Cumming out of the closet

**Bella POV: **

Over two weeks had passed since Rose and I had decided that I would go to Edward after a couple of days, if I hadn't heard from him. The only problem with that was that I had no idea how to take this to the next level.

I felt like such a fucking asshole especially after my conversation with Emmett, he had told me that he was family to me and that I wasn't alone. Talk about being confused, I felt guilty for what I was doing to his brother and yet I felt like I shouldn't feel guilty for simply wanting to live. Not that it was Edwards problem, but whatever.

Rose and I have argued every day over the fact that I made it this far and I need to close the deal, she just doesn't want to lose me or see me hurt. I tried to make her see what this was doing to me, the guilt was affecting me physically. I was constantly feeling ill, wasn't eating properly which left me feeling faint at times and I was just plain fucking exhausted.

As I headed into my third week since returning from Vegas Rose started threatening to go to Edward herself, and I knew for a fact that she would which is why I was happy that he had finally contacted me.

He had tracked me down at work and at first I tried to tell him that we had nothing to talk about, but he was persuasive and before I knew it I had agreed to dinner at his place. As bad as I felt I could not believe my luck as he offered me the deal of a lifetime, I wouldn't have to argue or make demands on him or play hard ball as Rose kept trying to coax me.

I had learned something new about Edward that first night at his home, the man could cook. Basically he was perfect, aside from being a womanizing, cocky ass. I found myself wondering if he would often prepare dinner for us or would that be something I would do more of. I was probably just kidding myself thinking he would even be home, or that dinners like tonight would even happen often. This was after all, more of an arrangement than anything else.

I didn't stay long after dinner as I wanted to pack up the few things I wound bring with me, I had gone with a few dresses, some skinny jeans, shirts, blouses and five different pairs of sweats as in yoga pants, tanks and a few sweatshirts which is what I tend to wear most often.

I skipped classes this morning to hit Victoria Secret for some new bra and panty sets, lingerie, and some slightly more appealing sleepwear. I wanted a few more items that Edward would find enticing yet wouldn't be too obvious that I was working on tempting him. Arrangement or not I would have no problem having sex with my abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous husband, while I could still call him that anyway.

I made it to Edwards by five and he was already home, he gave me a hard time saying that there was no way that was enough clothes for me.

"This is fine for now and if I need anything else I could always pick it up, I've told you before Edward I am a very simple woman and don't require much in the way of pampering."

"Well I didn't actually believe you Bella, most woman actually like to be spoiled rotten every once in a while?"

"I'm not most women, Edward. Which is a fact that you should accept sooner rather than later, it'll be much easier on both of us."

"Well how the hell am I supposed to be this perfect husband that I promised you if I can't on occasion spoil you?" I could tell he was just trying to be playful but I also wanted to make sure he knew that I meant business.

"Well nobody's perfect Edward, so don't bother even trying because I won't accept anything. Are we clear?"

"Crystal." I rolled my eyes at him only causing him to chuckle harder than he already was. He led me down the hall to the bedroom and showed me what would be my side of the massive walk in closet.

His home was a fairly large house but was technically only 2.5 bedrooms as the smallest one was fairly small and was used as his office/library space, the second bedroom was his music room and then there was the master bedroom which was huge. It was easily the largest room in the house.

He had explained before I left last night that we'd be sharing his room as he wouldn't want to have to explain to his parents why his wife needed her own room, plus he had no intention of losing his music room to make room for me. He didn't know how much he was going to tell his parents as it would break his mom's heart that he was basically paying me to be his wife.

"I feel I must tell you though my brother , Jasper, is an attorney and I have had to discuss our…circumstances with him. Other than that no one else knows, and it will be kept in confidence I can promise you that."

"Ok."

There wasn't much else I could say. I hated anyone knowing that my marriage was a sham, the only thing I hated more was knowing what people would say if the real reason I married Edward ever came out, or worse that I gave myself to him, physically as well. God, what would he do if he knew the truth?

He also promised that he would not lay a finger on me without my permission that we'd be sharing the room but with no expectations. Little did he know that I did have expectations of my own, I wasn't going to stay married to a an exceedingly handsome god and not make use of his skills for the next six months.

He gave me the grand tour, laying down a few rules as we went.

"This is my personal office as well as library, your welcome to have a look at the books and read what you wish but I'd prefer you not linger in here. Don't touch anything but the books, understood?"

I nodded, wondering what the hell happened to the friendly guy with the sense of humour that had greeted me when I arrived. Twenty minutes in and his mood swings were giving me whiplash.

"And this" He said as he opened the door across the hall. "is _MY_ music room, it's where I relax and it's private. Unless you play the piano yourself, you have no reason to be in here." _Definitely a territorial control freak._

He gave me a pointed look and I knew he was dead serious and not to overstep my welcome in his home. I rolled my eyes and simply nodded again. He's such an ass.

"The rest of the house is open to you, go where you want, when you want. There's a bathroom here and one in the master bedroom, you'll probably prefer the jacuzzi tub in the master bathroom. It's quite relaxing, very helpful with aches, pains or if your just feeling a little tense." He didn't have much else to say and soon after left me to continue getting settled in.

I was just finishing up putting away the last of my clothes when Edward stepped into the bedroom.

"Did you feel like heading out for that coffee now, Bel-umph" He was asking me as I turned around not expecting him to be quite so close. Our bodies forcefully collided with one another, and I was so fucking happy to once again feel that familiar hum between us as his hands made contact with the bare skin of my arms.

For the life of me, I had no idea what that feeling was. I wish that I could understand what it was that would flow between us as we touched. I was certain that he could feel it too, neither one of us pulled away, choosing to hold on to whatever the feeling was.

I craned my neck looking up, up and up again, jesus he was tall. While he gazed down at me. The sexual tension between the two of us was palpable.

I watched frozen in place as his face was slowly inching toward my own and I felt my eyes flutter closed only seconds before his lips were on mine. He tasted sweet, a mixture of mint, scotch and something else, something unique and distinctly Edward.

He was still a stranger to me, yet I felt like I knew him entirely. Regardless of how I found myself here, with him. It simply felt right, he felt right, we felt right. His kiss was soft and almost chaste, nothing like what I could vaguely recall from our wedding night. I could feel his restraint as he fought to remain in control of himself.

I wanted him to lose control, I wanted to be able to remember everything this time, remember as he lost himself in me, his touch, every second of every moment that he brought my body pleasure. I deepened the kiss knowing he was on the edge, he didn't disappoint, he lost the battle with himself the moment my tongue gently grazed his lower lip.

He groaned as his tongue swiftly entered my mouth and I all too soon lost all control of the situation as he took over. Using the length of his body, he pushed me back against the closet door, his erection grinding against me. His hands explored my body as mine hungrily tore at the buttons of his shirt, I needed to feel him bare. Edwards naked torso and back was just as gorgeous as I'd remembered, even through the drunken haze that was our first encounter.

He roughly palmed my now dripping center, I blushed knowing that even through both my panties and slacks he could feel how wet I truly was. As if he read my mind he whispered against the sensitive skin below my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"So wet" He groaned "Is this what I do to you, Bella? Is this for me, am I the reason you are so fucking wet?" I think I came right then and there, not necessarily an orgasm but I felt the fluids leave my body as he spoke.

He slid my pants down my legs and I kicked them aside, my panties were instantly ripped from my body and I couldn't have cared less that they were brand new. All I could think about was how much I needed him to touch me, now!

"My beautiful, Bella" he whispered as his hand reached down gently rubbing my throbbing bundle of nerves. I gasped and let my head fall back resting against the door as I felt him slip a finger inside of me, his thumb continuing to rub small circles around my aching nub.

My hands clumsily managed to get his belt and slacks undone and I wasted no time as I frantically plunged my hand into pants. He hissed against my lips as I grasped his perfect hard as fuck cock.

'Bless me father, for I have fucking sinned' was my only thought as my hand came into contact with his magnificent appendage, he was truly perfect, long and thick, and smooth as silk. I was most definitely going to hell after all this, I knew I had no right to be enjoying myself so thoroughly considering what I've done to get here.

"Oh, God! Edward, don't stop." I whimpered as his touch became more frenzied. I could feel the intense burn starting in my belly, I was so close. My hand began pumping his hard length at a quick and steady pace, his pre-cum allowing for slick movement.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to." He growled. "Oh god, Bella...your so fucking perfect." The sound of his voice indicated that he was just as close to a blissful release as I was.

His movements intensified and his long, agile fingers thrusting in and out of me sped up as we grew closer to our mutual release. I moaned loudly, thrusting my hips against his hand.

"Fuck Bella, I'm going to cum," he said desperately.

Six little words, that was all it took for me to become so shockingly brazen. I wanted, no, needed him to be in me when he came. In a matter of seconds I had managed to pull his hand away from me, effectively removing his fingers from inside of me as I shifted my hips and gently brought his throbbing erection to my entrance. "I need you… here." My tone was not far off of begging but I couldn't bring myself to give a shit.

I whimpered as he brought his fingers that had been embedded in me to his lips and proceeded to lick them clean, his eyes never left mine. They were dark, and lust filled. He groaned as he tasted me, his hands tightly grasped my ass lifting me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he thrust into me and I was once again in heaven.

"You're absolutely delicious" His voice was raspy and I had never wanted another living being so much as this man, in this moment.

"Oh, God!" I cried and grasped his shoulders.

"God, can not help you now, Bella." He hissed and I knew he was so, so close. I ran my fingers through his hair and yanked his face back to mine, sucking his tongue into my mouth. His thrusts were frantic and the familiar burning sensation was back in full force, my stomach tightened and the coil within expanded ever so slowly before finally giving way to the most intense orgasm I had ever experienced.

"Fuck, fuck, shit, oh fuck, Edward…ugh…please, oh god, please!" I was begging, for what exactly I had no clue. I could feel myself clenching around Edwards cock and his body began to tremble slightly as he drove into me over and over again. I was so tight around him that I could feel every twitch, every pulse against my inner walls as he released forcefully inside of me.

"Fuck, Bella." He grunted as we slid down the door still very much joined at the hips, he slowly lowered us both to the floor. He pulled out of me and rolled to the side, panting heavily. It took a few moments before we were both able to finally catch our breath.

"I'm sorry… that should not have happened, Bella." _What? What the hell is that supposed to mean, I have the best orgasm of my life and he says it should not have happened. _

"Excuse me?"

"Protection, we should have used protection. I don't know what the hell happened there, I've never gone bareback a day in my life." _Oh fuck! I had gone on the pill the week before Vegas, once we knew that I was actually going to move forward with 'The Plan' and that was close to a month ago. Technically I was still not 'safe' until I started my second package but I was due anytime, so I'm fairly confident that we're safe. _

"I'm on the pill." I blurted without thought. "And obviously I'm safe, considering I've never been with anyone but you." I saw a flicker of something flash through his eyes as I spoke but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

"Well, like I said. I've never not used a condom, so I'm fairly certain that I am as well." It didn't surprise me that he never bothered to admit to the number of women he had been with. Hell, he probably has no idea. Yes, that fact disgusted me but it wouldn't change anything, especially after what just transpired between the two of us. I was even more set now on maintaining a very physical relationship with _my husband_. My inner 'jezabel' cackled to herself, extremely proud of her accomplishment. She had brought Edward Cullen, man-whore extraordinaire to his knees.

I took in my surroundings realizing that I was lying on the floor, half naked, half in and half out of the walk- in closet. Welcome to your new home, Bella Swan…hmm or should I say Bella Cullen.

I sat up and reached for my pants lying at my feet, Edward was doing the same and hadn't said anything else after his declaration of being 'clean'. Only he was actually naked as I had needed to see and feel his very well defined torso, he was fuckhot, and for the time being he was mine.

"It's late. " Edward said on his way out of the closet. " I have a long day tomorrow, so I think we should skip the trip to Starbucks. I have a business dinner tomorrow night, Mr. Black always brings his wife so I think you should come."

He wasn't asking, that was clear. I guess this was one of the functions he was referring to me attending in our little arrangement. He was being a little cold at the moment, I think I really took Mr. Cullen off guard and he very obviously isn't use to that.

I really hope he isn't going to always be this way after sex. He certainly wasn't in Vegas, I distinctly remember cuddling after. Not that I expect him to snuggle up in bed with me and profess his undying love, but he doesn't need to be an ass about it.

After a quick shower, I threw on a tank top and a pair of boy shorts. They were actually a matching sleepwear set, although probably a little more alluring than my usual choices. I climbed into bed and whispered 'Goodnight' to Edward, he hadn't heard me of course since he had yet to return to the bedroom.

I woke in the morning finding my pillow to be quite a bit firmer and warmer than I remember it being when I had climbed in bed. It didn't take me long to register that I was actually lying across Edwards chest with one arm draped lazily over his shoulder while he had one arm tucked up behind his head and the other held me snugly against his torso as his strong hand gripped my hip.

I shifted myself trying to sneak away from him but my movements only caused him to roll to his side pulling me closer with my face buried in the crook of his neck. God he smelled divine! I felt his hand skim down my thigh and grip behind my knee as he pulled it up and over his hip. I think I may have whimpered as my now wet sex came into contact with what was obviously his morning wood.

It was only a matter of moments before his alarm finally went off and I felt him stiffen briefly as he took in how we were wrapped around each other. "Good morning" he grumbled, his voice husky from sleep.

"Morning" I whispered, barely able to find my own voice.

He rolled back towards his side of the bed, effectively releasing me from his hold. My body felt the loss, even more so when he climbed out of the bed and strolled across the room to the bathroom. Even in his black sleep pants he was sexy.

I made my way to the kitchen and searched throught the cupboards until I found the coffee, I was in desperate need of some caffeine. Edward entered the kitchen, paper in hand just as I was finishing my first cup.

"Coffee?" I asked.

"Umm…sure" He answered not even looking up from his paper. "Just a touch of cream, please." He added.

I went about making myself another cup and one for him, all the while wondering what the hell his problem was. I've always been stubborn and knew that I wouldn't let it go so I decided to just ask him.

"Are we ok, Edward? You've been…I don't know, off maybe?" I asked as I placed his coffee in front of him.

"I'm fine, Bella. We're fine." He wasn't very convincing, his tone was definitely saying different.

"No, I don't think so. Is this about the condom issue? That's the only thing I can think of. Unless it's because we had… sex, I hope you don't think that I think it changes anything between us. I know that it doesn't, Edward we have an arrangement and besides, you were the first one to say that you'd be agreeable under the circumstances." We were both quiet for a moment.

"Look, Bella, it's not about the sex. Believe me, I am more than happy to continue in that aspect. What I told you last night is the truth though, I've never not used one. I'm not mad at you if that's what you think, but I do feel a little… off as you said, about the fact that I never gave it any thought. Don't get me wrong, it was amazing. I can now tell you that there is a difference, a big difference in how it feels but we hadn't even discussed birth control."

I could tell he was struggling with what had happened and I prayed that it would not affect anything between us, in the bedroom. We were too compatible to not continue a sexual relationship with each other.

"There's something about you, that makes me… not me and I can't figure it out. First Vegas and now this." I knew what he meant by Vegas, he married me and Edward Cullen was not the marrying kind. I felt bad seeing how far off his game it had appeared I'd thrown him. "Let's just move passed it, I'm fine, I'll get over it. I promise to be on my best behaviour at dinner tonight. I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable."

"Don't worry about it, apology accepted. But you know, Edward, it doesn't matter that we're not your typical married couple. If this is going to work for the time being, we have to communicate, to a certain extent anyway. I know you'll keep some things from me, since your not committed to me as a… traditional husband would be. Just try to be open with me when it matters, ok?"

"Ok, but I really do have to go now, I'll be home around five. Oh, I uh… noticed a blue dress in the closet this morning that would be perfect for dinner, unless you have something else in mind. Whatever you want is fine, just try to keep it on the dessy side."

"That's fine, I'll wear that. What time do I need to be ready?"

"Dinner's at 7:00, so 6:30ish should be fine." He said and ruffled my hair as he walked passed me to leave. It wasn't a kiss but at least it was something, I was just glad he wasn't being cold towards me anymore.

**A/N: I know I said that Edward would only be popping up here and there to have his say, but it feels important to let him have his say after this chapter. So, Edward POV up next!**

**A/N: All characters belong to SM.**


	5. Ch 5 Meeting Mrs Cullen

**Edward POV: **

Bella had shown up with much less than I had expected her to, clothes wise. I found myself joking with her about it and about the type of husband I intended to be and before long I was cursing myself. Wondering what the fuck was up with me?

I am not husband material, marriage is something that I had no intention of being a part of. Just joking about it with her made me uneasy, I could never be that guy. The one that would spoil her, make her feel special, feel as beautiful as she is, love her.

Well shit, where the fuck were these thoughts coming from? It was the last thought that had irked me… what the hell do I know about love? Sure I love my mother, well I guess in reality I love my entire family but that's I different love, even I knew that. I felt the need to pull back from her, at this point I wasn't even sure if it would be wise to involve a sexual relationship in our arrangement. And I really did want to fuck that… again.

The tour of the house quickly turned into a this is this is my room, stay out but feel free to roam about the rest of the house. I was no longer feeling hospitable, I just needed to get away from her for a bit. Calm down and gather my thoughts.

I left her to get herself settled and get my wits about me. I shouldn't be so affected by one woman, hell I'd been with so many and not one had left me reeling. Until her. In reality she should be on the list of women I'd been with that I could not for the life of me even remember their names, we'd hooked up in Vegas for fuck sakes. It should have been a quick fuck, wham, bam, thank you ma'am, now get the fuck out.

Don't get me wrong I never actually said anything of the sort and they almost always left believing that just maybe they might see me again, although it was always clear that I was not the relationship type. I didn't lead them on in that way, or in any way for that matter. I just didn't let them walk away feeling like they had just been thoroughly used, which they had. Now thoroughly fucked, yes they did walk away knowing that they had. I did nothing half way.

Apparently not until now, that is. No, not even now. I argued with myself, I can handle her, she's a shy timid girl for fuck sakes. She is also my wife, regardless of how much that statement is just simply wrong. It is what it is and I promised myself that this little mishap (referred to as a marriage) would not be the first thing in my life that I did half way.

Who was I kidding anyway, I 'd promised that neither of us would be having sex outside of our marriage and I'd never gone more than a few weeks at a time. Six fucking months was entirely not doable. So, I came to the conclusion that yes, I would fuck my wife.

I felt a little better at the moment and headed back to see if she still wanted to go for coffee. We weren't guaranteed to be seen out but hell, I rarely left my house for personal reasons without being noticed. We'd been married for three weeks, and people were starting to talk. I hadn't officially confirmed the marriage but now that we were at this point and she was sticking around for a while, I was going to release a statement this week.

I didn't notice her in the bedroom initially but the closet door was open and I could hear movement so I called out to her. I had just turned into the closet when I smacked right into Bella.

"Did you feel like heading out for that coffee now, Bel-umph"

Jesus christ, it looked as though she was going to fall backwards so I quickly grasped her arms. That is when it all came rushing back to me, somehow I had managed to forget the tingling sensation that ran through my body as we touched. There was so much electricity coursing through me, I felt as though I were vibrating.

I looked down at her, she was staring back at me and our eyes locked on each other. I wanted to look away, I tried to pull my eyes away. I felt like I was in a trance, like I was outside watching myself. It was like watching a train wreck, your horrified, you know you should look away but you just can't.

I could feel myself as I involuntarily slowly leaned into her, her eyes closed and seconds later I kissed her, I kissed my wife. My need to pull back had returned, this was too much, something was…wrong. My heart was pounding, my stomach ached, my body felt like a live fucking wire and my dick was throbbing.

Yea, I would say that this, was a little too fucking much. I honestly couldn't say how many women I'd been intimate with in one form or another but I knew for a fact that I'd never felt like this, not in my life.

What the fuck was this woman doing to me? I was at war with myself internally, seriously rethinking my decision in believing that I could maintain a physical relationship with her, and nothing else. My mind was in limbo, part of me in desperate need of retreating while the other part of me was fiercely wanting more.

And then the unthinkable happened, my shy, timid wife upped her fucking game. A game I am sure that she has no idea she's been pulled into, but a game nonetheless. This was supposed to me my game, my rules and the moment that her sweet little tongue jutted out and swept across my lips I was fucking done for.

She tasted fantastic, and I couldn't help but think that I wanted to taste her in other ways. Even that surprised me, not that it's something I don't do because I do but I have to really be in the mood so to speak. It usually depends on the quality of blow job I receive, there are very few women capable of giving phenomenal head, which is a requirement.

Yet here I am engaged in a simple kiss and I want to taste her, it was the same in Vegas. I can remember needing to tasting her, I can remember actually tasting her, but not what she tasted of. I know that I enjoyed it, immensely. I also know that she had not tasted me first, another broken rule.

I gave in, I wanted this too badly not to. She was so fucking wet and I was so close to sweet release and then she'd tore my hand away from her, I was stunned momentarily before realizing that she had lined me up at her entrance. Fuck! She wanted me to do just that, fuck her.

Bringing my fingers to my mouth I finally tasted her again, she was magnificent. Without a seconds thought I pushed into her, she was tight and wet. Neither of us was going to last very long, she came hard belting out a string of profanities as she did. She was dripping wet now and clamped down around my erection with a vice like grip, my release had been building with such an intensity that my entire body was vibrating, I was on fire, a few beads of sweat dripped down from my brow and I began to shake, my legs felt weak.

My body had never had this reaction before, never been so far gone that I lost every ounce of strength within me. I exploded violently into her while her walls continued to squeeze every last drop from my loins.

I no longer had the use of my motor skills, I couldn't stand much less support Bella. I couldn't even release my grip on her as we slid down the down the door. Once my fine motor skills kicked in and I could actually unclench my hands from her body I rolled over onto my back, panting like an out of shape geriatric that had just run a marathon. I seriously thought that I could easily have a fucking stroke right now.

It took a few moments to catch my breath and in that time a million different thoughts ran through my mind. First and foremost the fact that I had just had what was literally my first ever encounter with a woman not sheathed in a condom, granted it had been the most amazing feeling to have no barrier between us, but we'd yet to even discuss birth control. What angered me most was that it hadn't been my choice, I wasn't in my right mind, I couldn't think clearly around her. I had been unable to form coherent thought enough to have a choice in the matter.

Who was this woman and what the fuck was she doing to me? What was this hold she somehow has over me? A hold that has left an intelligent, educated and extremely successful business man, in such a rash and uncontrollable mindset.

What is it about her that has me taking part in so many firsts, doing things like marrying, a complete stranger at that and now sex without my own protection. That was a rule never broken, I wasn't interested in bringing a child into this world, in being tied to someone in that way. I was also certainly not interested in bringing a child into this marriage, that was the last thing we needed.

My mind was still reeling from all my thoughts, that once we'd had the birth control discussion I'd dressed and left the room. Opting to spend a few hours in my music room before turning in for the night. It was a relief that Bella seemed to take the initiative to end the awkwardness between us in the morning, that was also something that we did not need in our lives. Circumstances were difficult enough between us with the added tension.

My day went by without any problems, despite the not so great start I'd had. It was close to 3:00 when Tanya called through on the intercom.

"Mr. Cullen, your um… wife is on line one." She sounded surprised? As she spoke, almost as though she had been expecting to find out that I really didn't have a wife.

"Ok, I'll take it. No interruptions please." I responded after a moments hesitation.

"Bella, is everything ok?"

"Yes" She laughed a little. " I just didn't want you to think that I had forgotten about dinner tonight, but I'm running a little late and won't be there when you get… home."

"Ok, did you not have class today?"

"I only have morning classes on Tuesday's and Thursday's. I can't believe I'll be done with it all in just a couple of weeks, but anyway I'm at the salon and then I have an errand to run. We'll be good for time though, I'll only have to throw on my dress and shoes when I get in."

"Great, thanks for letting me know."

"Your welcome, I'll see you when I get in."

I was in fact home before Bella just as she had said I would be. It was still early enough that I could shower, even though it wasn't necessary. I was nervous about dinner, I had originally wanted our first outing to be on our own but I have learned in life that you can't always have things the way you want them. Even if you are Edward Cullen.

It was close to 6:00 when I stepped out of the bathroom, I'd messed with my hair long enough. There really was no fixing it and I needed to get dressed for the evening. I was standing naked, retrieving a pair of boxers out of my drawer when I heard a gasp behind me.

"Oh… I'm so sorry, Edward, I didn't know you would be… not dressed." Her face was flushed as she blushed profusely. I am assuming in her embarrassment she was unaware of her own state of undress, and I was growing hard… quickly.

"It's ok, I think you've seen it all, Bella, but you ah, your not dressed either." She was standing in front of me in the tiniest of smoky gray panties and bra, her pebbled nipples very clearly prominent, and last but certainly not least thigh high stockings.

"Oh my God, your right." Was all she said as she quickly walked over to the bed where the blue dress was laid out. I knew it was going to be a long night when she slid her arms into the dress and I noticed that it was wide open in the front. I stood naked, hard, boxers in hand watching as she tucked one side in, draping it across her flat stomach fastening one single hook at her hip. She then pulled the other side over and tied the belt just above her waist.

I closed my eyes for a moment knowing that one little tug on that belt would pretty much have her displayed in front of me. I would have to look at her all evening as either side of the dress crossed over her breasts, and they looked entirely too beautiful as they were tastefully on display for me.

"Edward" I opened my eyes to see Bella standing in front of me, smirking. "We're going to be late, unless you're planning to attend dinner this way." She stated motioning to my bare body.

"No, just give me a minute." I told her, my voice husky as I willed my erection to go down immediately.

Thankfully we were not late arriving at the restaurant, I had been attempting to settle my dealings with Jacob Black for a while now. Something was holding him back from signing with my company and I was hoping to put an end to it tonight.

"Good evening, we have reservations for four under Cullen this evening." I told the hostess.

"Certainly, you dinner companions are already seated. Right this way sir." She said smiling, and very blatantly eye fucking me. I looked to Bella and knew that she had also noticed, I gave her a small smile and placed my hand on the small of her back. Even that sent a strange sensation up my arm. I really had to get a handle on these… issues I was having.

I thanked the hostess and moved to pull out Bella's chair for her as I introduced her to the Black's. I nodded in his direction before speaking.

" Bella, this is Jacob Black and his wife, Nessie. Jacob, Nessie I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Bella." It was a mouthful but I managed to spit it out. We had taken our seats and I'd just taken a quick drink from the glass of water in front of me, as the ladies were saying a quick hello. My throat was fucking dry.

"It's lovely to make your acquaintance Mrs. Cullen, I was quite surprised to learn that Edward had married." My eyes grew wide and I had damn near choked on my water when he referred to Bella as Mrs. Cullen, I guess it makes sense but I hadn't given it any thought up until now. Mrs. Cullen. Mrs. Bella Cullen, somehow it fit. I quickly pulled myself together and joined the ongoing conversation.

Dinner was great, Bella wowed the Black's and I'm pretty sure that she played a part in my finally landing the contract with the Black's family business. I took care of the check and the hostess that had accosted me on my way to the bathroom earlier. I told her I was happily married and simply not interested, the scary part of that being when I realized that part of me actually meant what I said. I'd have to revisit that at a later time.

****************

The following few weeks flew by pretty quickly, Bella and I had fallen into a comfortable routine. We had dinner with my parents a couple of times, they of course loved her. Emmett had become insanely protective of her and was even coming by a little more often than he use to. Alice and Bella had also struck up a pretty close relationship, close enough that I felt the need to remind Jasper that he needed to protect my privacy as my attorney. Alice was not to be told of my arrangement with Bella, unless Bella chose to tell her herself.

Our physical relationship had also continued rather regularly, the only change being that I'd not allowed myself to make the same mistake. Condoms were always involved. I wasn't risking a pregnancy, I had voiced my rather strong opinion on that matter and thankfully Bella had agreed with me.

The last few days she had been a little off, she seemed tense and I truly wanted to help her relax. I ran a hot bath for her, even adding her favourite scented bath product to the tub and flicked on the jets..

"Bella" I called out to her as sat on the edge of the tub.

She poked her head in the door a moment later and smiled at me, it wasn't her usual smile though. It didn't reach her eyes which had been the case for the last few days.

"Oh, are you taking a quick bath before bed, Edward?"

"No, this is for you. Your tense. I want you to relax for a bit." I told her as I stood and pulled her to me. I placed a light kiss on her lips and gestured for her to raise her arms as I pulled her tank top over her head.

Many of these 'new' actions I was taking regarding Bella were still throwing me off, like that small kiss. I had done it without thought, nor was I after anything. I just wanted her to relax in the tub, alone.

I divested her of the rest of her clothes and gently picked her up placing her in the tub.

"Aren't you joining me she asked, shyly." As I turned to exit the bathroom.

"No, this one's just for you, enjoy it, relax. You deserve it."

I knew she was having the same thoughts as me, or at least similar when she asked if I was joining her. I had run a bath on the weekend that we both enjoyed immensely, together. That had been another first for me and I had even instigated it. I felt like I was turning into a fucking girl, sharing baths, cuddling in bed, saying sweet things to her, doing sweet things for her. It wasn't the fact that these things were happening that made me feel that way, but how much I actually wanted to do them and the thought I would put into doing them.

The dinner meeting had made it into the media and it was being reported that my wife and I had finally stepped out together. We were doing so again this evening, only this time I didn't care who saw us, or reported about it. I just wanted to take Bella out for a nice evening, she's gone out of her way to make this a positive experience for me. So much so that I was beginning to wonder how on earth I was going to be able to let her go in the end…

**A/N: Sorry, I guess this was kind of a filler chapter. I don't normally go back over so much of a previous chapter but I thought we needed to see what was running through Edwards mind during their first night. Next up, back to Bella POV and their evening together.**

**A/N: All characters belong to S.M.**


	6. Ch 6 Worst Fears

**Bella POV: Ch 6 Worst Fears**

The next couple of weeks continued on without incident we were both busy, Edward with work and me with school and my couple of shifts per week at the book store, which I had just given my notice to as I didn't need to work right now. Edward had also asked me about leaving my job, mentioning something about the fact that it really didn't make sense that his wife would hold a part time job in a book store. He was nice about it of course, saying that he obviously couldn't force me to and if I was truly passionate about it, then he could live with it.

We tended to take turns with dinner, and Edward had done both of our laundry while I worked in the evening. I felt a little weird about that the first time I came home and realised that he had washed, dried and folded the bra and panties I had purchased hoping to catch his eye.

As normal as our every day lives might seem to some, there were still days that I walked a tight rope where Edward was concerned. Going quite easily from wanting to throttle him one minute to wanting to land a big, sloppy wet one on his pouty lips. I guess that this was normal behaviour for a married couple, sometimes it truly does feel like we've forgotten that we intend to separate eventually. We are after all only playing house.

Edward definitely is a very proud man, so proud that his personality often borders on arrogance. I can't handle him on those days, nor on the days when he shuts me out. He has always been a private man from what I've learned and although it has only been a few short weeks, I've grown attached. Therefore, my feelings end up actually getting hurt when he keeps things from me, or won't talk to me about what is bothering him when he obviously has had a bad day.

He is an enigma to me, he can be the sweetest kindest man I have ever met, he can be cold and distant, or a cocky, arrogant ass that makes you feel like it should be an honour to have him grace you with his presence. Today he is being sweet and kind.

We are going out for lunch, just the two of us this time. I am really looking forward to spending a little time with Edward, out of the house for a bit.

He took me to La Bella Italia, an Italian restaurant around the corner that he said was one of his favourite places to eat. He initially wanted to take me for dinner but decided on lunch instead, stating that he wanted to stay in for the evening. When we entered the hostess immediately greeted him.

"Good afternoon Mr. Cullen." She beamed at him, I didn't miss the fact that she was trying her best to push her breasts out at him and completely ignored that his hand was attached to mine.

When I looked back at Edward he didn't seem to even notice her, he winked at me again before turning back to her.

"Good afternoon, I'd like a table in the back please. My wife and I would like some privacy if possible.

I couldn't help but smile as her facial expression registered what he had just said I knew he seemed oblivious to the way she looked at him, he only seemed to have eyes for me tonight. Which was a pleasant surprise.

We made easy conversation over lunch as usual and every once in a while he would take my hand in his rubbing small circles on the palm of mine. Our waitress was a girl named Jessica who had practically offered to service Edward by the time we finished our meal and again he didn't even seem to notice. I would not have been surprised if she had been willing to take him in the back with me sitting right here, god she was a slut.

Yes, I was jealous as shit and didn't exactly know why. I mean yes I am attracted to him, married to him but I also know that our marriage is basically a sham to him and shouldn't be affected by this…but I was.

Thankfully we left the restaurant and he took me down the street to the Chicago Museum Of Contemporary Art. As we strolled through he pointed out some of his favourite pieces as did I, only I have no idea about what really is a great piece of art my preferences were just images that caught my attention.

He offered to take me anywhere I might want to go but I was feeling tired again and just wanted to return home and take a short nap before dinner. I was surprised when he agreed and climbed in behind me. I woke an hour or so later to find Edward spooning me, he had his arms wrapped tightly around me holding my back firmly against his chest. I had to admit that I liked the feeling of our bodies being pressed together, I had really gotten used to it so much so that I didn't try to adjust myself I simply closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep again.

When I woke next, Edward was no longer in bed with me and I could smell something mouth watering being prepared. I grabbed a shower, pulled my hair back, threw on some sweats and went to find Edward.

"Something smells delicious out here."

"Oh hey sleepy head, you must have been beat you slept for hours."

"Yeah, what time did you get up?"

"Around six I think. I started dinner and then jumped in the shower. I just made Broccoli and Chicken Alfedo I hope that's ok.

"I'm sure it'll be great, it smells wonderful."

"Thank you. Oh I should mention that I have to go out of town Monday, I have some business to take care of in Cleveland. I should be back Wednesday."

"Oh, ok. Well thanks for letting me know." I was disappointed that he wouldn't be here. I've gotten use to having him around, but maybe it'll give me the time I need to figure shit out.

Dinner was wonderful just as I'd expected. The rest of the week had gone by much the same only I had went ahead and prepared dinner on a couple of evenings and we had still found ourselves wrapped up in each others arms every morning.

I had had lunch with Rose a couple of times and she was just as surprised as I had been that everything just happened to fall into place and Edward and I were getting along great. She did give me a strange look when I told her that Edward had pretty much bathed me last night and didn't want anything in return. I had left her promising to see more of her, I felt bad that I had been neglecting her since moving in with Edward. Not quite bad enough to regret wanting to return home to him, and what I knew the evening would hold once again.

I was glad that we had continued the physical part of our relationship, we are great together in and out of the bedroom. I couldn't help but think back to many of our little trysts that had taken place over the past couple of weeks, Edward seemed to have a fondness for the kitchen recently.

The first time had been when I had stayed home feeling ill that morning, by noon I was feeling more myself and gotten out of bed to make a quick lunch. Edward was at work so I hadn't bothered to throw anything over my boy shorts and cami, I had just finishing tidying up and was bent over putting the last dish away when a hand was suddenly thrust in front of my face and quickly clamped down over my mouth.

The room was silent other than the distinct sound of a zipper being lowered then my panties were torn from my body, he was like an animal, I had never felt anything so primal, so dominating from Edward. He shoved my upper body down against the counter top while spreading my legs with one of his own before thrusting deep and hard within me. We were both brought to completion in minutes, it was just too intense not to be. I had been so enthralled by the thought of playing the prey to his predator, his hand clasped over my mouth the entire time it was… exhilarating.

Of course I knew it had been him, his taste, his scent and that familiar jolt that always shot through my body had been present instantly. It didn't matter that I'd not heard him enter the house nor seen his face, he hadn't even uttered a word until the whispered 'fuck' that had escaped his lips as he collapsed over my body. Two of his chairs and the far wall had been well used at one time or another after that day.

We had obviously become quite comfortable with one another and Edward wasn't shy about pulling me into his arms anymore when we climbed into bed at night, he said that he didn't see any reason to prolong the inevitable since we always find ourselves cuddled up anyway.

We were lying in bed watching a movie, it was a Friday night and I was just happy to have the weekend off. I was again tired, I had been quite often lately and my back was killing me, I shifted in Edwards arms and groaned at the pain in my lower back.

"What's wrong love?" Edward had asked and I was momentarily shocked and therefore didn't respond right away, I was busy trying to figure out when he had taken to calling me 'love'. I knew it had not really occurred to me before now but somehow knew that he had been calling me that all week, I don't think he was even aware of it.

"Bella, love?"

"Oh sorry, it's nothing just my back's bothering me for some reason. It's not too bad or anything I think I just slept wrong or something."

I knew it wasn't that, his bed was the most comfortable bed I'd ever slept in. I was just simply stressed beyond belief, I had come to the realization a few days ago while in the personal hygiene section at the supermarket that I may have a problem.

I didn't even want to consider it but still found myself discreetly slipping a pregnancy test into the shopping cart. I groaned thinking that the last thing I needed was to be pregnant, shit I hadn't even dealt with my father's debt. I really needed to discuss getting some of the money from Edward, I had intended to wait until we had passed the half way point as that still left me a little time before the 'deadline'. At this point I didn't know if I could wait that long, I really felt the need to have at least one issue out of the way.

I knew I wasn't ready to tell Edward that we must not have been safe in Vegas, I was almost positive that's when it happened. The 'closet incident' as we refer to it was just too close to my cycle for it to have happened then. Doing the math I quickly realized that I would have to be around six weeks.

He gently pulled me away from him, and I immediately missed the closeness of him. "Take this off and lay down on your stomach." He said pulling at the hem of my night gown.

"Don't give me that look Bella I'm just going to massage your back, that's all. I'll be right back." He said as he lightly smacked my bottom. I pulled my nightie over my head and tossed it on the floor.

He returned a few minutes later with a small bottle of what looked like massage oil.

"You'll have to thank Alice for this later she had assumed that my home would be lacking many things that we'd require as a um…married couple. You don't even want to know what else came in that gift basket." He said laughing.

I couldn't help but laugh with him, I really could only imagine knowing Alice, it wouldn't surprise me if her little basket included some… toys. I had met all his family numerous times over the past several weeks and they were all great but she was a real spit fire. She was convinced that Edward and I were meant for each other and it was one of the first things she had said to me. Only she wasn't aware of the truth behind our marriage, hell Edward wasn't even aware of the truth behind our marriage.

I had laid back down on my stomach with my head resting in my arms, and the blanket pulled up over myself . I felt as Edward climbed onto the bed and up my body straddling my legs. I had forgotten that he had climbed into bed in his boxers only until I felt his bare leg graze my own where the blanket had shifted no longer covering my leg, and I swear that my heart literally skipped a beat. The current that would run through my body was just as evident today as the first time we touched.

I jumped slightly when I felt the oil first hit my skin and felt the warming sensation almost immediately as he started to massage it into my back. I felt my body tense as he unexpectedly leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"Where does it hurt, love?"

"I, um…mmy lower bback mostly." I stammered.

He began by lightly stroking my back with the tips of his fingers using only light, teasing strokes for the first few moments and I groaned internally feeling the wetness pool between my legs at his simple touch.

"How does this feel, love? Are you feeling better, more relaxed?"

"Mmmhmm….yes. It feels really good." I whispered.

His hands never left my body constantly keeping contact as he began massaging slowly, taking his time with each rhythmic yet sensitive brush of my skin. Changing from long, deep, and gliding strokes to shorter, deeper strokes. Small moans were escaping my lips and I could do nothing to stop them because this just felt too fucking good.

"Feel good, baby?" He groaned and I knew he was also being affected by what he was doing for me.

"Mmmm…yes, god yes."

He moved up to my shoulders, and down my arms before I felt his fingers gently glide down my sides, the blanket shifted before it disappeared from my body and I couldn't bring myself to care that I was now lying here under Edward in nothing but my panties as he caressed my body.

His long, thin, strong fingers made their way squeezing, lightly stroking down my thighs and calves then back up again his hands gently gliding up and over my backside. I swear I very nearly came at that precise moment.

I felt the shift in the bed as he brought himself further up my body unsure what I should do. Lie still, turn over, press my body back against him…fuck! Then suddenly his lips were ghosting over the skin of my shoulder and he quietly moaned into my ear as I felt his erection graze my backside. He'd made the decision for me.

I moaned out his name. "Mmm…Edward"

He lifted off of me rolling to my side and burying his face in my neck before I heard him whisper softly. "I'm sorry, I really only meant for you to relax. Go ahead and get some sleep, love."

I swiftly flipped over fisting his beautiful, silky smooth hair in my hands and practically growled at him. "No! Don't you dare fucking stop now, Edward!"

It took him all of about two seconds to read the look in my eyes and know that I meant it. "Fuck, Bella." He moaned into my mouth as our lips crashed together and I lost all sense of thought as we lost ourselves in each other.

His hands were everywhere, all over my body, stroking, caressing, squeezing and even pinching as he rolled my nipple between two fingers. His other hand snaked down between my legs and dipped under my panties stroking my folds from top to bottom before two agile fingers instantly entered me pumping rigorously.

"Oh god….fuck Baby, your so fucking wet…I want you Bella. Fuck, I want you." He whispered reverently.

My panties were torn from me as he spoke those last words and I pushed him back by his chest until he was on his back. His eyes were dark and wild as he gazed at me while I straddled his hips kissing my way down his chest. His erection brushed against my wet folds as I made way down his body, I wanted to taste him right now.

I wrapped my lips around his thick pulsating cock dragging my tongue up his shaft and sucking his juices off the tip of his thick rounded head.

"Jesus, fuck! Fuck Bella! I need…I need…fuck! I need to taste you too!" He yelled out as he pulled me up his body hitching his hand around my thigh and yanking my lower body towards his head. He was guiding my now dripping wet center to hover over his face.

I knew exactly what he was wanting, I positioned myself over his face and he immediately sucked my clit in between his teeth as I leaned forward and took his rock hard throbbing member back into my mouth. We licked and sucked and fucked each other with our mouths into a frenzied state.

I reached down squeezing at his balls and his pelvis shot up off the bed his juices continued to slowly seep from his body as I lapped them up. His tongue picked up it's pace jumping back and forth like a hungry animal from licking and nipping at my throbbing clit to pumping in and out of me, I could feel my juices spilling into his mouth, down his face, my thighs, everywhere. I was so fucking turned on by this man, this god!

My body instinctively stilled at the feel of soft pressure at my other hole. "Relax baby, let go." My hips began to slowly grind against his face as they had been and I couldn't believe the increased sensation that his action was causing. I ground harder against his mouth as I sucked and licked at him with everything I had.

My heart was beating at an insane rate, I could barely catch my breath, every muscle in my body was tightening, my breasts were swelling and my nipples hard as a fucking rock and then out of nowhere it was like a coil had sprung or a dam broke. I exploded into his mouth screaming out his name as my body shook and stiffened all at once, I came and I fucking came all over again as Edward lapped up every last drop never stopping his finger from massaging my backside until my body stilled.

The second I felt my first orgasm turning into another my mouth began to work his throbbing cock like my life depended on it and he grunted loudly as he shot his hot seed down my throat. We both fell to our sides our bodies weak, his hand clasped onto my ass and he squeezed. "You, are fucking fantastic, I've never fucking cum like that in my life. I didn't think anything could compare to the first time here in the closet. I was wrong…" He panted and I laughed.

We lied still for a few moments just listening to one another's unsteady breathing, he rolled onto his back grabbing my hands to pull me upright and gently set me down straddling his groin. He ran his hands up and down my hips and thighs and whispered "Your fucking beautiful".

I leaned forward placing a kiss on his lips and he hardened again almost instantly as my wet folds rubbed up against his shaft. His hands stilled on my hips as he gently raised me placing himself at my entrance and slowly lowered me until he was deep inside of me.

I wouldn't realize until after the irony in the fact that he had once again foregone the use of a condom for the first time since the closet incident, on the very day that I had confirmed my worst fear… I was carrying his child.

We sat still, Edward buried in me as we watched each other intently. We slowly began to rock against each other and I whimpered from the friction the movement caused on my already too sensitive parts. It was slow and sensual, our eyes never leaving one another's, his hands caressing my thighs and mine resting on his.

He pulled himself up bringing his hands to my face and kissing me passionately before releasing my lips, he grasped my hips again and gently lifted me off of him turning me so I was on my knees, one to each side of his own and my back flush to his chest and brought me back down over his beautiful length again.

His face nuzzled into my neck as he kissed and nibbled at my ear while guiding my hips rhythmically up and down. I brought my arms up behind my head to bury my hands in his hair again, I maintained our slow, steady rhythm by slowly pushing up off of my knees and down again allowing Edward to release my hips. He brought one hand around to caress my stomach while the other pinched and pulled at my nipples.

"Jesus, baby….you…feel…mmm so fucking….oh god….fantastic…" He murmured into my ear as his hand found my clit and started rubbing slowly.

My heart was racing at his words I just kept thinking oh god yes, tell me this will happen every night, that I can feel like this every night and then all rational thought was lost again as I felt another orgasm building. I started rocking faster and harder and he brought his arm up across my chest pulling me tighter against him as we found our release together again, we both fell back against the bed, panting and in a tangled mess.

He pulled me tight against his chest as we settled into the bed as he kissed my temple, we lied still for a while, not a word was spoken. I was almost convinced that he had drifted off when I heard him whisper into my hair, his voice sounding gruff and unsure maybe even a little distraught? "What have you done to me, Bella?"

**A/N: Thanks to all that read and review, there seems to be many that have their review response turned off. So, I don't get to say thank you, it is very much appreciated.**

**A/N: All characters belong to SM **


	7. Ch 7 The Debt Collector and the Heir

**Bella POV: **

The two days I spent without Edward were the longest days of my life, and I never accomplished one damn thing. I never thought of a way to approach Edward about the money, and I sure as hell never figured out a way to discuss my or should I say our pregnancy with him.

The simple thought of that scared the hell out of me, he was going to shit a brick. It wouldn't matter that he had told me he was falling in love with me, we had stayed in Saturday and he had drank a little too much. Moments before he passed out he had pulled me down and whispered into my ear " I don't know how you've done it, my Bella, but I am hopelessly falling in love with you." I am sure he probably does not even recall saying the words and will most likely freak out at the first mention of a baby and toss me out on my ass, not that it mattered I still had my apartment to go back to. The only issue there was that as cold and calculating as it may sound, I have no choice but to get the money to pay my fathers debt before I tell Edward anything.

I couldn't run the risk that he would kick me out and refuse to pay me, I've seen first hand what kind of an cold hearted bastard Edward could be when he set his mind to it. I now had a baby to think about and there was no way that I was going to allow anything to happen to him or her. This child was the only real family I had left in this world.

When Edward returned from his trip he was… different. It wasn't a significant difference but he was definitely not quite himself and it made me nervous. I don't know, call me paranoid but I was constantly afraid that he would somehow find out the truth. I was so paranoid that I hadn't even let him know that my best friend was actually his Jr. Assistant, and as much of a long shot as it may be I believed that he'd piece it together if he knew about her.

The Friday following Edwards return I received a visit from none other than John DiFronzo himself, he had two men with him again. He had spent the first ten minutes here letting me know that he knew something was up.

"Do you take me for a dimwitted fool, my Bella?" He sneered at me.

"I, I'm sorry, I have no idea what your talking about." I stammered.

"Well, I must tell you that it certainly came as a surprise to me when it was brought to my attention that your new husband is one of the wealthiest men in Chicago. At first I was a little pissed off that you were having me wait for what is owed me, when it is nothing but chump change to a man like Edward Cullen." As he spoke he ran his fingers down my face before grasping my chin tightly, making me look into the darkest eyes I'd ever seen in my life.

"It is not my husbands debt to pay." I whimpered.

I suddenly found myself slammed up against the wall, shoved upwards by the hand he wrapped around my throat until nothing but the tips of my toes were touching the floor.

"Do you think I give a shit who the hell the debt belongs to, hell it's wasn't even your debt. I just want my fucking money, the debt falls on you now because you were the sole beneficiary to your fathers estate. If those funds had been borrowed legally, I would have received my money before you. It's the law, so as far as I am fucking concerned you have stolen from me."

"But I didn't know" I cried "And I told you I will pay it, I just need the time we agreed on, that's all."

"Maybe I need a little something to tide me over." He whispered against the side of my face, and I felt him run his tongue along my jaw. Seconds later his rough hand was thrust up my skirt, cupping my sex. "I've watched you grow into the young woman that you are today, do you know that? You are the reason that your father was able to fall so indebt to me."

His words confused me, I had no idea what he meant by them. I was too terrified to comprehend anything, my body began to shake beyond control as he threw me to the floor. I backed as far away as I could from him, begging him to leave me be.

He bent down in front of me and grasped my face in his hands, he opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't give him a chance. I was afraid for my unborn child, he had already thrown me down with such force. I had no clue what his plans for me were, so I begged.

"Please don't hurt me, I-I'm pregnant. You'll get your money, I'll have it by Monday. I swear, please, please… just go." I breathed.

"Get your fucking hands off of her!" I spun my head in the direction of Edwards voice, he had a murderous look in his eyes as he dropped his briefcase and walked towards me.

"Edward, don't" I cried out as tears spilled from my eyes. Mr. Difronzo released my face and stood to his full height, Edward stood a few inches over him but was still out numbered if anything were to happen.

"Do you know who you are talking to, Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Difronzo questioned arrogantly.

"Yes, I know who the fuck you are. Now what the fuck are you doing in my home, accosting my wife?"

"Ah, well obviously she has something of mine and I came to collect."

"What and why the fuck does she owe you anything?" Edward asked as he leaned down to see if I was ok.

"Lets just say that she inherited a debt, one too large for me to overlook."

"Cut the fucking shit, Difronzo. How much?" His voice was laced with venom as he spoke, it was a tone I had never heard from him.

"One point five." Was the cold response.

"Fine you'll have it this evening, so tell me how you want it paid and then get the fuck out."

Edward was given the particulars and then the men turned to leave, but not before Difronzo turned back to Edward.

"It was a pleasure doing business, oh and congratulations on the heir. A fortune like yours certainly deserves a family to keep it in." FUCK! I had been certain that even if Edward had been standing there when I mentioned it, he didn't hear because I could barely hear my own voice at the time.

Edward never even flinched, the control he was maintaining was terrifying. "Just stay the fuck away from her, the debt is as good as paid. You'll have your money within the hour."

I was already seated in the chair that sat next to me and Edward never even looked at me, he walked away and I heard as his office door closed loudly. I could hear muffled conversation that sounded like arguing and then nothing for a few moments. "Just send the fucking money, Jasper… that's fine… thank you… yes… goodbye."

I waited for close to half an hour, not even moving from where I sat before Edward finally came back into the room. He stood before me silent.

"You might have already had this in mind, but I still feel the need to say it. You can just take the money from what you were going to pay me, that's what I was going to use it for anyway." I told him as my lips quivered.

"Is that why you agreed to this so easily, to stay married and live with me?"

"Yes" I answered, it wasn't a lie. He just wasn't aware of the extent of my deception as far as him actually marrying me in the first place.

"How did you 'inherit' this debt, that is how he put it, right?" I knew he deserved the truth, at least as much as I could give him right now.

"It was my father's. He had… issues with drinking and gambling." He simply nodded as he drew in a deep breath releasing it with a gust.

His voice was cold and emotionless, his face an emotionless blank slate as he looked anywhere but at me.

"Why did he congratulate me?" He asked although for an instant his eyes told me that he already knew, before they glazed back over.

"I… h-he…" I gulped audibly and more tears fell. I didn't need to continue, he knew.

"How long?" He asked as he sat on the couch, as far from me as he could get and still be in the same room.

"I think around six weeks." I whispered "We must not have been… safe in Vegas. I was too close to my cycle for it to have been the 'closet… incident'." I choked out, it didn't even feel right to use the term we'd used to joke about our first night here, together.

"What are you planning to do?"

"I…well I'm sure you won't be happy. I am not deluding myself about that but, I was scared briefly… at first and now I'm not. I want this, it's as simple as that. I… I'm going to have a baby, Edward." He was silent for a few very awkward moments and he looked… angry? Yes, I think angry sounds about right.

"Say something, Edward."

"What the fuck would you like me to say? It's not like I get a say in any of it, your pregnant, it's done." He stood and went to pour himself a drink.

"Yes, it is done. Neither of us had a say in it, but that doesn't matter to me anymore. We're going to be parents Edward, you can choose to be a part of it…. or not."

Edwards back was to me and he never turned to look at me, he just shook his head and left the room. It obviously didn't go over well but I really wasn't expecting much different, I can't imagine that he would be excited to be having a child with anyone much less a woman he plans on divorcing.

I had originally thought that he would go into his office, or maybe grab a shower but I realised I was wrong when I heard the sound of the front door being slammed shut. I decided to shower and then just rest for a bit myself.

I set myself up on the bed and put a movie on. It was after eleven and I hadn't heard Edward come in, I wasn't planning on trying to discuss this with him unless he brought it up, at least not right now but I knew I would feel better if he was at least home before I fell asleep.

Rose had texted me to see how things went so I called her back knowing she was still up. She of course had the same attitude as when we first spoke about it, just be happy for yourself and don't worry about Edward either he'll come around or he won't but YOU WILL BE FINE!

She was also ecstatic to find out that Edward had cleared up my father's debt, just as I should have been and I was but right now I was worried about Edward.

He still hadn't returned when I last looked at the time just after midnight and I must have dozed off not much after as I woke at 2:30 in the morning and was still alone in the bed. I walked through the house quietly, hoping to find that he had at least come home.

The music room and office were empty and all the lights in the house were out just as I had left them, the couch was empty as well. I know I shouldn't feel angry or jealous since what we have isn't your typical marriage, but I couldn't help it. My mind immediately went to other women, they were always throwing themselves at him and I know for a fact that he doesn't always say no.

I grabbed a glass of water and was heading back to bed when something buzzed loudly on the counter effectively scaring the crap out of me. It was Edwards blackberry, he must have left without it. I couldn't help but notice the name that flashed across the screen as it lit up in the dark room, Lauren Mallory.

I vaguely remember Rose talking about the nuisance Lauren had been with her constant calls to the office when she was sleeping with Edward, but what the fuck was she texting whom she thought to be a married man at this time of night for? My mind was jumping back and forth telling me to just open the message and read it and then shifting to reminding me that whatever it says really was not my business.

It took less than a minute for my mind to stupidly decide that if he was stepping out on this marriage I have a right to know. We may not have a marriage in the traditional sense but he made a promise to me and we have also been carrying on a sexual relationship sans protection at times.

_From Lauren Mallory- Eddy baby it was so nice 2 c u 2nite. Can't wait 2 get my hands on u again 2tomorrow night, I'm holding u 2 ur word ;) _

"Asshole" I muttered to myself and then it sank in, he was fucking her again, not even six hours later and he's with some whore. My knees went weak and I couldn't breath, I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I was shocked by the sudden sob that escaped my throat as I dropped to my knees and cried into my hands.

I only allowed myself a few moments like this and then quickly decided that the bastard didn't deserve my tears. How can he tell me he loves me, even if he had been somewhat inebriated then go and be with that slut the moment he finds out that I am bringing a new life, by way of his own blood, his child into this world. I fucking hate him.

"What did you really expect from a man like Edward Cullen, Bella?" I mumbled to myself.

I pulled myself up off of the floor and as much as I just wanted to smash his fucking blackberry off the wall…I didn't. I simply placed it back on the counter and went back to bed. That stupid message constantly flashing across my mind, 'Eddy'. Is she fucking serious, I know for a fact he can not stand to be called that, but she's allowed?

I had only been back in bed a few minutes when I heard Edward come in the door, I could hear as he dropped his keys in the dish and went straight into the guest bathroom to shower. Silent tears ran down my face as I tried to ignore my traitor thoughts, I didn't want to care what the fuck he did…but I did anyway and I knew he was washing traces of that bitch off of him.

I very nearly choked on my own sobs as I felt him climb into bed with me, I couldn't believe the nerve of the fucking bastard. I fought to keep both the sobs and the tears to myself, I sure as hell was not giving him the satisfaction of knowing what he can do to me.

Needless to say I never slept a wink nor did my body stray to his side of the bed, not that I can say the same for Edward. I knew when he was in a deep sleep as his body gravitated to mine, he rolled towards me and wrapped his arm around my stomach pulling me tight against his him. I clutched my fists to my chest and my entire body tensed up.

That is how I stayed for the next four hours until Edward finally woke up, he never even flinched when he noticed that he was again holding me. The only sign I knew he was awake was that by now I am very aware of his breathing patterns and his breathing had changed. He lied still for a moment still holding me before he gently stroked my stomach as he rested his forehead against my shoulder.

He seemed to be having a moment in one instant and then it was over in the next. He released a deep breath, rolled over and left the bed. I could smell coffee brewing while I lied there trying to figure him out, I have no idea how long I was deep in thought but I was startled by Edward when he cursed loudly as glass shattered.

"Fuck! What the hell?"

I quickly got up and went out to kitchen. There was glass scattered across the kitchen floor and a small amount of blood on Edwards foot, I looked from his foot to his face to the broken glass and back again. I could tell he was feeling pretty rough this morning, he reeked of last nights booze.

" Are you ok?" I asked quietly.

"I'm fine" He snapped. "It's nothing, a small cut, what I'd like to know is why the hell a glass is sitting in the middle of the fucking kitchen floor?"

I felt bad for a split second knowing that I had left it there, but then I quickly remembered why it had been placed on the floor in the first place. Fucking Lauren… I had set it down on the floor when I fell to my knees after reading her text.

"Do you intend to answer me anytime soon?" God he could be such a condescending prick.

"Do you intend to stop being such a fucking prick anytime soon?" I asked in response.

"And maybe you would have seen it if you hadn't been so damn hungover, Edward." I was definitely reaching with this comment, it's not like I wasn't aware that sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor is the last place one would expect to find a glass of water.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I could tell he was thinking the same thing, he was looking at me like a had grown a second head or something.

"No, I am not. And you need a shower, christ, you smell like the spit bucket at a Vineyard." I spat and turned to walk away but he reached out grabbing my wrist.

In reality I can honestly say that his touch was gentle and I knew deep down that he would never hurt me, he was a gentle, kind , and caring man. Most of the time anyway. That was just a side of him that not many were given the opportunity to see. Even knowing these things did not stop me from lashing out at him for the wrong reasons, I was angry at him for being able to hurt me emotionally, not physically.

"Don't you ever put your hands on me like that again." I growled as I pulled my arm from his grasp and took off for the bedroom.

"Bella, Bella…come on open the door." he called through the bedroom door.

"Bella, please. I swear I would never hurt you. Will you please unlock the door?"

I continued to ignore him and he finally went away, leaving me to fall asleep for another few hours. When I left the room after showering Edward was no where to be found, I made dinner and ate quietly by myself unable to stop myself from thinking that he is probably with HER right now.

I cried again and became even more frustrated with myself for being so emotional, damn pregnancy hormones and damn Edward Cullen! I packed up the leftovers and placed them in the fridge before I washed the few dirty dishes that were there. I was just putting the last of them away when Edward walked in.

He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and leaned back against the counter across from me casually crossing one leg over the other. As angry as I was I still had to admire his strong, athletically lean physique.

His eyes lit up slightly as he noticed my eyes assessing his body, but for once he kept his damn smirk to himself. "Do you mind if I shower in our bathroom?" He asked.

"What are you asking me for?" I replied keeping my tone as civil as possible.

"You obviously didn't want me in there earlier and I don't want to upset you any further, not with you…well not in your condition."

"Oh please Edward, I'm pregnant not dying. I can handle you just fine and it's your house, shower wherever you want but I don't see the big deal you didn't mind using the guest bathroom last night."

"I didn't want to wake you, but I prefer my shower."

"Yeah I bet you didn't want to wake me" I muttered as he started down the hall.

"Did you say something?" He called out.

"Nope, not a thing."

"We'll be leaving at seven, your still going aren't you?"

"That was a part of the deal wasn't it?"

"Sorry, I didn't hear what you were saying." He said walking back in from the hall.

"I said yes, Edward. I told you I would." He nodded and went to get his shower. I had forgot that Alice was coming over to quickly do my hair before she went home to get ready herself, until she chose that moment to knock on the door.

**A/N: All characters belong to SM. **


	8. Ch 8 Broken Promises?

**Bella POV: **

My hair turned out beautifully, she had put tons of springy long spiralling curls in that she pulled back and bunched up over to the side, where the curls fell naturally over one shoulder with a few soft ringlets framing my face. It looked amazing with the dress that Edward had gotten for me.

Edward.

Alice kept asking what was wrong and at first I was denying anything was wrong but the question I had been wanting to ask flew from my lips before I even registered what I was saying.

"Were you friendly with Lauren Mallory while Edward was seeing her?"

"What? God no, and I would hardly call what they had going on dating or seeing each other. Edward would never refer to _that_ as a girlfriend, that's what's so strange about the two of you. Edward never really dated, period, and where the hell did that question come from anyways?"

"I don't know, she's been around I guess. So I just wondered about her."

"What do you mean 'been around'? If your telling me that Edward has had her around the two of you, I'll kick his fucking ass!" Alice was small but definitely feisty and I had no doubt that her words rang true.

"No, no not around us but he's uh…been around her, but please you can't say anything. I shouldn't even know but I read a text she sent him late last night…late as in like 2:30 this morning." I knew I shouldn't be saying anything, Alice will keep it to herself but I could tell I was getting upset again and my eyes were starting to water.

"Don't you dare cry Bella. It'll all be ok, I don't know what's going on with her but I can feel it's going to be fine, trust me. Now what did the skank have to say?"

I noticed Edward left his blackberry on the nightstand so I picked it up and scrolled down to her message and held it out to Alice.

_From Lauren Mallory- Eddy baby it was so nice 2 c u 2nite. Can__'t wait 2 get my hands on u again 2tomorrow night, I'm holding u 2 ur word ;) _

"Huh… what an asshole, what the fuck does that mean?"

"You got me Alice, he disappeared earlier for a couple of hours but this says tomorrow night as in tonight. Maybe he'll go out again after the Benefit."

"Well don't let him. Just ask him straight out Bella, call him on his shit. I love Edward like a brother but if he is fucking around and with that skank, I swear to you I will kick his ass. I mean it Bella, you're like a sister to me now too. We may not have known each other for very long, but I feel like I have always known you."

"I can't say or do anything Alice, but thank you so much. You're truly like a sister to me too." I said hugging her.

Edward finished up and stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes after Alice had left to go home and get dressed. She had done her hair and makeup here as we were talking and it was just about time to go.

I had just finished slipping my stockings on, rolling them up to mid thigh and was stepping into my dress when I noticed Edward leaning against the door frame, he finally spoke once he knew he had been caught.

"You look beautiful, Bella."

"I'm not even dressed yet Edward."

"Doesn't matter, you're always beautiful. You could be standing here in dirty old rags or a burlap sack and you would still be beautiful."

"Sure, thanks. You look good too." He chuckled at my half assed attempt at a compliment and stepped towards me motioning for me to turn around so he could zip up my dress.

"I'm sorry" He whispered into my ear and gently kissed the side of my neck. I wasn't sure what he was apologizing for, his reaction to me being pregnant, talking to me the way he did, fucking Lauren, just plain being a dick. It could be one of a dozen different things from today alone, it was after all a day in the life of Edward Cullen, arrogant asshole extraordinaire.

I nodded and quickly fixed my makeup, we didn't have time to talk about anything now we needed to be on our way to the benefit. We drove there in silence with Edward only finally speaking right before we stepped out of the car.

"I really am sorry, we'll talk when we get home, ok, love. Now let's go have some fun."

"Ok." I replied as I released a shaky breath, at least he's coming home with me tonight.

I had forgotten how insane it was going to be as we stepped out of the car, there were reporters and photographers everywhere. Yelling out questions to Edward and me, snapping pictures of us as we walked hand in hand towards the entrance that would separate us from all the hype out here.

The benefit seemed to be a smashing success, everything was beautiful and the hospital was bringing in a ton of money that would help so many people that can not afford to help themselves plus help make some much needed improvements.

I was shocked when Edward filled out the form for his donation of one million dollars and listed it as donated by Mrs. Isabella Cullen & Mr. Edward Cullen with all funds going to the children's wing.

I started to feel a little better as the evening went on, Edward kept politely harassing me to dance and I eventually gave in. We had danced around the ballroom to a couple of songs before settling in for a while with Alice, Jasper, Emmett and his date Claire. I had noticed a blond with very obviously fake breasts bouncing about trying to get Edwards attention a few times but didn't think much about it, considering he seemed to know most people here and women were always making eyes at him anyway.

Edward excused himself to go to the washroom. I had been distracted by something funny that Jasper and Alice were telling me that it was twenty minutes later before I noticed that Edward had not returned and was about to go look for him when his mom, Esme, started asking me if I was enjoying my night. I had been so engrossed in Jasper's story that I have no idea how long Esme had been sitting next to me, so I now felt bad for ignoring her and felt the need to carry on a conversation for a few moments longer.

I excused myself for a bathroom break as well in order to look for Edward when I noticed him only just now exiting the bathroom area. He spotted me at the same time and smiled walking towards me.

It wasn't until he reached me and placed a kiss on my cheek as he turned to lead me back to the dance floor that I noticed the same blond woman from earlier eyeing him again as she exited the washroom area. She scowled as she seen him place his arm around me but again, I brushed it off as most women are jealous of any woman Edward has on his arm.

I was finally feeling truly relaxed, I was having a great time. Edward was being wonderful again, and I was happy that he wanted to be able discuss everything when we went home. Of course he had tried earlier but I had ignored him as he knocked at the bedroom door.

Edward danced with his mom and Alice, while I danced with Jasper and Emmett before we were finally back in each others arms. We were dancing to our second song this time around when Alice winked at me before her Jasper disappeared into the crowd on the dance floor. I guess it was her way of saying I told you so! When she seen how much happier I seemed to be.

The third song had started playing as I yawned and Edward leaned down whispering in my ear again. "How about we have this last dance and get your beautiful ass home?"

I smiled telling him that it sounded good, as I said I was looking forward to our conversation. I had just rested my head against his chest again when I heard the most annoying nasally sounding voice beside me.

"Just wondered if I could cut in briefly um…Mrs Cullen, I assume? I mean before the evening comes to an end." I was caught a little off guard by her approach and was not at all surprised to find it was the blond from earlier again, I wasn't really bothered by her and I knew that Carlisle, Edwards father was hosting the event and that he wouldn't want to make his father look bad by coming off as rude.

"Ah…sure?" It came out as more of a question as I turned to Edward and he gave me what I thought was an apologetic smile before he introduced us quickly.

"Bella, love this is Lauren Mallory, Lauren my wife, Bella." His voice seemed a little strained and I could certainly understand why since he was being forced to introduce his 'pregnant wife' to the woman he was fucking less than 24 hours ago!

I attempted to hide the shock and pain I was feeling as I felt my fucking heart break as quickly as possible but I could tell he had seen it and had the nerve to look at me like he didn't have a fucking clue what had just happened.

I was so fucking shocked that they would do this to me, that he would be ok with her approaching us at an intimate moment such as dancing and to actually cut in! I didn't even bother attempting to be civil. I turned and glared at Edward as I spoke, knowing these damn hormones were about to take over again and I would soon be a blubbering mess in no time."

"Yes Eddy baby, by all means give the lady what she wants and don't you ever even think about touching me again. Oh and use the god damn guest bathroom when you get home asshole." I hadn't spoke loud enough for Lauren to hear even over the soft music but Edward's facial expression was unreadable, I had no idea what was going through his mind.

"He's all yours honey" I told Lauren sweetly as I turned to leave. She had immediately taken Edwards arm but he pulled away and had turned towards me as I fled across the dance floor, I tried so hard to hold back but my eyes betrayed me and the tears were falling before I even left the ballroom….

I heard what sounded like arguing coming from behind me and one of those voices was definitely Alice, she could be very boisterous for a tiny thing. I was headed straight for the front entrance and had the door opened only a fraction of an inch when I heard and saw a lot of movement going on out there. SHIT! I can not have them get a picture of me like this, I'm a complete mess.

I turned back only to see Edward and Alice in a heated argument as he was trying to get passed her. He looked up and saw me, I would guess that I looked worse then I thought standing here because he looked mortified.

"Bella please, I don't know what just happened. Talk to me, I'm begging you."

"Just stay the hell away from her Edward, you have done enough don't you think? Look at her she's a fucking mess!"

"Alice, I have no idea what your talking about either so just stay out of it."

"I will not stay out of it, you cheating bastard. How could you, Edward?" Edward and I gasped in unison.

"Alice! You promised, I don't need to be humiliated even more. If your going to be calling him shit like that at least do it behind closed doors."

Edward seemed to finally shake off his shock induced silence and lowered both his voice and then his face to Alice's. "I have never stepped out on my marriage to Bella, I have not been with another woman since before I married her. Do not ever disrespect my wife again by saying such shit, do you understand me?" He hissed. He was fuming, his face was so fucking red I thought he was going to lose it.

Alice opened her mouth and I can only imagine what would have come out if I hadn't stepped in. I placed my hand on Edwards arm, he looked down at me and he seemed to calm immediately.

"Alice, it's ok. I'll deal with this, I promise. Thank you really but you just…I couldn't tell you everything so you just don't understand." I said before turning back to Edward who was about to speak up as well. "Edward…Just don't. I want to go home please."

"Call me tomorrow Bella, ok?"

"I will, I promise. Now go find that handsome soon to be husband of yours." I told her as I gave her a quick hug. I turned back to Edward and his hair was a mess from running his fingers through it so often in the last few minutes.

"I don't want to see pictures of me looking like this, I don't know what to do." I said looking at Edward.

"Come on, just keep your head down and into my shoulder it'll look like we just can't get close enough to each other tonight." He said as he pulled me into his side and wrapped his arms around me. "See, just looks like you can't keep your hands off of me." I know he was just trying to make me laugh but I really was not in the mood.

We made it to the car without too much attention so I was pretty happy about that. We endured another silent car ride, both obviously opting for the privacy of home for the conversation ahead.

Edward managed to get my door opened before I did and placed his hand on my lower back leading me into the house. We both stood in the entryway for a moment unsure of what to do.

"Do you mind if I shower quickly and throw something comfortable on before we talk? I feel like shit." I asked. It had been a rather long 24 hours.

"Sounds good, why don't we both do the same before we settle in." He responded as he brought his hand to my face and wiped away a stray tear. "I'm sorry baby, I don't know what's wrong here, well besides the obvious but I will fix it. I swear to you, I will."

I nodded and made my way to the bedroom, what could I say really. I was only getting more pissed off listening to him claim he didn't know what the problem was over and over again. I could hear him start up the shower in the guest bathroom and cringed at the thought of him sneaking in there last night to 'clean up'.

Fuck it, I turned and stormed back down the hall entering behind him. I was so pissed that I almost didn't register that Edward was standing there naked…almost being the operative word…

"Why?" I demanded

"I'm sorry? Why what?" He asked as he leaned in turning the water back off.

"Why are you fucking that whore? Why did you decide to tell me that you love me and then…an then…go to her? Why would you be ok with her approaching me…us like that? Why…just why?" I choked out as a sob escaped my lips and I quickly brought my hand to my mouth. "God, do you even know what that felt like, to know where you had been, what you were doing, and then you sneak in here to…to shower." I said waving my hand around like a crazy person as I gestured around the room while he stood there gaping at me. I knew I was being unreasonable, and it wasn't the first time in the last week or so.

"I can't even stand seeing you in here, get out, get out of here! Go shower in your own fucking shower!" I snapped while trying to shove him out the bathroom door. It was a useless effort as Edward towers over me and his body is so much more powerful then my own. His strong arms wrapped around my body stilling me as he spoke softly into the side of my face.

"Bella, baby sshhh sweetheart. I swear you are the only woman I have been with since our wedding, the only woman I could ever want or need. I think of no one but you, and alone confuses the fuck out of me but I love you damn it-why can't you just believe that, Bella!"

He had just confirmed that he both remembered and meant his drunken declaration of love to me, and I was so distraught that I had completely over looked it. I just continued to throw insults and accusations around.

"Because you're a liar Edward." Plain and simple.

I could tell he was now getting angry, he didn't like being second guessed.

"Please tell me why I would need to be involved with another woman, you have more than enough different personalities to keep me completely fucking occupied!" He exclaimed before a look of shock covered his face. "Oh god, Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that, you've just been so up and down recently but it's completely understandable."

I continued to sob barely struggling against his hold, my body was revolting against my mind and winning as it wanted him close, while my mind was screaming to keep him the fuck away.

While he continued to speak softly his tone became harsher as he pressed further. "Does this have something to do with Alice? What the hell has she put in your head?"

"Leave her out of this, she didn't put anything in my head I told her what you've been doing behind my back. You promised Edward, you promised you wouldn't humiliate me like this. You said no one else for either of us and I kept up my end." I said finally giving in and collapsing against his naked form.

"Enough!" He said, his now much louder voice echoing through the bathroom. "Just tell me why you would think such a thing." He commanded.

"I…I god just stop with the lies and acting like you really give a shit. I read a text she sent you Edward. I can't do this anymore it…it's over." I said my voice cracking as I said the words that hurt the most so far…

**A/N: Just letting everyone know in advance that it will most likely be a few days before the next update. Thanks for reading and reviewing, it's nice to know what you think!**

**A/N: All characters belong to SM.**


	9. Ch 9 The Tin Man

**A/N: WARNING!! There is some explicit sexual content in this chapter, not the act of it really but the description of past encounters. My lemons are normally descriptive but this chapter adds a little more... spice to it. Please keep this in mind as you read. **

**I am posting sooner than planned as this chapter was already mostly written and just needed to be edited. It will most likely be a few days for sure after this chapter before I update again. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Bella POV:**

_**Previous Chapter**_

"_**I…I god just stop with the lies and acting like you really give a shit. I read a text she sent you Edward. I can't do this anymore it…it's over." I said my voice cracking as I said the words that hurt the most so far.**_

"Who? I don't understand, what text?"

I pushed back off of him and he finally released me. I bent down and pulled his blackberry from his jacket pocket hoping the text was still there, I scrolled down and handed it to him. He looked genuinely surprised to read the message, claiming he hadn't even known it was there and I had completely misunderstood.

"Please listen to me love. This explains so much, I have never even seen this, you should have said something I would have realized what was going on and avoided all this. Bella, I can't lose you , not now, not over this, over her. Fuck! He had dropped his phone and was cradling my face in his hands.

"I love you, Bella, which is new to me and considering what our circumstances are that realization alone left me reeling but then finding out we were having a baby. I panicked Bella, marriage and love and…babies just were not something I saw happening for me and I needed to sort that out."

I started to interrupt because really, his admissions were lovely and all but none of this explained _HER_ part in this but he stopped me asking me to hear him out. I owed him that much.

" I had Jasper meet me for a few drinks, we talked and he helped me see some things. We met at a little piano bar I used to go to sometimes and Lauren showed up later in the night, I promise you I only spoke to her for a moment. She knew I'd be at the benefit for the hospital just as I am every year, she mentioned she'd be there too and to save her a dance and I just brushed her off and went on my way. She must have taken that as my agreeing to a dance, which I did not." He shook his head almost as though he were literally trying to clear his mind.

"If you feel anywhere near what I do then I can only imagine how it felt for you to have her approach us, I'm so sorry baby. Please tell me you believe me?"

"I don't know what to say to that I just…I want to believe you, this is just so confusing I mean think about it Edward, this arrangement was never supposed to be a real marriage but yet here we are having a real baby. The kicker being that this marriage that isn't supposed to be real is in fact a real marriage…we are actually married, not to mention the fact that we actually live our lives like a real married couple even when it's just us. It's so fucking confusing,"

"I want it to be real." He whispered as he looked down at his feet and for the first time since this whole thing started Edward actually looked vulnerable.

"I can't explain it, Bella, I've just never experienced this level of attraction to anyone before. I'm drawn to you, like a magnet to it's true north. There are forces at work between us like gravity, chemistry, I feel a physical pull towards you, always. We've had some kind of… connection from the moment we met, I can feel it. I know this is all happening so fast, this past couple of weeks have really done a number on me too. You came along like a fucking hurricane and my world, it was knocked so completely off balance." He was rambling, but oddly I knew exactly what he was trying to say.

My mind was reeling as the implications of what he was saying sunk in, he wants to stay with me? To continue this marriage? I suddenly realized that I never responded, not to his drunken declaration and not tonight. He said he loves me and I never said it back.

"I love you."

I whispered those three simple words to him and his lips attacked mine, he was kissing me everywhere my lips, cheeks, forehead and nose as he kept repeating 'thank god, I love you too, baby'

Edward picked me up carrying me bridal style to the master bathroom where he proceeded to fill the huge bathtub adding my favourite bubble bath and lighting the candles surrounding the tub. "After you Mrs. Cullen" he said after stripping off my gown and undergarments and dimming the lights.

We enjoyed a rather relaxing hot bath washing one another's bodies before he pulled me back against his chest and we just enjoyed the quiet together for a few moments. "I love you, Bella." He whispered "I feel like I've waited my whole life for you, I want to be with you, I want us, this baby." He said reaching around me to stroke my stomach. "I want us to have it all, I don't want to let you go. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, I just needed time to think and now that I have I wouldn't change it, not one bit Bella. If I could go back and do it all over I'd do it all the same, I'd marry you, I'd make love to you and I'd still be having this baby with you."

Oh god, he's going to make me start crying again…stupid fucking hormones! "I think I've known it all along, only I couldn't fucking see it until I came home to find that bastard standing over you. So many fucking things were running through my mind, I was so afraid that you'd somehow gotten yourself involved in something I couldn't fix. I didn't realize until my head cleared but that was the precise moment that I knew you were my life, you _are_ my life now."

I had no idea how to respond to something like that. I knew one thing for certain, once he knew the truth… he was going to hate me.

**Edward POV: One week prior**

**A/N: Lets please all be kind and remember that Edward was different before Bella, change is gradual. 'Rome was not built in one day' Have faith… **

Bella and I had returned from the museum and she was exhausted, I readily agreed to lie down with her for a while. I drifted off quickly and found myself waking shortly before six in the evening, I started the chicken for dinner and showered.

I was alone with my thoughts for a while as I prepared the Broccoli and Chicken Fettuccini Alfredo, I knew I had my trip to Cleveland coming up and had yet to mention it to Bella. I was confused by that somewhat and wondered if it had anything to do with Irina, she was the closest I have ever come to a relationship before Bella.

I guess relationship is too strong of a word to define what we… do, or rather used to do. I met her on one of my many business trips to Cleveland a couple of years ago, I usually only end up there four or five times a year. She is tall, very attractive, with long blond hair and blue eyes and an impressive rack.

She knew who I was the moment she laid eyes on me and pursued me almost immediately. She was one of the few I would go back to without a second thought, we were a lot alike in the sense that neither one of us were interested in settling down period. Sex with her was always… easy, we hardly ever socialized outside of the bedroom. We knew what each other wanted and expected from our encounters and never deviated from the arrangement, I guess you would call it. Since meeting her I have always looked forward to my Cleveland visits, I would let her know in advance when I would be coming into town. She knows I'll be there on Monday as this trip had already been scheduled before I even left town the last time I had been there.

I've yet to mention the fact that I have since gotten married, my head has been all over the fucking place where Bella is concerned.

Irina's sexual preferences were pretty out there, she liked it hard and fast with lots of play. She was the first woman to ever introduce me to a little bondage, nothing extreme but she has a thing for being tied down and likes to have pain inflicted on her.

I don't know how many times I've returned home with a sore hand (among other things) because she would scream endlessly for me to smack her harder and harder as I nailed her from behind.

Evidently she is also the only woman I had ever been with that took pleasure in a little anal play, I suppose that would be because I rarely ever spent enough time with one woman for her to be comfortable enough to broach the subject. Irina wasn't shy, she knew what she wanted and went after it. She'd often tuck a bullet vibrator inside her while we'd engage in anal claiming that each stroke pressed it against her g-spot and I can't deny the fucking pleasure it brought me as well. It was constant stimulation as I pounded into her, she would joke calling it a two-for as it brought us both extreme pleasure.

I was surprised when she first started to introduce her extensive collection of dildos, vibrators, beads, and what she would call her bondage kits. She had also pulled out a cock ring vibrator, which I outright refused to use until I purchased my own. I wasn't interested in having anything on me that others had used, although I did feel pretty damn good about myself when I had to purchase a few before finding one big enough for me. The elasticized ones were stretchable but pulled at your skin and hair, I preferred something different. My stamina really paid off when the different vibrators were used including the ring, otherwise I would have blown my load instantly.

Sexually I'd accomplished many of my firsts with her, she was wild and not at all inhibited in the bedroom. I had taken part in my first threesome, orgy, swinger party and as I said my first anal encounter with her. She was also very into women just as much as men, there were many instances when a female friend or colleague of hers would join us for the evening. She had yet to introduce the same woman to our sexual adventures, like me she preferred a variety.

"Something smells delicious out here." Bella spoke, effectively breaking my train of thought which had solely been focused on Cleveland and Irina. I immediately felt guilty for where my thoughts had taken me, but I knew the moment that Bella stood before me clad in her sweats, hair pulled back. That nothing would be happening in Cleveland, those days were over. I would be sure to tell Irina that I am now married and not available for our regularly scheduled rendezvous.

"Oh hey sleepy head, you must have been beat you slept for hours." Sleepy head? Tell me she hadn't obviously caught me off guard.

We made easy conversation regarding dinner, and I tried to gloss over my upcoming trip when I brought it up to her. We settled in to watch a movie in bed pretty early, she was tired and with some urging had finally admitted to some backaches. I remembered a gift basket that Alice had sent over when she first learned of our marriage and quickly went to get the massage oil from it. Chuckling to myself as I pushed aside the DVD's, vibrators, lubrication and anything else my brother's twisted, nymphomaniac of a soon to be wife had included in her little care package.

I hadn't bothered to even mention any of this to Bella, she was… innocent when we married and definitely not ready for anything Alice seemed to have in mind for us. Not that we didn't have a healthy sex life because we definitely did, and the natural buzz that seemed to course through my body when we'd touch was better than any sensation brought on by any battery operated toy.

It was my intention to give Bella a simple back massage, she had been on edge for a few days now and I just wanted let her relax and have a decent nights sleep. The simple back massage had turned into a full body sensual, sexually charged massage. I tried to apologize for taking it too far, I'd never given one before and had no idea just how erotic it would be.

Turns out that it had affected Bella in the same way and she literally growled at me to continue, she wanted me just as much as I wanted her and the erotic massage turned into something I had never experienced before. We'd had sex numerous times since she'd moved in but this… this wasn't sex, it was something entirely different.

No one had ever sucked my cock like she had, and I had never had such an intense need to taste someone like I needed to right then. She was so wet and I continued to lap up her juices as they poured from her, this was the first time I had tried and succeeded at pushing her beyond what could have been her limit as I massaged her backside with my finger. She had stilled at first but quickly grew comfortable and ground her clit against my lips.

I had never came so hard in all my life as I did in that moment, the intimacy that followed was like no other, it was slow and sensual, and passionate, I found myself gently caressing her body and I told her she was fucking beautiful, because she was.

It wasn't until we had collapsed against one another and I pulled her back into my arms that I suddenly realised I had done it again. No fucking condom! Everything about her fucked with my head, her touch, her scent, her tinkling laughter and soft voice. Her nearness to me alone, completely halted any possible chance at coherent thought. I couldn't fucking think with her near me.

What the fuck was she doing to me? What the fuck kind of power did she have over me?

"What have you done to me?" I had unconsciously whispered aloud as I once again buried my face into her hair inhaling her intoxicating scent.

I drifted off into a thankfully dreamless sleep, if she had managed to also invade my dreams I don't know how I would have reacted. Sleep was the only real escape I had been finding lately as my mind, body and heart all warred one another. These new found emotions that were running through me left me with an unsettling and unfamiliar feeling.

I was not used to being afraid of anything, but I firmly believed that the more prominent emotion I was feeling was… fear?

I woke not feeling any better about what was happening to me. I had spent so many years not feeling that I had no idea what to do with what I was now feeling. I seriously felt like I was slowly losing my mind.

I found myself depending on scotch a little too much come dinner time and again climbed into bed earlier than usual. Bella joined me not long after, I was half asleep and definitely slightly intoxicated as I felt Bella slide in next to me again. As always I reached out pulling down against me holding her tight, and once again spoke what should have been my own private thoughts alone. " I don't know how you've done it, my Bella, but I am hopelessly falling in love with you." I simply have no control over myself when it comes to her.

I must have drank more than I thought because I slept half the day away and felt like shit when I did finally make my way to my home office. I powered up my laptop wanting to confirm my reservations for Monday, and confirm my appointments for the next couple of days.

I couldn't help but think back to the last couple of days while I waited for my laptop to boot. I was angry with myself for letting someone get to me the way Bella has, this person I was pretending to be while with her… it just wasn't me. I am not that sweet, lovesick, needy, pussy-whipped man that I see before me when I look in the mirror today. I didn't know how much longer I could go on like this, these next few days away from one another was probably going to serve me well. I needed to pull back, get a better grip on what truly is my reality.

I looked up to see that my laptop was ready and signed into my e-mail, there was nothing from my assistant so I knew there were no changes business wise to my trip. There was however an e-mail from Irina, she was confirming my visit.

_**To: Edward A. Cullen**_

_**From: Irina Denali**_

_**Subject: Confirmation **_

_**My darling Edward,**_

_**It is always a pleasure to know that you will soon be in town. I am excited to see you, I have a surprise for you! Don't bother to ask what it may be, as I will not tell you. It has been too long since we last met, I am in desperate need of what only you can provide.**_

_**My deepest regards,**_

_**Irina xxx **_

Part of me seriously argued with myself as to whether or not it was proper for me to confirm, and if I do confirm, what exactly am I confirming? Will I be confirming that yes, I will be arriving but am putting an end to our arrangement like the pussy-whipped bitch Bella would have me feel like, or am I confirming that I received her message and look forward to my surprise?

Her surprises were always quite delectable, the last one had been another couple and that was a very pleasant surprise. The other gentleman, James and I had shared the women back and forth and then taken part in a group romp.

Irina had ridden me hard as I laid back on the bed, she had her back to my torso and for added pleasure had me insert her vibrating butt plug, she leaned forward sucking off James who stood at the edge of the bed while I licked, sucked, nibbled and fucked Victoria with my tongue and fingers as she kneeled over my face, grasping the headboard screaming out in pleasure. Then we'd all switched up positions, going at it again.

That was one fuck of a surprise, if I do say so myself.

I didn't give it anymore thought, my head fucking hurt. I sent off a quick reply simply confirming that my trip was still on and shut down my laptop.

Monday morning I said goodbye to Bella, giving her a quick kiss and was on my way. I went through security and checked my bag in a timely fashion, my flight was on time and I touched down in Cleveland fairly quickly as it wasn't a long flight at all. I would drive but have no interest in wasting six hours driving alone.

I only had two meetings Monday, making it a short day. Tuesday was definitely a much busier day, I even had a business dinner to attend as well. I still hadn't contacted Irina after my arrival, which wasn't entirely strange. It had always depended on my mood and she never questioned me. I received a text from her asking me to stop by at 8:00pm, she knew not to leave things too late as my primary focus had always been business and I liked my sleep.

I headed over shortly before eight either way I would have met with her, even if it was to end our arrangement. Which for the most part had originally been my intention, I was just having difficulty justifying doing that and for what. A short lived marriage arranged to save face, to not look like the irresponsible man that makes rash and stupid decisions. That allows himself to marry a complete fucking stranger while drunk in Vegas, and said woman works some sort of god damn magic on me, making me doubt myself, my lifestyle, everything about me while trying to make me feel things that just don't exist for me.

Fuck that.

I arrived at Irina's townhouse just after eight, and was greeted by her naked form. Fuck she was gorgeous. She greeted me with a lip lock, which we rarely share during sex.

I ran my hands up and down her sides as I sucked her lower lip between my own. I wasn't hard like I'd normally be with a greeting such as this but I did feel a reaction below, which was promising. I kept trying to push Bella to the back of my mind, but the harder I focused on that the more she was there.

Before I had even realised my shirt was stripped off and tossed aside, and my pants were hanging low on my hips as she had them undone and her hand wrapped around my length. I grew hard as she stroked me and I cupped her ass, but I wasn't really there, I wasn't really feeling… anything.

I watched as a woman with long jet black hair walked slowly down the stairs, she too was naked. She was thin, almost too thin with perky breasts and was bare down below. Nice. I was so intent on watching as she approached that it wasn't until she spoke that I took in my current state.

"Mmmm, you were so right, Irina, he is utterly delicious and hung like a fucking horse too." I looked down to see that Irina had freed my barely there erection and was about to take me in to her mouth. A mass of blond hair is what I was looking at, it was all wrong.

I backed away and suggested that I might want to see the ladies have a little fun first, a lustful look crossed Irina's face as she stood and led the other woman to the table in the middle of the room. I put myself away knowing that I couldn't do this, I shouldn't be here.

They were instantly enthralled with one another, and I made the decision to just leave. I would call her when I returned home and explain, it was stupid to even think that I'd convinced myself that I could end things in person. Irina was… well she was Irina and as much as I could say no and would, it didn't mean that I should put myself in a position where she would push as far as she could to get what she wanted.

I was back in my room and forcing myself to do some serious thinking, I had to come to terms with my feelings for Bella. I was kidding myself if I seriously thought that I didn't truly care for her, I meant what I said Saturday night. I was falling in love her.

I've lived my life up until recently never caring, never feeling with the exception of my immediate family. I was empty, hollow, without a heart. I was the Tin Man in search of a heart, my heart and I found it in Bella.

My selfish, egotistical, cold hearted, cocky attitude almost cost me the chance at finally sharing my life with someone, at being happy and at finally finding love. Something I never thought to seek out, to need or want in my life. I needed to know how Bella felt, what she wanted. I was almost certain she wanted the same, as I think back now I can see the love in her eyes as we would… make love? Is that what happened Friday night… is that what felt so different, so right?

'Jesus Christ, Edward, you're such a fucking asshole.' I muttered to myself.

I rushed through my meetings all day Tuesday in order to squeeze in my afternoon appointment from Wednesday so that I could head home early, I wasn't expected until late in the evening but would make it home early afternoon and I was determined to make this right.

I'd have to start with honesty, I couldn't let her choose to stay with me if she didn't know about Irina. Nothing more than a kiss had happened, but I had touched her and her me before I stepped away and in all honesty I had considered more on my way to her house.

She would have to understand, I would have to make her understand.

I was lucky enough for my flight to not be delayed on my trip home as well. I was grinning like a lunatic as I entered the house, I could hear muffled talking and gently set my suitcase down by the door. I was very briefly in shock by what I saw as I entered the living area, My Bella was sprawled out on the floor while a man seemed to be taking a menacing stance over her with her head clutched in his hands,

I was fucking pissed that someone had entered my home and was handling my wife, I told him to get his fucking hands off of her and the moment he turned to me I only had one thought crossing my mind. 'What the fuck had she done to attract the attention of the John Difronzo and do I have a fucking chance at all of fixing it?'

We had a few words and I was relieved to learn that I could in fact fix this, he wanted money and I would give it to him. As he left my home he made one last comment that left my mind spiralling out of control.

"It was a pleasure doing business, oh and congratulations on the heir. A fortune like yours certainly deserves a family to keep it in."

Needless to say I was stunned. First she carried a rather large debt that I was clearing up for her, and now a fucking baby. I had just come to the realization that I was falling in love with her, no, I was in love with her, not falling. But a baby? I wasn't ready for this for fuck sakes.

I'd had the money sent off and we finally talked for a few minutes. She explained her father's debt, which had surprised me. I had been acquainted with Charlie Swan, and he had really seemed like a much more responsible man. If he'd known the mess of trouble he had left his daughter in, if she hadn't married me I didn't even want to imagine where she'd be right now.

None of that mattered anymore, the debt was paid and she was safe.

I just couldn't believe how quickly everything went to shit, I came home early to tell my wife that I wanted to stay married to her, that I loved her and now this. I was angry again, I couldn't control one damn thing about our relationship and she kindly reminded me of that when she basically said she could take me or leave me as a father to this child.

I needed to get the fuck out of here for a bit, clear my fucking head… again. I left her sitting on the couch as I walked out the door wondering if it was ever going to get any easier between the two of us…

**A/N: Please, please, please do not hate. Hopefully no one was offended by Edward and Irina's dealings with one another, once again I beg that you be patient and trust that Edward will eventually get to where he needs to be. They both have their faults, hell Edward would not even be married if Bella had not conned him into it in the first place. He does have a mind of his own and could have walked away but either way, she was using him for millions of dollars.**

**I know some of this chapter was just going back over what has gone on, but I do try to focus on the parts that I feel are important to see from Edwards POV. Again, thanks for reading and please let me know what you are thinking, I know many will be a little disappointed in this chapter but we have to take the good with the bad!**

**Also, all characters belong to SM. **


	10. Ch 10 Avoidance and Misconceptions

_**Bella POV:**_

_**Previous Chapter - from the last Bella POV.**_

"_**I love you, Bella." He whispered "I feel like I've waited my whole life for you, I want to be with you, I want us, this baby." He said reaching around me to stroke my stomach. "I want us to have it all, I don't want to let you go. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, I just needed time to think and now that I have I wouldn't change it, not one bit Bella. If I could go back and do it all over I'd do it all the same, I'd marry you, I'd make love to you and I'd still be having this baby with you." **_

_**Oh god, he's going to make me start crying again…stupid fucking hormones! "I think I've known it all along, only I couldn't fucking see it until I came home to find that bastard standing over you. So many fucking things were running through my mind, I was so afraid that you'd somehow gotten yourself involved in something I couldn't fix. I didn't realize until my head cleared but that was the precise moment that I knew you were my life, you are my life now." **_

_**I had no idea how to respond to something like that. I knew one thing for certain, once he knew the truth… he was going to hate me.**_

We hadn't discussed it any further, we had both gone quiet during our bath and the only other words we shared that night were whispered I love you's along with soft murmurs of how good the other feels as we made love into the early morning hours.

It was now mid August, and I was currently fourteen weeks pregnant and sporting a tiny little pouch across my mid-section. Edward and I appeared to both have opted to ignore any other issues we may have had, we were happy, avoidance was the answer for the time being. I had no reason to believe that anything happened between him and Lauren, Jasper had backed up Edwards claim about the night at the piano bar.

Not that I had asked him specifically but Alice had insisted we spend the day together not two days after the benefit, Jasper had over heard us discussing the argument that continued at home. Or at the least the version that I was able to share with her, I couldn't tell her how he suddenly realised that he loved me and wanted to stay committed to me. In her eyes that had been a given, she had assumed that we would never have stayed together if we weren't already at that point.

Japer had given me the same story only in his own words and I couldn't tell you why, but there was just something about him that let me know that he was a good, honest man. He wasn't just telling me what I wanted or needed to hear and he certainly wasn't covering for his brother. Emmett and Edward joined us later on and we all had dinner with Jasper and Alice, and spent the evening discussing their upcoming nuptials.

The wedding had been beautiful, I sat in the front pew with Esme and Carlise while Edward stood by his brothers side as his best man. Their guest list was extensive and I couldn't help but be aware that there were more than a few of Edwards former conquests in attendance.

One in particular was extremely persistent with her advances, she was a nurse at the hospital and worked closely with Carlisle. A few of his work colleagues had been invited, her included. I came to find out later when Edward finally chose to introduce her to his expectant wife that her name was Kate Stanley, and she made a point of mentioning that both her and her sister Jessica hoped to see him again in the very near future. _Whore._

Edward truly looked regretful, apologetic and even a little ashamed of his past behaviours or at least by the fact that they seemed to all too often be thrust in our faces. I hated it and I wanted to bitch, wine and cry about it, but they were exactly that, a part of his past. His life before me and I had no real right to hold it against him.

We called it an early night after offering our apologies, I had just been so exhausted as of lately. Part of me knew that it wasn't just the pregnancy, though that was a large part of it, I knew it was also the stress of my keeping such a big secret from him. I wanted to tell him but I was being selfish, I didn't want to lose him, not yet.

I woke through the night with a truly carnal desire, I was positively in need of my husbands body. I needed to touch him and be touched by him. I felt only minutely guilty for the fact that I was about to wake Edward from what appeared to be a rather peaceful sleep but I needed him.

He rolled to his side as I gently lifted the covers from his naked form running my hands up his powerful thighs, over his hip and around his perfectly firm ass. I leaned forward running my tongue across his abdomen as I admired his finely sculpted body, and his wild disarray of bronze sex hair. He was mine, all mine. And I loved him.

I reached out sliding my hand up and over the top of his impeccable length and I watched as he grew hard almost immediately. I lowered my head and brought the tip of my tongue from the glorious base to the beautiful tip of his erection, my eyes quickly darting to meet his as one corner of his luscious lips pulled back into the most sexy smile he'd ever given me.

His breath hitched as I took his entire length into my mouth, ignoring the urge to gag as his tip hit the back of my throat. I moaned as his fingers threaded through my hair, the vibrations drawing a feral moan from his own lips. I pulled back and spoke in what I hoped was a sultry voice.

"You like my mouth on you, don't you, Edward?"

He swallowed hard and with a hoarse voice whispered "Yes, god yes."

A slow smile spread across my face as I leaned back in and licked the pre-cum from his tip, rolling my tongue around his length before softly sucking his head into my mouth.

"Mmmm… baby. You feel so fucking good, your mouth is so fucking hot." he moaned as I felt him begin to swell and pulse inside my mouth. He came hard and I swallowed every last drop, licking my lips seductively as I released his length from my mouth.

"Your absolutely delicious, baby." I purred as I smacked my lips together.

I straddled his hips lowering myself over his hard length, his fingers immediately found my throbbing nub rubbing tight circles before applying a light pinch causing me to scream out his name.

"Fuck, your so sweet" He groaned after bringing his fingers to his lips, sucking them clean. "and so fucking tight, baby. I love watching you ride me and pinching these gorgeous fucking nipples." He continued while bringing his large hands to my breasts.

We fell over the edge together, crying out for each other.

"I'm sorry for waking you, baby. I just needed you so much." I whispered as I snuggled into his side.

"Bella, baby. You can wake me up like this any damn time you please, beautiful."

***************

I was so excited as I entered the doctors office for my sixteen week check up, I loved to the baby's heartbeat. Edward had an important meeting today and couldn't make it but he had come to the first two appointments I'd had.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Cullen, how are you feeling today?" Dr. Gerandy asked.

"Great, I'm feeling great. A little tired most days but mostly I feel great." I told him.

"Anymore greats in that sentence and I'm not so sure I would believe you. Are you certain everything is ok?"

"Yes" I laughed nervously "I'm just excited, I love hearing the baby's heart beat. Knowing that he or she is really in there, alive and well." I responded as I gently rubbed my stomach.

"Well you'll be even more excited in two weeks time, I have an appointment booked for your first ultrasound. You'll get to see your baby, take pictures home and maybe even find out the sex, if you want."

I actually squealed as I bounced up and down in my seat. Edward and had decided that we were definitely going to find out the sex of the baby as soon as we had a chance. He was initially unsure of whether or not he wanted to know but he quickly came around once he realised that we could start shopping for gender appropriate items for the baby, not to mention spend more time on names for the proper sex.

I was so excited to tell him about the ultrasound appointment when I finally got home that I rushed to his office to share my news. I stopped myself from entering because I could hear that he was on the phone and didn't want to interrupt. I turned to walk away but stood frozen in place as I heard his next words.

"What happened the last time I was Cleveland should not have gone as far as it did, Irina, It was initially my intention to end this whole arrangement when I arrived. I had planned to tell you that I was married and intended to stay faithful to my wife."

_Arrangement? Just how many fucking arrangements did the man have? Should not have gone as far as it did… just how far is that?_

I was eavesdropping and I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help it. I mean holy fuck, how many god damn women are going to keep popping up. I know that I need to accept that the man has a rather extensive past and for the most part I have, but we were together when he went to Cleveland last and now that I think about it this kind of helped to explain the days that followed his return. I knew it couldn't just be about the baby. I immediately began to wonder how much of a fool I really was, I had been so confident that both he and Jasper were telling me the truth about Lauren but were they? I wasn't so sure anymore, maybe it had just been wishful thinking on my part and the fact that I truly wanted things to be ok.

"Look, Irina, we've been over this. I thought we were in agreement over the past couple of years that this was nothing more than what it was. Sex." _Couple of years… he's been involved with her for that long?_ He paused, she must have been responding.

"I'm not trying to be disrespectful towards you, it was great, really great. I enjoyed the time we spent together, you know that but I can't do it anymore. I love my wife and we're expecting our first child, I refuse to do anything to fuck this up." _It was great, really great? _My chest tightened and my heart began to beat against my chest erratically, I'm such an idiot. How many other women had it been _great_ with, or sorry _really great _with since we've been together, how many since we had decided to make a real go at our marriage?

I couldn't bring myself to care that it sounded like he already attempted to end whatever it was that he had going on with this Irina, I was most likely only hearing what I wanted to hear because I was once again heartbroken by this man. I felt the first tears slip from eyes and cursed my overly active pregnancy hormones again. I was so tired of running away but I still needed to get the hell out of here.

I quickly through a few outfits in a bag, I still had a ton of clothes at my apartment but most of it wouldn't really fit right now and I wasn't going there anyway. I walked passed his office door on my way out, hearing him placate her once again.

"You know it wasn't like that, Irina, you know as well as anyone that you were the only woman I continually went back to and for good reason…" I couldn't hear anymore, he was trying to tell her how much he cared about her, would he tell her he loved her too even though he'd always tell me that he never felt this way about anyone, never loved, or even cared about anyone but his family.

I walked out of the house and out of Edward Cullen's life, and I made my way to Rose's apartment. She automatically pulled me into her arms the moment she had opened the door, I had cried the entire way there and knew I had to be a sight for sore eyes. I am sure that I looked just as pathetic as I felt after the things I heard him say to her.

I spent the first few days curled up on Rose's bed, frustrated and depressed. Edward had been calling my cell constantly, he was frantic when I never returned home from the doctors. I listened to the first few messages and knew that he was concerned enough that I had to at least send him a quick text, especially after Alice started calling me as well the first morning after I left.

I told him that I knew he'd been cheating on me and that I really didn't know what I wanted to do, he just needed to give me some time. He denied it in his first message say he had no idea what I was talking about but I just deleted the rest as he left them, I wasn't interested in his excuses at the moment.

Did he think I was a moron, I can understand one misunderstanding as far as Lauren went but it's rare to have more than one completely fucked up situation like this. Plus I heard him say that something had happened in Cleveland.

It wasn't until a week and half later that Rose finally got up the nerve to tell me what she thought I needed to hear.

"You know, if I remember correctly it wasn't until after he came back from Cleveland that the two of you decided to treat your marriage as a real marriage and stay together. Sure he made a promise not to be with other women but it sounds like she was around long before you and he ended it for you."

"Rose! He told me he was falling in love with me before he went there, and still something happened."

"Yes, but you also said that he was fucked up over that shit. I just think you should have at least heard him out before taking any drastic measures, you were completely aware of his past and what he was like. Of course there would be shit to deal with at first, no relationship is perfect, Bella. You guys came a long way in the couple months before this, I think you'll regret it if you don't talk to him."

"I know, he still calls or texts at least a dozen times a day. Asking how I am, how the baby is. He doesn't even know about the ultrasound on Friday, I know he'd love to see that. I don't know…" I sighed "Maybe I'll call him and see if he wants to go."

"I think you should."

"Yea, Alice says she has never seen him this way. You're right, I'm going to call him tonight to see if he wants to there for the ultrasound. I'm sure well also talk a bit then.

**Edward POV: Just a little snippet as I do not plan to write a full chapter from Edward's perspective again just yet.**

I hated the fact that I had to miss today's doctors appointment, they were the highlight of my day whenever we got to hear the heartbeat. I had told my father that I was going to steal a stethoscope from him next time I was over, just so we could hear our baby's heart beat whenever we wanted. My father just laughed at me, obviously not used to seeing this side of me.

My meeting finished up a early, but not early enough to catch up with Bella at her appointment so I headed home to wait for her. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I cursed when I noticed that it was Irina yet again. I had contacted her once all the dust had settled here, after my return from Cleveland and explained my departure. She hadn't been happy when I told her that she wouldn't be hearing from me anymore, she had become more upset than I had expected. Hell I hadn't expected her to be upset at all, disappointed maybe because the sex really was something else. (Not that it compared to what I share with Bella, but it was good nonetheless)

I let her call go to voicemail and called her back once I was settled in my office. I was utterly surprised to learn just how wrong I'd been that we had been on the same page, she didn't see me as a casual fuck, as I did her.

She admitted she knew that we were not committed and that I obviously seen other women here in Chicago, but also mentioned that she had assumed that since I never bothered seeing anyone but her during my various trips to Cleveland. Other than those that she introduced to our activities, that she was something more than she was.

She told me she was heart broken that I had married another woman, and she thought that everything she had introduced me to would be enough to hold my attention. I was flabbergasted, she was as cold as I was and we had even discussed at one point when we met that we served each other's purpose and that was all. If I had known that it had changed on her end I would ended this shit long ago.

When she tried to tell me that she had feelings for me and that I must have too because she knew me and knew that I would never see the same woman for over two years unless I did, I was quick to correct her. Reminding her that if she really thought about it, she knew different. Besides she made it sound like we were involved regularly for over two years when in reality I seen her three or four times a year and nothing more, that was what maybe ten or twelve times in total.

"You know it wasn't like that, Irina, you know as well as anyone that you were the only woman I continually went back to and for good reason. We agreed from the start when it came to compatibility we were great for a fuck and nothing more, we both liked to fuck and be fucked, no commitments, no feelings. Anything you might have thought was going on beyond that was completely one sided and if I had known I would ended things sooner."

I was pretty clear this time and definitely certain that I wouldn't be hearing from her anymore. I made some dinner and waited around for Bella to get home… she never came.

I was frantic, I contacted the doctors office but they were now closed, I called Alice and she hadn't heard from her. I went by her apartment but she hadn't been there. My dad contacted area hospitals trying to locate her with no luck at all. She had a friend Rose that she visits and has lunch and what not with but I had never met her, I had no idea how to get a hold of her.

It was like she had disappeared off the face of the earth, she never came home, called or even texted until the following morning. I was shocked that we were back to this shit again, she was accusing me of fucking around. I didn't know if she was back to the Lauren issue or if this had been something new.

I called and texted constantly hoping she would call me back so I could figure out what the hell was going on before I drove myself crazy with worry. I had noticed an appointment card for an X-ray and Ultrasound clinic on the counter when I had first exited my office after talking to Irina but didn't put the two together until she had been gone a few days.

I had just sent what was probably my tenth text of the day to her when suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks, she had been home. That card was not there when I first got home, she must have come in when I was talking to Irina. Shit, she must have heard my conversation. That has to be why she left so abruptly, not saying a word.

I tried to think back to everything that was said and my heart dropped into my stomach when her accusing me of cheating on her finally made sense. My messages at that point changed to begging her to listen to me, I couldn't believe that this was happening again. Only this time I actually had some explaining to do, I should have told when I came back like I had intended to before all that other shit fucking went on.

I made the decision that I was showing up at that appointment if I didn't hear from Bella before then, hopefully she doesn't change it for some reason.

A full week had gone by and I'd still not heard a word besides the one message and I was going out of my mind, I managed to get by knowing that there was a good chance I might see her at her appointment.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief three days later when my cell rang and Bella's name flashed across the screen.

"Bella" I breathed "is everything ok, baby?"

The line was silent for a moment and I thought for sure that she had changed her mind and hung up.

"Hi" She spoke quietly "Everything is fine, Edward. I was just actually calling because I have an appointment on Friday that I thought you might like to come to."

"I'd love to, thank you. I saw the card on the counter, I really hoped I wouldn't miss it."

"I know, listen I was thinking I might stop by tonight or tomorrow. Just whenever you have time, I figured we should probably talk. I was going to wait for the appointment but that would probably just be awkward, I think it makes more sense to talk before." She was rambling, which meant she was nervous. I had no clue if that was a good thing or not, did she want to talk simply to end things or would she actually listen to me?

"Tonight, I would really like to see you tonight. I could make dinner for you I… it's been too long and I haven't been able to feel the baby, I can't sleep without saying good night to both of you." I heard her choke back a sob and instantly worried that I had said the wrong thing and maybe she wouldn't come now.

"Alright, that sounds really good, Edward. I should be there within the hour." I hated to hear the tears in her voice, I had made her cry but I was comforted by her words. They sounded promising…

**A/N: All characters belong to SM.**


	11. Ch 11 Touching Moments

**Bella POV: **

I was nervous as hell when I approached the front door, with a trembling hand I knocked lightly. Edward pulled the door open so quickly that I knew he must have been watching for me, his eyes hurriedly took in my entire form as though he were searching for any possible change or injury since he last seen me.

I found myself being pulled into his arms as he hugged me tightly, placing a kiss on my right temple. I wrapped my arms around his waist for a moment, revelling in the heat, strength and love that I felt from his embrace before stepping back.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I hope that didn't make you uncomfortable. I just needed to touch you, I've missed you." He murmured as he stepped aside, gesturing for me to enter. "Come, dinner is ready."

"Thank you, it smells wonderful."

We sat and ate in a comfortable silence, regardless of the awkward conversation we knew was sure to come. He had a prepared a simple dinner of pasta with a roasted red pepper and garlic sauce, it was delicious. He insisted we leave the dishes for him to rinse and load in the dishwasher later, he didn't want to waste time that could be spent concentrating solely on us.

"How have you been, is everything going ok with the pregnancy?" Was his first concern as we settled into our seats along the couch. I can't deny that it warmed my heart to hear Edward Cullen, the once thought perpetual bachelor, man-whore, a formerly selfish, cold, egotistical bastard to anxiously show such concern for both me and our unborn child.

I was still unsure of just how much I wanted to hear about Cleveland and Irina, I felt like a hypocrite as I sat here wondering how much of his betrayal I could forgive. I had committed my own betrayal, sure I had done so to a complete stranger. I hadn't betrayed a man I claimed to love but I was sure that once he had knowledge of the truth, the truth of how he came to love me, to father a child with me however unintentional it was, the truth of what had really brought us here. I could only hope that he would not resent this baby, I couldn't bare having my child grow up seeing his or her father's hate and anger instilled in them.

I brushed my feelings aside for the time being, I would speak my own truth soon enough depending on how this went. Part of me knew it was wrong but I would keep that truth from him to protect my child, every child needs their father and I wasn't prepared to take my child's away. If we went our separate ways he would never learn the truth, but if we chose to stay together I would have to take the chance and be open and honest. He needed to make an informed decision, we both needed to be able to make an informed decision where our relationship was concerned.

"I've been good, Edward. We both have." I told him placing my hand over my ever growing belly. I was over eighteen weeks now, going on five months and showing it.

He shocked me by standing quickly and excusing himself before entering his office, he returned moments later with something in his hand. I laughed when I realised that he had held true to his word when he threatened to steal/borrow a stethoscope from Carlisle. He wanted to hear as our child's heart beat in my womb.

He had changed, little by little he was not the same man I had married all those months ago.

"May I?" He asked as he sat next to me, his hand hovering over my swollen belly.

"Of course." He gently raised my shirt until my stomach was fully exposed to him and proceeded to gently rub his hand in large circles around my belly. He placed the buds of the stethoscope in his ears before taking a moment to warm the end between his hands and then placed it on my belly, slowly shifting it around until a bright smile appeared on his face. He had found what he needed to hear, the healthy beating heart of the child we had created together.

He looked up at me with glistening eyes. "I'm so sorry, that was extremely selfish of me." He spoke quietly "I should have let you go first, I wasn't thinking about anything except the fact that it's been almost six weeks since I've heard this. I hate that I missed the last appointment."

"It's ok, can I hear it now?" I asked bringing my hand to cup the side of his face. I missed the feel of him, that familiar energy that flowed from one to the other as we touched.

"Sure" He smiled… shyly? Was Edward seriously feeling insecure?

"Right there! Stop." I told him as I heard the soft beats in my ears. The smile he offered me next weakened me, if I had been standing my legs would surely have given out on me. I pulled the stethoscope from my ears and tossed it aside before lunging ungracefully at Edward.

His lips froze against mine for a moment before he returned my kiss he ran his fingers through my hair pulling me closer as he leaned back against the couch. I slowly climbed into his lap, straddling his legs as I ground my now throbbing center against his hard length.

We had somehow quickly stripped each other of our clothes and I lowered myself onto him, feeling as I stretch and molded myself so perfectly around his firm erection. His hands were everywhere, caressing my body as I rotated my hips, pressing even further against him.

He adjusted himself, while grasping my bottom and managed to not break our connection as he stood and carried me over to the table just inside the kitchen area. He carefully set me down so that my ass was just barely hanging over the edge, the table was the high pub style but where he was so tall it suited us perfectly at times like these.

He smiled down at me as I braced myself on my elbows, I could feel every little shift his body made. I was shocked at how different it felt for him to be in me, I'm certain it was a mixture of things, the change in my body pregnancy wise, the fact that even though we had yet to make up this was still hot make up sex, and the change in position as he entered me at this angle.

I watched as his long, hard length disappeared as he entered me and reappeared as he pulled back. I was so fucking wet for him, I wanted him so badly I almost couldn't handle just how much I did. I couldn't help but think about how many times something like this had happened between us, how many different times we'd fucked, not caring where we were or what we were doing at the moment. Neither one of us able to control the sudden urge to have the other. I smiled internally at how ironic our current position was, he had after all invited me for dinner.

"God what is it with us, we're like a couple of horny teenagers." I panted.

"Only with you, baby. I can never get enough of you, not in this lifetime or even the next."

He pulled out a bit, then pushed back into me groaning in pleasure as he did it once more and I grasped his shoulders pulling him towards me as I bit into the side of his neck hard enough to leave my mark, yet gentle enough not to draw blood. He hissed loudly slamming back into me.

"Do you like that, baby?" He ground out.

"Oh, yes! Fuck yes!" I cried.

"This… thrust… feels… thrust… too… thrust… fucking good… thrust… baby." He whispered his voice raspy and intense "Too long, baby… it's been too long… promise me… we'll never go so… fucking long again… I can't… I just can't."

"Jesus, fuck" I screamed out "no, never… never again!"

He began pumping hard and fast, his movements now frantic as we lost ourselves in one another losing all control once again. I whispered his name several times, fisting his hair, coaxing his exquisite mouth to my breasts. His lips enveloped my nipple and softly bit down causing the dam to slowly, painfully begin to crumble as I felt myself begin to constrict around his length.

"Bella, cum for me, love, let go…" He ordered and I did, holding my breath as I felt myself explode. It was an amazing sensation as Edward began to expand inside of me filling me with his fluids. I moaned against his lips as my nails dug deep into his shoulders.

"That was… wow, baby. There are just no words right now." He mumbled into my shoulder.

"Yea, I know" I panted "I'm beginning to love this pregnancy sex, it feels… different, like my body is so much more aware of every little sensation. It's unexplainable really."

He laughed and fully agreed with me. "I love you, so much, Bella."

"Me too." I said quietly

We had both finally gotten dressed, well partially anyway. I had slipped on my panties and Edwards shirt while he stood before me in his boxers. Making me want him all over again, but he effectively ruined the moment by bringing us back to reality.

"As much as I hate to bring it up, I really think we need to talk, Bella."

"Ok." I sighed, still not quite ready to hear the things that I knew I needed to.

" I'll start by saying that I think I know what happened, why you left." I raised an eyebrow in question at him as he spoke.

"You overheard me on the phone, after your appointment right?" I cringed and he knew he was correct.

"I did, so why don't you tell me about Cleveland and… Irina." I told him as serenely as possible.

"Right. Where to start." He mumbled to himself. "Ok, first of all, I have not been with… I haven't slept with her since we've been together."

I didn't miss how he had changed his wording in order to more suit what he was trying to say. So he hadn't fucked her but that still left many different activities that I would still be uncomfortable with. "So what exactly happened?" He looked away from me at my question and began to tell his tale.

"You already know that I was struggling with admitting to my feelings, I wasn't only struggling to admit them to you but me as well. I was angry with myself for allowing you to get to me, I didn't feel like myself around you and it took me a while to realise that that was a good thing. I was changing for the better and didn't know it." He furrowed his brows and I could tell that he was trying to decide what and how much he could tell me.

"You can tell me anything, Edward. I just want to know the truth, I want to be able to trust you. That's all."

"I know, I just… it had never bothered me before but with you, I'm ashamed of parts of my past. Irina, she was someone I had met a couple of years ago when I was in Cleveland on business. She noticed me having a drink in the hotel bar after a meeting, she knew who I was and pursued me aggressively actually. Maybe that should have been my warning." He kind of whispered the last part to himself as though it were meant more for him than me. He was opening up to me, being honest so I just sat back and listened.

"Anyway, she was different from other women, a lot like me. We seemed to quickly have an understanding as to the fact that we weren't looking for more than… sex. So I would see her whenever I went to Cleveland, that was maybe three or four times a year. I normally wouldn't allow myself to be with the same person more than a couple of times, it helped me keep my distance and ensure that no one expected more than I could offer. Which was nothing emotionally, I was only ever interested in the physical and she got that." He braved a glance at me and I offered him a small smile to encourage him to continue.

"It was easy with her, I could concentrate on business and never even give thought to trying to meet someone if I was… or wanted anything while there. I'm not proud of it, Bella."

"I know, it's fine. I mean it, I'm not oblivious to your past so feel free to continue…"

"As you know, I was not in a good place when I left but I still intended to tell her about you. We don't really talk in between visits so I hadn't seen or talked to her in order to mention our marriage. I set out to do that and then got to thinking and I was feeling sorry for myself and blaming you for making me feel things that I had no idea even existed for me, and when I showed up at her house she greeted me." He nervously cleared his throat and I knew this was where the important part was coming.

"She was naked when she answered the door, and she kissed me." He looked up at me again "I kissed her back."

"Anything else?" I asked after he'd been quiet for a moment or so. He inhaled deeply.

"I touched her… just her sides, nothing else. It didn't even do anything for me, I wasn't remotely interested in the naked woman in front of me. I was thinking about you and trying hard not to because of my own sheer stupidity so I was easily distracted for a moment. I looked down and she…"

He groaned before continuing. "She had her hands in my, ah pants and was going to, well she wanted to do something else as well but I backed away from her. Put myself to rights and left, I haven't seen her since but I did make sure by phone later that she was aware of you, of us. All of it was wrong and I know I'm a fucking asshole but I need you to know that it was a big part of what made me realise how I truly felt about you and that I wanted and needed you in my life."

"I came home with every intention of telling you everything, including the fact that I loved you, but everything was so fucked up when I came back that I just shoved it aside for the time being."

We were both quiet for a moment and he was begging me with his eyes to be able to accept this, accept him. He wanted forgiveness and I was pretty sure that I was willing to try. I love him and our situation is not at all easy, Rose also had a point. We technically were not together until after that trip, although it would take some time to fully trust him I knew for sure that I wanted to try.

"That's everything then? There won't be anymore surprises?" I had to ask.

"No more surprises. I want to be with you, just you. The idea of anything else is far from even the slightest bit appealing to me, I promise you that." His voice cracked, and I thought it was the sweetest thing that he was affected by us.

"It's going to take time for me to trust that we're ok, logically I know it shouldn't because our circumstances were different before Cleveland but I can't help how I feel."

"I know, love." He said as he moved closer to me, pulling me into his arms again. "I don't blame you, I'm just glad your giving me another chance even though I probably don't deserve it. You are giving me another chance right? Isn't that what you mean?"

"It's precisely what I mean." I told him and shed a few tears. I was happy that we were moving forward but saddened by the thoughts of another woman having him in her hand as she stood naked in front of him. Their relationship sounded… off and I knew there were probably things he was holding back, secrets.

Something we all seemed to carry with us…

I was most likely being far too eager to accept his explanations as the truth and maybe what little did happen with Irina should have bothered me more but I was ready for this fucked up chapter of our lives to be over. I know that I have to take the bad with the good, his past was not the most appealing but it is a part of what made him who he is. All I could do was hope that when I chose to tell him about my plan to become Mrs. Edward Cullen that he would be able to find it in himself to be as forgiving as I've been.

We spent the evening in bed, Edward was showing me physically how much I meant to him and I was loving it. He was sweet, loving and even romantic leaving me feeling special and loved by him. He brought me to climax at least half a dozen times and in the end we had both screamed out each others names and moaned loudly, as we reached the final peak of our pleasure for the night.

We were both hot and sticky, unable to get comfortable because of it. Edward chose to run us a bath and called me in when it was ready, he leaned naked over the tub turning off the tap. His ass was muscular and toned, he was sexy as hell and I was thinking with the mind of a boy crazy teenager. I had no idea how I could even be considering needing to have him again, he turned and smirked as he caught me staring and pulled me to stand naked in front of the mirror with him.

"I look at you the same way, baby, look at yourself. Your beautiful, sexy and fucking irresistible." He whispered as he ran his hands up and down my sides and then around to rest on my stomach.

He surprised me as he dropped to one knee in front of me with his hands on my hips and looked up at me, it took me a moment to take in what he was doing.

"I love you, Isabella Marie Cullen. Marry me… in front of our family and friends, because we love each other, want to grow old together, have a family together. I don't have a ring right now but I'll get one…"

"Stop it." I cried. "Of course I'd marry you all over again, sober of course and I don't need another ring Edward. Now please get up and get in the bath or put some fucking clothes on, I can't believe that Edward Cullen just proposed marriage to his pregnant wife while down on one knee in the bathroom and naked. Christ, I'm beginning to wonder why your always naked whenever we have these types of conversations." He just laughed as he pulled me down kissing me passionately.

"Life is never boring with me, baby." He chuckled.

Once again, I was being selfish yet not. Selfish because I didn't want to lose him and was certain I would if he knew and not so selfish because I was trying to do what was best for my child, our child.

I argued with my conscience, my mind telling me to keep this to myself while my heart knew that this was not a secret I could carry with me. It was not a secret that I could keep from someone I love, from my baby's daddy.

I couldn't let our relationship be based on a lie, I just needed to find the right words, the right time…

**A/N: I want to thank everyone for all the fav story and story alerts, it's great to see all the interest being shown in one of my fics. So thank you!**

**All characters belong to SM.**


	12. Ch 12 A Consequential Orgasm

**Bella's Pov**

It was November and Thanksgiving was right around the corner and I was due in a little over six weeks. We were going to be holding our little bundle of joy in our arms by the end of December and I couldn't be more excited.

There had been so much going on in our lives, our relationship that not even one full week after I had moved back home with Edward I ended up in the hospital. I had been cramping and eventually began to notice some spotting in my panties, I guess spotting is not quite accurate because it looked like I had had one of my heavier menstrual cycles and forgone a tampon.

I was home alone and scared to death, my hands trembled as I tried to dial Edward's cell, it went straight to voicemail so I left a message.

After hanging up I called for an ambulance, I didn't have time to wait for anyone else to show up. I'd rather be safe than sorry even if it was embarrassing being taken away in an ambulance.

It had turned out to be all the stress surrounding us that caused the cramping and bleeding, and I was placed on a mild form of bed rest for a couple of weeks. Edward had been so upset that he had missed the call, he had been in a meeting. That I swear he looked as though he were about to have a break down.

I knew that I needed to talk to him, that he needed to know the truth but after this I had to decide what would be more stressful, hence cause more harm to my child. Yes, I was under stress from not telling him but that stress would be tenfold if we fought and he left and I wasn't sure I could handle it.

I wasn't planning not to tell him, I was just putting it off until I was no longer on bed rest and at risk of suffering a miscarriage. I frequently wondered if this was karma's way of kicking me in the butt, was I such a horrible person that I had to go through everything our relationship had been threatened with and now my child, my son. I had finally found out that we were having a boy, a little Edward and I prayed that he would look just like his dad.

After a couple of weeks everything was back to normal, my doctor had even okayed a trip to Cleveland with Edward. He had a contract to finalize and said he'd feel better if I went, so I agreed. It was an interesting trip to say the least, I finally got to meet Irina and I didn't feel any better for it.

She was tall, blond, statuesque and gorgeous, definitely more the type of woman I saw Edward with. We had been having dinner in the hotel restaurant and I'd had to make one of my many bathroom runs, as I was returning to the table I had noticed two women talking to him. He didn't seem pleased and angrily shoved something on the table back towards the blond, who had been running a finger down his arm.

My initial instinct had been to run but I knew I was being ridiculous, so I continued moving forward towards our table. I could see my food had arrived and I was starving, Edward noticed me right away and stood to pull out my chair like the gentleman he was. The blond stared at me, looking at my stomach with disgust while the other woman with the long jet black hair just looked bored.

Edward tried dismissing them with a quick it was nice seeing you, but we'd like to get back to our dinner. The blond wasn't having it though, she leaned across the table offering her hand.

"Hi, I'm Irina Denali, and you are?"

My jaw clenched involuntarily but I recovered quickly only briefly glancing at Edward before reaching out to shake her hand and respond.

"Bella Cullen, it's lovely to meet you." Edward smiled at the use of his surname, it is after all mine as well but he knew I was making a point with her.

"This is a close friend of mine, Jane." She said introducing her friend to me. " Edward never did learn her name when he was last here, the three of us had gotten together but he was a little too distracted for proper introductions."

My head snapped in his direction while his snapped in her direction and I swear I heard the man growl at her. "It's time to go, Irina, get the fuck away from my table and my wife and take this with you." He hissed as he shoved a key card into her hand. So she had been trying to get him to her room…

She looked shocked momentarily but quickly pulled it together, bid us a good day and was on her way.

Once in our room I demanded that he explain what she had meant and he did. I learned more than I really would have cared to about their relationship, and I have to say that it left me feeling… self conscious to say the least.

"Bella, I left out the specifics because you and I have two completely different histories. Yours is nonexistent, you're an angel in every sense of the word. I often wonder how I was ever so lucky to find you, I do not deserve a woman as wonderful as you."

"Yes, you do. You are a good man, Edward, you've just made some not so good choices. Irina, is one of them and after her comment I would like you to tell me about it."

"Fine, when I showed up at her house her friend was also there… naked and no, I never touched her."

"Is that something you two did often, involve other people?" I wasn't sure just how much I wanted to hear exactly, but it appeared I was not in control of my mouth . I hadn't chosen to ask the question, it just kind of came out.

"Yes" He wasn't offering much so I knew we were back to him not wanting to disclose too much information, but I had a masochistic urge to know.

"How often?"

"Bella, please do not ask questions that you are sure to not want to know the answers to." He warned.

"I said how fucking often, Edward?"

"Often enough, Bella, I told you I only came here three or four times a year, I'd been with her maybe a dozen times. I would say that six or so of those times included other people." I cringed but still continued to question him.

"Always other women, or were there men too?" It was his turn to cringe but he also looked to be getting angry at my line of questioning.

"Both" I glared at him, waiting for more than a one word answer. He held my glare for a moment before finally giving in. "Do you really want the specifics, Bella? Because I can give them to you, but I guarantee… you will not like what you hear."

"Yes" I responded icily. His faced turned red, he hadn't really expected me to call him on it.

"Alright then, Irina and I both like to fuck, we liked to fuck hard none of this vanilla bullshit of everyday life. We liked to use things like vibrators, dildos, cock rings and enjoyed a little bondage, she also liked shit shoved up her ass. Yes, we've included other women in which we'd both fuck them and fuck each other, we've also invited other couples, swingers as you may know them, and switched off partners as well as engaged in a group fuck." He was definitely angry and I was in shock, such a state of shock that although I didn't want to hear anymore, I couldn't find my voice to stop him and he was too angry to stop himself.

"If you need that explained" he roared "well Irina would ride me reverse cowgirl with a vibrating butt plug shoved in her while sucking the other guys dick, and Victoria, the other woman squatted over my face. Let's see what else, I wouldn't want to leave any of my past in the fucking past. Oh, yes we've attended an orgy together, but I couldn't tell you how many different woman I'd fucked that night! I think that's about all, is there anything else you need to know, Bella?" He spat, I didn't like the way my name sounded on his lips when he was so angry with me.

I blinked and instantly tears poured down my face, I was pregnant, hormonal, shocked, and now felt severely inadequate as Edward Cullen's wife. There was no way that I could hold the attention of a man who was interested in that kind of stuff, and he had referred to our sex life as vanilla. I cried and he tried to reach out to me with a horrified expression on his face.

"Don't fucking touch me, Edward, I am so fucking disgusted in you right now." I don't think I was disgusted in his previous involvements so much as the fact that he had laid it all out there in such a horrid fashion. He was shockingly blunt. Hell I had just asked about threesomes, with both men and woman, I didn't ask for the rest of it nor had I expected it but I guess I now knew the real Edward Cullen.

I had climbed into bed and nodded off for a few hours, when I woke I noticed that Edward had climbed in with me and was holding me from behind. He wasn't sleeping, his breathing pattern alerted me to that. I sniffed and he pulled me tighter against his chest.

"I'm so sorry, love. I know that is not what you asked for but shit I told you that when it comes to you I am ashamed of my past and then you just kept pushing, I was angry that you were making me tell you things that I just didn't want you to have to know about me."

It's fine." I mumbled.

"No, it's not. Your disgusted by me now, you said so yourself."

"I admit that a few things you mentioned freaked me out a little, and just so you know I'd never take part in them."

"I wouldn't want you to, I love your innocence. It turns me on more than any of that other shit, you are it for me. I love everything about you."

"Well I'm sorry that you feel our sex life is so… vanilla, I don't mean to bore you but I've only ever been with you. I don't have experience to back me up." He turned me over to face him and stared into my eyes.

"Is that what you think, that you bore me? Fuck, Bella, I never meant it like that. It's just a term to use for sex that doesn't include any of that twisted shit, the last thing I would call sex with you is boring. You are responsible for the best fucking sex, blowjobs, and anything else I've ever had, you make me cum harder than anyone ever has without even trying. Oh god, don't cry." He whispered as he watched the moisture build in my eyes.

"I won't, I'm just emotional I'm pregnant remember… I can't believe you've done all those things."

"I know you are and I am so happy because of it, and sometimes I can't believe it either. I wish I could go back and just be the man that you need me to be, a man that you could be proud to call your husband and never feel the need to question who he is or what you mean to him."

He held me and we drifted off to sleep, both spending the entire night wrapped up in one another fully clothed. Neither of us had gotten up to change, it was the most uncomfortable, comfortable sleep of my life if that makes any sense at all.

We woke the following morning, both feeling exhausted although we had slept through the night, it had been a rather long day previously and I think we were still feeling somewhat awkward about the words we'd had.

Edward refused to release me from his hold until he felt that we were ok with each other, and we'd joked that it was hardly gentlemanly behaviour to threaten a pregnant woman, with a full bladder with holding her hostage. Even if I would thoroughly enjoy it.

"Bella, I don't care about any of the stuff we talked about last night, you are more than enough for me. In fact you are exactly what I was looking for, I just never knew it… not until you came along. You are everything I never knew I wanted, I want you. I know it will work . . . that _we_ will work. I can feel it and I think you can too. I can't say that it didn't scare the shit out of me or that I'm not scared now because I am. I have never felt this way about anyone before." He took a deep breath. "I just need to know that you can see a future with me, after all this, knowing who I was. Can you still see it, see us?

"Yes" I whispered. It was one thing I was sure of, he would be a part of my future no matter what. He was far too invested in this baby now to walk away from him, even if in the end he left me. "I don't mean to get so upset but it can't be helped sometimes. It terrifies me to know that I could feel this way so quickly, that I could feel so much so quickly for someone, Edward. This is new to both of us."

"I know, me too but we'll get through everything just fine. I promise. We are stronger than we might sometimes think, Bella. We just need to have a little faith in one another."

He was right. Faith is important.

**********

"I forget to tell you, Edward, I also invited Rose to dinner this weekend. You don't mind do you?"

"Absolutely not, I was beginning to wonder when I would meet her. You never bring her to the house."

I had decided that I was not going to spend one more special day without Rose, nor leave her to spend the holiday alone. We were all that each of us had left and I wanted her here, we are family. I knew Edward would wonder why I had never mentioned her since he does in fact know her. I finally worked up the nerve to discuss it with him as we walked through the grocery store, picking up everything we would need for our holiday feast.

"Actually you already know her, Edward, she works for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Um, I mean that she does a job that you pay her for." I tried making light of it hoping that he wouldn't think too much about it.

"I get that, Bella, why have you not mentioned it before now?"

"I don't know, it just never came up. Her job does not define her, Edward, for the most part it just never occurred to me." Lies, lies and more lies, I am going to hell.

It seemed for the time being that Edward was fine with and had accepted my answer and I guess without knowing the truth about our marriage, he never really had a reason to think much of it.

"How do you put up with the wait, Bella, I have no patience for this." He complained as we waited in the rather long check out line, this was actually the first time he had ever accompanied me to the grocery store.

"You have no patience period, it's high time you learn some as you… are going to be a daddy in the very near future." An annoyed look first crossed his face at my initial comment before he smiled brightly, he was happy at the prospect of having a son.

He wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me against him after paying for the groceries, the cashier had been flirting with him shamelessly and I could tell by the way he watched me out of the corner of his eyes that he thought I would be angry with him. I was hormonal yes, but shit, I was used to the fact that my husband was fucking gorgeous and women fawned over him constantly. I was getting used to it.

"So, are you interested in putting these beautifully skilled hands to use in the kitchen with me tomorrow?" I asked seductively as I stroked the back of his hand.

"It's tempting," He laughed "unfortunately, I know for a fact that my mother will kick me out of the kitchen. You too, for that matter. She'll at least insist that you stay seated if you refuse to leave the kitchen."

"You do realise that we could team up, take back the kitchen. It is ours after all." I joked.

"Yea, I'll leave that to you. You, are a brave, brave woman, love, but I'm staying out of it."

"Your such a chicken shit, I can't believe you would tuck tail and run on your extremely pregnant wife." I scoffed, feigning disappointment in him. It's times like this that I wish we had honestly just fallen into each others lives in the way that he believes. We've had a difficult time of things but it still would have been so much easier.

We finally returned to the house after a long afternoon of shopping, ordered take out and settled in for the night. We had an early morning and I had thought that Edward and I would at least have the morning to prepare everything together before everyone showed up. I was wrong, Esme was on our door step before we had officially even gotten out of bed.

Edward had of course been right, I didn't argue and successfully stayed out of Esme's way as she prepared what was supposed to be the very first family dinner party that Edward and I were hosting. At first I hated it, I was annoyed by it but I know she didn't mean anything by it and was just trying to do what was right as I was due soon and had been on bed rest not that long ago.

So I got over it and decided to enjoy the day. I was disappointed that Alice and Jasper were visiting his family this year for the holiday but at least Rose was here. Edward had been surprised to find out that she was actually one of his own assistants but let it go quickly, Emmett on the other hand didn't get over it so quickly. He was smitten.

He was still casually seeing Claire, the woman he had brought to the Gala but she was visiting her family. Emmett and Rose hit it off really well, he had recognised her from the office but had had very little interaction with her, work wise.

I managed to sneak away when I noticed that Edward had been gone for a while, he was sitting in his office looking at the latest ultrasound pictures. I snuck in unnoticed by Edward, he must have been deep in thought. I leaned over and gently kissed his cheek while sliding both hands down either side of his shoulders, caressing his chest before circling him and slipping into his lap.

"Hi" I whispered leaning in for a kiss.

"Hi" he murmured as our lips met.

"What you doing in here all alone?"

"Waiting for you." He smirked.

"Liar" I whispered and he chuckled.

"I was sitting out there, watching everyone and I got to thinking about how quickly things change. That is my family out there, minus Alice and Jasper, and this…" He paused and lovingly ran his hand over my stomach. "is my own family, if that makes any sense. I never in my life thought I would be here, at this point with a beautiful woman as my wife… carrying my child, my son." His eyes drifted back to the photos on his desk briefly "I'd like a daughter too, I'd like for us to try for more." He looked hopeful.

"God, Edward, at least let me have this one first. I hope you mean later, like a year or two later."

He laughed. "Yes, later. I didn't mean right now, I just wanted you to know where my head is at."

"It's nice to know, and Edward, it makes perfect sense. You know, you and your own family. I totally get it. Can I ask you something though?"

"Anything" He sighed contentedly.

"Why did you not see yourself with any of this? It doesn't make sense to me, you grew up in a wonderful, loving family with strong family values and yet you completely disregarded that as far as your own personal life goes. I mean seeing how much happiness being together your family is, how had you ever thought that fucking random women and never committing was satisfying?"

He sighed heavily before responding. "I think about that often lately-"

"You think about fucking random woman… a lot lately?" I laughed, trying to lighten the mood, I wanted to hear his answer but I didn't want it to ruin the day for us.

"You know what I mean, I think about us and wonder how on earth I ever thought that that was enough. No one has ever meant anything to me until you, they were… nothing. Inconsequential… orgasms."

"Thank you" I smiled.

"For what, love?" He was still gently rubbing my belly as he asked.

"For letting me be a consequential orgasm." He smiled back at me.

"You couldn't be anything but. I need you, you complete me… I wasn't really living before you, just kind of getting by."

"Pfftt… Edward Cullen just getting by, yea ok. I'd say you were living every man's fantasy, an all american dream, even if it was a wet one, a disgusting wet one."

He laughed and I scowled. "Come on, love, we can't ignore our guests all day."

Dinner was wonderful, Esme really did do an excellent job. Emmett and Rose never left the other's side and I noticed that he had discreetly asked for a number that he could reach her at. I guess Claire was about to be a distant memory, or at least she better be. I would have to say something to Emmett later.

Rose and I finally had a little while to catch up as we tidied up the kitchen, I insisted and refused to back down. I had to be able to help with something. The evening ended fairly early and everyone filed out together and it surprise me to see Emmett leaning against Rose's car in the driveway as I closed the door after waving goodbye.

I was beat and I barely lifted a finger. Edward was once again right and it annoyed the shit out of me. Edward pulled me back against his bare chest as I climbed into bed, pulling my night dress up above my belly and started rubbing small circles around it. I felt his hot breath against my neck as his lips ghosted across my skin.

"You know I think you may have a small case of maiesiophilia." I told him while trying to hold in a laugh.

"Of what?"

"Um… you know like a fetish involving pregnant women." I said finally unable to contain my laughter.

"Get the fuck out, you don't seriously think that… do you? I just think it's amazing to watch as my child grows inside you. It's… fascinating and I'm jealous that you get to experience so much more of it." I knew I had shocked Edward as he rarely uses language as strong the 'F' word unless we're fucking or he's stressed.

"Yea, I'm sure you won't be quite so jealous once you witness the actual birth."

"We haven't talked about that, you want me there right? I don't have to be one of those father's that are a bystander in the waiting room do I?"

"Of course I want you there, I never even gave it any thought. It was a given to me that you would be there."

He smiled and placed a chaste kiss on my lips before we both drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: All characters belong to SM.**


	13. Ch 13 The Lessor of Two Evils

**Bella POV:**

The two weeks following Thanksgiving were pretty crazy, Christmas was less than a month away and the baby was due just after the holidays and I didn't feel right not having gifts for him. I know he'll just be a tiny little new born baby and won't even know the difference but still, he's my son.

We had talked about it and although Edward said it wasn't entirely necessary I could see it in his eyes that he was overjoyed at the thought of his son bearing his name, Edward Anthony Cullen. Neither of us liked Eddy for short, or even EJ, so Anthony it was, we would call him by his middle name to keep the confusion to a minimum.

Alice, Rose and I did quite a bit of holiday shopping and near the end of week two I was experiencing some pretty severe braxton hicks contractions. They had started out pretty light and gradually increased in intensity, so much so that Edward had even taken me to the hospital late one night.

They monitored me for a while, I wasn't dilated and my water hadn't broke so I was sent home and told to see my doctor if thing got worse. From time to time they did but would be done by the time I saw the doctor, I was told that it was a little strange for them to be as severe as I was claiming.

When they would occur it would actually be for anywhere from six to ten hours at a time and if I laid on my back they would shoot out my belly, if I laid on my side they would shoot out both my belly and my back. It was insane.

Alice had just confirmed that she too was pregnant, they had been trying since the week before the wedding so she was happy. They tried to act normal around me, like they were not hiding something but one thing I am not, is stupid. Plus it helped that neither one of them were any good at hiding their excitement, so I was pretty sure that Esme and whoever else were currently at my place setting up for a baby shower.

I was not wrong.

Rose had invited Angela, Heidi and Gina, the few people we actually considered friends. While Alice had invited her girlfriend Leah and Jaspers sister Marie. Esme invited her sister and two nieces as well as a couple of colleagues from her design firm. It wasn't a huge party but it was comfortable and fun.

We received lots of little gifts for our little guy like, a baby monitor, baby safety kits (to baby proof your home) a mobile for over the crib, some very soft and very expensive bedding for the crib, bottles, pacifiers, a breast pump, clothes, a bunch of onesies with cute little sayings such as, if you think I'm cute, you should see my dad, my daddy rocks, dependent yes but also deductible, party 3am feeding… in my crib B.Y.O.B, mama's boy and my mom is hot! Alice thinks she is hilarious.

There were also a few larger gifts like the stroller Alice bought that also included an infant car seat that detaches from it, an exer-saucer which will not needed for quite some time and the mahogany sleigh bed crib that we already knew Esme was getting. She fell in love with it when Edward and I were furnishing the nursery with matching pieces to it and begged to be allowed to purchase the crib for us. Edward can not say no to his mom, and it was no big deal anyway so we agreed.

Throughout the party Edwards family kept commenting on how much he had changed, how marriage and impending parenthood suited him. I had to agree, I didn't know him well obviously but it didn't take a rocket scientist to see the change from the man I married to the man he was today.

Esme was near tears when she took me aside thanking me and telling me that she had feared she would never see such things for her son.

"I just wanted to say thank you, Bella, you have made Edward the happiest I have ever seen him. When you married my son I did not just gain a daughter-in-law, I gained another daughter. In my heart that is what you are."

"Thank you, Esme, that means a lot to me. I am glad to have you all in my life too, but please there is no need to thank me."

"Of course there is" She began to cry "I never in my life thought I would see Edward so happy, he is in love with a beautiful wife, a baby and well grandbaby on the way. It used to make me sad that he never desired these things and then he found you, I knew the moment I met you, saw you two together, that you were it for one another. A mother knows." We were both in tears now and she hugged me.

"You know he was that way even as a young teenager, he was always so perceptive and it hurt him that so many people used him for his money, teenage girls raised to chase after money wanted to date him because we had it. It turned him… cold, not with us by all means but towards women. He would probably never admit it but it was a trust issue on his part, he didn't trust that they weren't after him for his money and so many have proven that to him over the years." I was mortified by her words and felt my legs go weak, I fought to hold myself up as Esme held tighter and kept apologising.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry honey. I didn't mean to upset you, oh this isn't good." She kept telling me how sorry she was, thinking that she had upset me and she had, but by no fault of her own. This was all entirely my fault. "Come sit down, Edward will be so angry if I can't calm you down."

"No, no I am fine, Esme, it's ok. I promise, I'll be fine." I wasn't fine but it was nowhere near her fault, I was terrified that my marriage was over. He will never forgive me, I was now certain of that. He went most of his life feeling like he was defined by his money, wanted for his money and not the beautiful, kind, loyal, giving, loving man that he truly is.

What had started out to be a quick fix, a chance to save my own life had turned into the best, worst decision I had ever made. I somehow fell in love with my husband, and him with me. This thought only caused me to laugh which the led to me crying even more and Esme clearly not understanding what was actually happening here just simply led me to the bedroom and had me lie down.

I could hear her speaking in hushed tones, she was on the phone asking Edward to come home. This was it, only weeks before Christmas, weeks before the birth of our first and now only child and I was going to have to tell him. I was going to break his heart, his trust and undue any positive effect this, us, had had on him.

I knew Edward was a player of sorts, a ladies' man and liked to stay unattached by moving from woman to woman, quickly. Never keeping the same company week after week, with Irina being the exception to a certain extent. It wasn't weekly or anything but he indulged in her a number of times. I just had no idea that the reasoning behind his lifestyle, the choice to be alone for a lifetime has everything to do with why I married him. Money.

He was going to hate me and I was going to ruin him. These were my final thoughts as I drifted off to sleep.

Edward POV:

The last couple of weeks have flown by. Thanksgiving had gone so much better than I had thought it would after Bella had first left me briefly, which very nearly killed me and then had been placed on bed rest.

Other than the small glitch in Cleveland everything has been great between us, and the pregnancy was running smoothly now. No more complications besides some false labour, we could just be us now, be happy.

I had called my mom shortly before Thanksgiving and she had cried during out brief conversation.

"Hello"

"Hello, mom, how are you?"

"I'm good, Edward, very good. It's so nice to hear your voice, sweetie."

"Thanks mom, you too. Listen, I actually called to ask you a favour"

"Certainly, what did you need?"

"I need for you get Grandmother's rin…" I didn't get to finish responding, she knew what was coming and why and I could hear the tears in her voice as she spoke.

"Oh my goodness, Of course, sweetie. I… I just, I'm so happy for you, Edward. You have no idea how much and there is no one more deserving of wearing your grandmother's ring. She would have loved Bella."

"I know mom, you do not have to tell me twice. To be honest I always had you hold on to it because I never believed that I would ever need it, grandmother was quite adamant in her demand that it stay in our family and only be given to the woman that I know in my heart that I will spend my life with… and she is it."

Mom sniffled some more and I knew she was actually silently crying on the other end of the phone. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, mom, I have a surprise though."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Bella agreed to renew our wedding vows, here, in front of our family and friends. That is what I want the ring for, I told her I would get her a new ring when I asked her but she didn't want that. It wasn't until a few days after that I remembered the ring grandmother left me, it's perfect for her."

"I'm so happy for you, I thought that I missed it and wouldn't get the chance to see my boy get married. I was ok with it because I fell in love with Bella too but I can't deny how happy I am that you're telling me this."

"Me too, mom, me too." I let her go after making sure that she would bring the ring with her when she came for dinner.

Now, less than a month from our child's birth and I was sitting here contemplating how I was going to present it to her and explain it's meaning. Bella's baby shower is today so I am sitting at my office, getting a few things done and I am both nervous and excited.

They were celebrating the soon to be birth of our son today, and I thought it the perfect day to also celebrate… us, our family. I am going to give her the ring tonight and ask her if we could set a tentative date for the spring or maybe summer depending on her preference.

I rushed home after receiving a call from my mother, she was concerned about Bella. The house was pretty much empty when I returned only my mom and Bella were there.

"How is she? Is everything ok?" The words came out in a rush because I was so worried after the call.

"She's sleeping, I asked everyone to leave once I got her to lie down."

"What happened?"

"I don't know, Edward, she was fine one minute and then I was thanking her for being in your life, giving us a grandbaby and I told her that she was like a daughter to me… and she just lost it."

"Mom, you know she lost her parents not long before we married and she's a little hormonal with the pregnancy and everything. It was probably just too much for her, she'll be fine I'm sure. It's ok, you can go, I'll take care of it." I knew that had to be what was wrong, my mother had mentioned how she truly was a part of our family and she had gotten emotional.

After seeing my mother out I made my way back to our bedroom and stood leaning against the doorframe watching as whom I was sure to be the love of my life slept peacefully. It wasn't until I climbed into the bed quietly and turned to my side watching her sleep that I noticed the frown lines between her brows and around her beautiful eyes, whatever was bothering her had her so upset that it even interrupted what was normally a very peaceful and pleasant time for her. Sleep.

I pulled my grandmother's ring from my pocket and carefully slipped it on the equivalent to her marital ring finger only on her right hand. I know how much that ring I first placed on her finger in Vegas, however inadequate I may find it to be, means to her.

I lied awake just staring at my wife as she sleeps, watching the even rise and fall of her breasts as she breathes, providing life to our son as she lives and breathes. Her eyes begin to flutter open, her lips part just a fraction and our eyes finally meet. She smiles.

That smile, it doesn't reach her eyes. I feel frozen, almost like I know that something is about to happen and it… is not something good.

"What's wrong, love?" I ask, finally finding my voice.

Her response is to burst into tears and mine is to hold her. The only sounds floating through the air are Bella's painful sobs and my soft murmurs as I try to soothe her.

"Sshhh… it's ok, baby. Everything will be ok, you just need to calm down."

"N-no. i-it won't be o-ok." She's not making much sense, because no matter what is wrong. We can fix it. Again she just has to have faith."

"Bella, please… remember what we talked about, love. Have faith in me, trust me and talk to me." I soothed her with my words, while my hands gently ran up and down her back. Softly caressing her.

"I n-need y-you to t-tell me about you, w-why did y-you commit to b-being alone b-before." She managed to choke out through her tears.

"I'm sorry, love? I don't understand what you need to hear."

"Why d-did y-you pull away f-from w-women, relationships? Y-You d-don't t-trust them do y-you?" I understood what she was asking me now and it made no sense because those days were over, she has shown me that I was wrong. Not all women were the same and I could truly love and be loved. For me.

"Bella, I learned at a young age that money was often the root of all evils. People that I thought were my friends, girls that were interested in me. There were times in the beginning when I couldn't tell whether they liked me or my money, too many times it was the latter. So I decided that I really didn't need any of it and it was easier to just do things the way I did, live my life the way I chose as opposed to always trying to figure people out. If I didn't let them in then I didn't need to figure them out… with you, it's different. We started out wrong I know but we still got here and I love you. I trust you, Bella, with my life. You are different and I know that."

"Please don't" She whispered and I didn't understand. Please don't what?

She gasped and I looked down at her to see that she had noticed my grandmother's ring on her finger. "Edward?… W-What is this?" I smiled at her.

"It belonged to my grandmother, she left it to me. For my wife, the woman that I know I want to share my life with, have children with and grow old with. That's you, love."

"Oh Edward" She cried. I held her knowing that our conversation needed to wait. She didn't cry too much longer and slowly drifted back off to sleep and I wasn't far behind in joining her.

Bella POV:

I had fallen asleep again and was slowly waking up, it was dark in the room. I couldn't see but I could feel Edward, his arm was gently resting over my arm while his hand rested slightly over my left breast. I could feel my heart beating against his palm.

I wondered what would be worse for him, telling him the truth and breaking his new found belief, in trust, in love, in this faith he keeps talking to me about. He was only half the man he could be, half the man he is when he spent all those years closed off to a world that included love. If I tell him and prove to him that he was right, that even the one woman he found to love only married him for his money… it would break him.

On the other hand if I just left, it would hurt him. Maybe even for a long time but at least he might still have faith, and maybe, just maybe find love again because Edward without love… just isn't Edward. I couldn't bare to see him broken.

A friend of mine once told me that a wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left. Well I was obviously too god damn foolish to follow most of it, I couldn't kiss him without loving him, I couldn't listen to his words and not believe in them, but as they say 'better late than never' and I have to leave him before he leaves me.

I watch him sleep for a few more minutes but I don't have the luxury of time because if he wakes I won't have the strength to leave. He is my first love and maybe even my only love because I can not even imagine feeling anywhere near what I do for Edward with someone else.

Silently and carefully I slide out from under his arm and make my way to the closet grabbing two outfits and a small bag. I can barely see through the tears that have begun to fall as I realise the ramifications of what I am doing. I am leaving him, hurting him but this hurt is the equivalent of the lesser of two evils.

**A/N: I will be posting the next chapter pretty quickly, I am just at fork in the road and need to decide between two ideas that I have so that I can finish the following chapter. I am torn as I am happy with both routes. **

**A/N: All characters belong to SM.**


	14. Ch 14 Broken

**Edward POV:**

Something was wrong. Before I even opened my eyes I knew, it had been forever or at least felt like forever since I had woken without my Bella by my side. My body jolted forward to an upright position and my eyes immediately scanned the room. It was still dark but everything appeared to be fine, all was in place. 'Of course it was, you're just being paranoid, Edward' I mumbled.

I took a moment to give my head a shake and actually wake up before climbing out of bed, this was like Cleveland all over again. I looked down over my wrinkled up dress shirt and pants and decided changing could wait, I needed to see where Bella had gotten off to, and what was wrong with her last night.

I was completely thrown by the fact that she wanted to know why I had never settled down before her. Didn't she know already? How could I have ever settled down before meeting her? I know in my heart that subconsciously I had been waiting for her, roaming aimlessly through life waiting for the moment that fate had intended for us to meet.

I was beginning to panic when I realised that she was no where to be found. I entered my office and was intending to call Alice when I stopped short, completely heart broken by what I saw in front of me. My Bella was sitting in my chair hunched over my desk and her body was heaving, she was silently sobbing into her arms.

I approached her quietly, she had yet to notice me in the room. She jumped as I placed a kiss on top of her head before I crouched down beside her, pulling her against my chest.

"Come on, baby, whatever it is can't be so bad. You're only upsetting yourself and the baby." I didn't want to sound like I was accusing her of anything but her pregnancy hadn't been without problems and she had to know that this, was not good for our son. "You have to stop, just talk to me, love, you'll feel better. I promise."

"I- oh god, I just couldn't do it, Edward, I couldn't write it. I tried so hard and I'm just so fucking selfish." She cried against my neck. "I tried to leave and then I couldn't not say goodbye… so I tried to write it and… and I-I just knew you would never buy it unless I told you I never loved you. Oh god, and I just couldn't do it, I couldn't say those words. I couldn't even fucking write those words, not about you."

She was confusing me, her words were a jumbled mess and rushed, plus she was crying and sniffling between words. I noticed a letter on my desk and it registered that she said she had tried to write it, I reached over and picked it glancing over the first couple of paragraphs.

_Edward,_

_I am so sorry for doing things this way but I have to leave, please know that I will be in touch very soon. I fully expect and want for you to be a part of our child's life, you are as much a part of him as he is of you and you will both be lost without the other. I need for you to know and accept that this has everything to do with my own stupidity and nothing whatsoever to do with you._

_You are the sweetest, kindest, caring and most loving man I have ever had the joy of knowing and I owe you so much for the gift of our son, that is a debt I will never be able to repay. _

I didn't read anymore, it was all a load of crap and I'll be damned if she thought she was walking out on me, on us… our family without an explanation. One that I did not have to read, she was not leaving me without speaking the fucking words. I crumpled up the letter and tossed it aside.

I pulled back away from her just enough to see her eyes, they were wide yet puffy, red rimmed and tired, it was obvious she had yet to sleep either. The second our eyes met she started to ramble again. "I'm selfish and horrible and you will never forgive me, you will hate me and I will hurt you." Her words didn't register, the only words registering were the ones to start that letter '_I am so sorry for doing things this way but I have to leave' _

"You don't get to leave this way, Bella, I would never fucking do this to you and I expect to be afforded the same god damn respect." My voice cracked and I was on the verge of tears, she was the love of my life, she was my wife, she was having my baby and she was leaving me?

"I'm not leaving, Edward, don't you understand what I am trying to tell you. I tried to leave, I tried to do the right thing, to let you go." Her tears were still falling but she was eerily calm and part of me was calmed by it because I knew she needed to relax for the baby, but another part of me was frightened by it.

"How could leaving me, abandoning me, be what is right, Bella? I can't be without you, It would kill me don't you know that by now?" I felt as my own tears fell, and I was only marginally ashamed to sit before my wife and cry, who am I kidding anyway I would beg her not to go if that is what it would take and it would not shame me one bit."

"Edward, I tried to leave before I broke you-"

"Broke me?" I cut her off. "What do you think waking in the morning to you gone and nothing but that fucking note to explain it would have done to me? I was nothing before you, nothing. I was a shell of a man who to everyone else looked to be successful and wanting for nothing, when in reality I was wanting for everything." I frantically ran my hand through my hair before letting myself fall to my knees and taking her angelic tear stained face in my hands "Don't do this, Bella, please don't do this, don't take my family away from me. I wouldn't make it without you, not anymore." I begged and dropped my head in her lap as a strangled sob escaped my lips.

I felt her hands in my hair as she attempted to soothe me. "Look at me, Edward." She commanded, her tone suddenly strong and full of authority.

" I. AM. NOT. GOING. ANYWHERE. At least not of my own free will. I have come to find that I am a selfish woman, I was being selfish when I married you and I am being selfish now. I don't want to lose you and I need you to know that I feel the same way about you, I love you, you are my life now and I too feel as though I wouldn't make it without you."

I was so fucking confused. Her letter said she was leaving yet the words she spoke were conflicting, they were specifically saying she was not leaving while also issuing a warning of sorts as though she were in fact leaving. The confusion must have been evident on my face as she went ahead and tried to make me understand.

"I'll be more clear, baby. I am not leaving you, but you on the other hand may ask me to leave and I will have no choice but to respect that. I will go if you ask me to, I promise."

"Never, you're insane if you ever think I will send you away. I can't, I won't."

"You might. What I have done to you, Edward, will hurt you. More than you know, you've lived your whole life to avoid the pain I am about to inflict on you." She groaned and rubbed both her hands up and down her face before letting them settle, rubbing tight circles around her temples.

"While you slept earlier I came to a conclusion, I wanted you to hold on to the faith you have found, I wanted you to be able to love someone again because you have so much love to give." I tried to interrupt her, to tell her that I had no faith and no love to give anyone but her, they existed solely for her but she waved me off and put a finger to my lips. "You are a different person now, the man I married doesn't exist anymore. I am so proud of the man you are today, so much so that it shames me to think of what I have done to you. I used to be proud of myself, of my accomplishments and now… I am just not."

"Bella, love, you could never do anything so wrong that I would abandon you or ask you to leave. We are a family, and families forgive. I have no idea what on earth you are trying to tell me but I promise you, there is nothing that would change the way I feel for you."

She leaned back against the chair and rubbed her belly for a moment, when she looked back to me her eyes were sad, scared, and untrusting. She didn't believe my words, my promises and was fully expecting me to turn on her.

"What about all those people, Edward, the ones you shut out, the ones who would only want you for your money. Is that forgivable to you, can you forgive someone for making you love them when they only wanted you for your money?" She asked and again we were back to my past.

"That was different, Bella, I don't understand why you keep going back to that. You are not them, you are my Bella, my love. Please just tell me what you think you have done that is so unforgivable. You are driving me crazy, why can you not see that you do not even have it in you to do something so heinous that I would hold it against you for life?"

"You have no idea what I am capable of, Edward. I may very well surprise you." She said, her voice sad. "I have a headache."

"Come on" I told her, taking her hand. I led her to the bedroom and sat her on the bed, I gathered a change of clothes for us both and we changed. Her into her warm flannel sleep set and me into sleep pants and a t-shirt.

"This is how we should settle every disagreement big or small that we are bound to have for years to come, comfy clothes, a warm bed, me holding you." I told her as I pulled the blankets over us and wrapped my arms around her, I had my back to the headboard and she sat between my legs with her back to my chest. "This room, our bedroom is a 'no war' zone. We bring our discussions in here with the understanding that this room holds no anger, no spite, no grudges, no harsh words, only love, faith, respect and forgiveness. Understood?" She nodded.

"I love you, Bella, nothing you say will change that. Now please put me out of my misery, tell me what was so horrible that you were willing to leave me, rather than tell me. So that I can prove you wrong." I whispered against her ear and she shivered as I softly kissed that sensitive spot right below it. I was silently thanking the Gods for having the opportunity to do so and that she had been unable to leave me.

"I know I told you this already but I need to be sure that hear me and that you know. I love you with all my heart, Edward, my love for you is true, it was never a part of the plan. You were not supposed to be so wonderful, I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you or you with me. It was supposed to be quick and painless, it was to save my own life which you have, in so many ways." She inhaled deeply and I still had no idea what she was trying to say.

"You have so much that I made myself believe that what was more than I had ever had in my life was nothing to you and just wouldn't matter, I didn't want to die or be made to… be with so many different men and I didn't have the means to hide."

"What?" I gasped, knowing that I had heard her correctly but not comprehending the meaning behind her words. She ignored me and as awkward and difficult as it must have been in her state, she got up on her knees and turned to face me placing her hands on my face. I automatically reached out gently taking a hold of her hips and watched as the tears that had dried up suddenly began to spill from her eyes again.

"I chose you, Edward, I was one of them." She said closing her eyes for a moment. "I was never that person before my parents… passed away but I was scared and you were the answer, my saviour but you need to know that Vegas… it wasn't an accident."

My eyes narrowed in thought, trying to understand what she was saying, her life, scared, her parents death, choosing me, not supposed to love me or me her, not a part of the plan, plan? I had so much while she had so little, she chose me, she was one of them? She didn't want to die, or be with so many other men, quick and painless, I've saved her, Vegas wasn't an accident… she chose me…

"But you didn't know me in Vegas, it was a fluke, we just met." She didn't respond, just nodded her head back and forth telling me 'no'

My eyes bulged out of my head as I thought back to how I thought she had agreed a little too quickly to my plan to stay married for six months and I dropped my head back against the headboard. This whole thing was just a fucking sham, her father owed more money than she could pay, they had obviously threatened to kill or make her work off the money… selling herself to a group of them. She chose me for my money.

I gently moved her from between my legs and stood from the bed, my mind was reeling. I was so fucking stupid, she had played me for a fool. I looked at the woman that has come to be my world, the woman I loved with my entire being, the woman that was carrying my child, I looked at her stomach and I felt disgust. She never mentioned him, was he a part of this fucking plan?

I felt cold, dead. I had promised her everything, promised her that there was nothing that could change this, change us. She had been so sure that I would ask her to leave, would I?

"What abo-ut him? Was he a part of the plan?" I gestured to her stomach and asked, my voice shamelessly cracking and this time I felt the shame in allowing her to make me feel this hurt.

"Of course not." She gasped, looking at me like this was information that I should just know.

"Well how am I supposed to know? You didn't mention him." I told her and pinched the bridge of my nose as I shook my head.

"Do you… should I go? I can go to my place, yes I'll go to my place. You can call me… if you want. Or I'll call you when he's here…" She trailed off as she stood and started to reach for her clothes.

"What are you doing? No, don't. I didn't ask you to leave. You could marry me, fuck me, share my bed with me for this long as part of some fucking scheme, you sure as hell can continue to do so until I can figure this shit out. YOU, are carrying my child and are due in a matter of weeks, you're not taking that from me too." 'Did I seriously just order her to continue a marital relationship with me?' I have no fucking clue where the hell that came from, or why I said it but I knew that I couldn't let her leave. I needed time to wrap my head around this but I meant what I said, we are a family and I just needed to clear my head, to think.

"Look, Bella, I didn't mean it like it sounded. I'm just… I don't know I just need to think but I want you to stay, or at least I don't want you to go. I don't know if that even makes any sense. Please, you're tired. You both need your sleep, just get in bed."

Amazingly enough, she did as I suggested and climbed into bed. If I had to guess I would say that it had more to do with her being exhausted than wanting to be agreeable with me. She lied awake for a while, shifting, tossing and turning not able to get comfortable, I had taken a seat in the chair next to my armoire with a perfect view of the bed… and Bella.

I had been sitting here contemplating what the hell I am supposed to do with all this new information. I was trying to reconcile the Bella that had somehow conned me into marrying her to the Bella I knew today. It was hard but the one thing that I knew for sure was that I believed that she does love me, that was not the problem. The problem was in deciding whether or not I could get passed this, if I could let this go and trust her now.

She pretty much knew everything there was to know about me, including that although I had buried it pretty fucking deep down, I had serious issues with being accepted, wanted and even loved for who I am and not how much money I have or what that money can do for you. I thought that I had managed to find the one woman that didn't give two shits about who I was, that somehow fate had brought us together. I decided that the only real option I had was to ask her to talk me through it, I needed to know how and why she had chosen me, I needed to know what she was thinking, what was going through that mind of hers.

She was right, I had changed significantly since we married. If this had been a year ago, if I had not opened up to her, allowed her into my heart, fallen in love with her we would not be in this room together after the news she had just shared with me. I most likely would have sent her away but instead I feel like a clingy bastard and I'm keeping her here because no matter how fucking confused and angry I am, I can't be away from her yet.

I was tired and had been fighting it long enough, part of me was afraid that I would wake up to find that she had really left this time. I felt like a pansy as I climbed into bed next to her, not because of the act itself but because I needed to do it, needed to be near her. She was lying with her back to me still trying to get settled herself and it had been close to an hour, without even thinking I did the same thing I always did when she was uncomfortable.

I moved closer and reached out draping my arm over her side and my hand came to rest on her belly, she tensed for a moment before her body finally settled and there was no more fidgetting. I didn't like that she had initially tensed up at my touch 'Had she been afraid of me?' I would never hurt her but I guess in reality there might have been many assholes out there who would, if they had found out that the woman they had fallen hard for had set them up to marry them for their money and had also managed to bind herself to him with a child.

Not that I think that part was intentional, I believe her where that fact is concerned as well. I started to rub her belly softly and automatically buried my head in her hair. "I need you to explain this all to me, everything, can you do that?" I spoke quietly but I could hear the hurt and betrayal in my voice, I couldn't mask it.

I felt her hand come down and rest over mine as she choked out a 'yes' I felt horrible that she was so upset, it was not my fault and I knew that but it didn't change anything. She started to tell me about her father's debt again and I realised that she thought I meant explain now.

"No, love, not now. Right now I just want to concentrate on the health of you and this little guy." I told her and gave the slightest little squeeze against her stomach as though I needed to emphasize what or who I meant by 'this little guy'. "I am… angry and disappointed, and so many other things right now but I meant what I said. I don't want you to go, not like this. I won't have you leave in anger."

I woke up late the following day, Bella was thankfully still in my arms. It was a start, she hadn't left me during the night as I had feared she would. I still felt… numb, but I was seeing things through a whole new mindset. I was rested and things were more… clear. It still felt like she had ripped my heart out and I knew the conversation we were going to need to have today had the possibly of tearing us a part.

The promises I made her were in the forefront of my mind 'Bella, love, you could never do anything so wrong that I would abandon you or ask you to leave. We are a family, and families forgive. I have no idea what on earth you are trying to tell me but I promise you, there is nothing that would change the way I feel for you' I told her I loved her and nothing could change that and I meant it, I do love her what I was unsure of was what that love was based on… a lie. Our whole fucking marriage was a lie and what about her feelings, I believe that she loves me but did she love me for me or my assets?

**A/N: All characters belong to SM.**


	15. Ch 15 Understanding

**A/N: Just wanted to say that I'm happy to be back writing and sorry that it's been so long but 'real life' got in the way in a pretty big way. **

**Bella POV:**

I was about two minutes away from telling Edward everything about how he came to marry me, I was going to be completely honest with one exception… Rosalie. I couldn't take the risk of her losing her job, her sole means of support for helping to save my life.

I know it's wrong because I am still leaving something out when I promised to be truthful with him but I made a decision to protect Rose and I will, the fact that she came up with it has no real bearing on us. I was the one that married him for his money not her. I did this to him.

We both decided on showers and breakfast before attempting to have the much anticipated, or not, conversation that needed to be had. My stomach was a little upset so I settled on toast, it was just nerves and once we got started I was certain that I'd feel fine.

"Coffee, tea or juice?" I offered when Edward entered the kitchen. He looked hot. I loved when he walked around like an average Joe, a pair of athletic shorts, no shirt, barefoot and the best part… a few tiny drops of water that left his chiselled chest glistening. "mmm"

An average Joe he would never be but nonetheless, it turned me on. Then again, what didn't turn me during this pregnancy induced mess of hormones that left me wanting to fuck like I'm some kind of nympho or something.

"Coffee please, I'll probably have some juice with breakfast." He was quiet when he responded but at least we were talking still… for now anyway.

As sexy as he appeared with my initial assessment he looked like shit when I truly looked at him. He obviously hadn't slept well. His eyes were a little red and puffy with light circles below them, I hated that I had done this to him.

I never in a million years would have believed a year ago that a man like The Edward Cullen could ever fall for or even be slightly interested in the likes of me, and here I stand, married to him, carrying his child and I have somehow 'broken' him. It should be the other way around, he's the player, womanizer, the man who never gets 'involved' and he let ME in.

He has protected me, cared for me, even provided for me which admittedly annoyed the hell out of me. He has provided me with a child and has… loved me. Only to come to find out that I had used him, in fairness he used me too but I was the one to set this whole mess up.

I must have been off in my own world for quite some time because before I knew it, Edward had somehow prepared, eaten and was now rinsing his dishes and loading the dish washer. He cleared his throat and I knew he was waiting on me, I guess he has decided that the 'no war' zone bedroom was not the place for this conversation.

"I don't really know where to start, Edward."

"The beginning is always good, I'd like for you to start there, I need for you to make me understand." His voice cracked slightly making me feel like an even bigger treacherous bitch.

"Well some of it you're already aware of, like John Difronzo." I whispered the name as though it were a secret we shared. "My father, as you know, had issues with gambling and drinking and owed him a lot of money when… when my parents passed."

He nodded as he had already known this part and patiently waited for me to pull myself together, I wasn't necessarily crying but a few tears had fallen at the mention of my parents passing. It was something I had rarely let myself give much thought to since I had buried them.

"It wasn't too long after they… were gone that a few men showed up at my house looking for money. It was made clear to me that I was expected to incur my father's debt and I was given three choices as to how it could be handled." I inhaled deeply willing myself not to break down, I needed to get through this.

"One: I could come up with the 1.5 million he is owed or Two: He would make me work to cover the funds owed and it was made clear in no uncertain terms that this work would involve being rented out to his associates. I completely understood. _Prostitution_ is what he had in mind. He was going to sell me or my services and it was also made clear that not all his associates knew how to treat a lady. Number Three: Was that I could feel free to refuse him and I would 'disappear' again I understood the picture being painted. If I refused him, I would die." Edward gaped at me for a moment, I think he may have had an idea as to what had gone on when he initially paid the debt for me but it was still a shock.

"I, god I am sorry that you went through that, Bella. I can't believe that he seriously threatened you with those things."

"I know, it was shocking to me but don't you see? That is why I had to do what I did, I wanted to live, Edward, and living meant doing something completely horrible. Something I never would have done if my life had not depended on it. I know that this will sound terrible but you were kind of the perfect person to… _**use**_." I swallowed loudly having to use that word but it was the truth at the time. I had used him.

I looked up and found that Edward had closed his eyes, obviously not liking the term I had used either.

"You used women, Edward, a lot of women. You never settled down, never really dated, never really gave a shit about your conquests. None of that was any of my business, I know that but it made what I was about to do… acceptable to me. Knowing that women were practically pieces of meat to you, that you fucked them than tossed them aside. I knew you were a player and had no interest in having a wife, a family." My hand automatically went to my stomach as I said these words.

Edward simply nodded but was looking somewhat pale as his eyes also went to my belly. "Yes, you certainly made me see things differently. You made me want to be a better man for you, when I'm with you it's like I'm better than me. I thought you deserved someone better than me from the beginning, Bella, and now I just don't know what to think. Although I can at least understand where you were coming from. I think?" He stated, although it sounded more like a question than a statement.

"I know, baby, I can't expect you to just forgive me and that's all I need, Edward, is for you to understand why I did what I did anything else will just be the icing on the cake I… I do want you to know that I hadn't counted on any of this, I thought you would throw some money my way to get rid of the wife you never wanted and to keep me quiet about the details. I thought we'd get a quickie divorce and I'd have enough to pay off my father's debt and we would both move on."

I tried to smile warmly at him but it was forced and we both knew it, he wasn't freaking out and that was a good thing but still it was hard to see where things would go from here.

"I never expected to love you, I never knew that I could love someone so much. I tried to leave you so that I wouldn't have to tell you, I was afraid that you would lose faith in love if you knew the truth. I didn't want that for you, I wanted to know that you could be happy… could love, even if it wasn't with me and you do not have to be better than you are for me or anyone else. You are perfect just as you are, Edward."

Our conversation went on from there, he asked a few questions. Not many really since all he really wanted was an explanation from me on why, he seemed to be accepting what I had to offer for now. He never said that we were ok now or that everything would be fine later, he simply said "ok" thanked me and offered a small smile while excusing himself as he left the kitchen.

"I don't know what to do, Edward." I told him after he had spent an hour or so in his office and I had sat quietly at the kitchen table, never having moved after our talk.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Should I go?"

"No, I told you last night that I don't want you to go, I would leave before sending you away. You are going to be having our child in a few weeks time, this is your home, his too." He stated and leaned forward placing a hand on my belly.

"Are you leaving?" I breathed, and was unsure that he had even heard me. My stomach clenched when he mentioned leaving and I felt ill, I knew this might happen but christ, I was not prepared for it.

"Do you want me to? I mean I can if you want." He offered.

"God no, I…" I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Then no. I don't want to go either."

"What does this mean… for us?"

He sighed and ran his hand over his face. "I honestly don't know, Bella, I can't promise anything right now. I just… I don't want you to go nor do I want to leave, this is our home. I don't know what will happen from here but I do know that you were right about me, before you, I was an ass that treated women as my own personal play things. It was wrong, who knows maybe this was karma's way of kicking my ass." He said shaking his head. "Can we just… BE for now, see what happens?"

I nodded and went to lie down for a while, I was exhausted. Our brief conversation had worn me out and I suspect him as well. He didn't join me in bed but was fast asleep on the couch when I woke hours later.

I was left with no idea as to where things were going from here but I felt hopeful that maybe we could move passed this eventually. I had hurt him, it was there in his eyes while we talked but I knew that he was being truthful when he said that he could understand where I was coming from.

It was an extremely quiet day for the most part, I was making dinner when Edward entered the kitchen.

"Let me help you with that." He said, taking the knife from my hands and he slowly started to slice into the homemade bread, lightly coating the slices with a garlic spread and covering them with the brushetta mixture and some parmesan.

"Thank you, the Lasagna is just about ready and I made an apple pie while you slept."

"I know, it smells delicious." He said and turned to me, his panty dropping, crooked smile was displayed on his face and I somehow knew that we were going to be ok.

Dinner was awkward, we had both tried to make small talk with one another but in the end mostly ate in silence. Later in the evening I settled into a warm bath and was beginning to feel a little tightening in my abdomen.

I settled into bed and briefly wondered where Edward had gotten off to, my curiosity had gotten the better of me and I made my way through the house. His office and music room were empty as well as the rest of the house… he was gone.

Had he left me? After all his words… his promises, had he just opted to walk out? I hadn't been concerned at first but the previous tightening all too quickly was turning more into pains… strong pains. I was beginning to feel anxious and found myself strangely trying to clean up the mess I had left in the bathroom.

As I walked from the bathroom into the bedroom I felt something trickle down my leg and looked to find clear sort of liquid "oh god" I groaned, knowing that this was it. I was about to have a baby and Edward was gone. I tried his cell, only to hear it beeping from the other room and quickly called Rosalie.

"Hello" I heard a whispered greeting, she had obviously been sleeping.

"I'm so sorry Rose, but I think my water just broke…" I trailed off as I gritted my teeth through yet another pain.

"Where's Edward?"

"I don't know, he was here before my bath but when I finished up he was…ungh…god he wasn't here and he left his phone, I can't reach him."

"Ok, I'll be right there, just hold tight sweetie." She was trying to keep me calm, I could hear it in her voice.

Rosalie was true to her word and within 25 minutes I found myself being checked into the hospital. I felt so much better having the nursing staff around me and not at home… alone. I was fully dilated and ready to give birth to our son and only needed one thing… Edward.

An hour an half passed and still there was no baby and no sign of my husband or baby daddy as Rose had taken to calling him. Rose had left messages on our home phone as well as with Emmett and still nothing.

"He'll be so angry with himself if he misses this Ros… Jesus" I cried out as I tried to soothe my aching belly. "How can they say that I was ready when I got here and yet he's still inside me?" I was ranting, I know but I was in too much pain.

"He'll be here, he has to be Bella. I'll go try calling again." Rose left the room and I reached for my ice chips again.

"You're waiting for your daddy, aren't you?" I whispered while gently caressing my belly.

Another hour passed while Rose helped me through my breathing and labour pains, my doctor was not available so not only was Edward not here but I also had a strange man between my legs. He was nice enough but it wasn't the same.

"Ok, Mrs Cullen. Just give us one more big push, I can see his little head. We're very close." The strange man between my legs was telling me as I heard a commotion coming from outside the delivery room.

"I don't care who's in there, I'm going to be with my wife and son when he's born." Edward's tone was harsh and I knew they were attempting to stop him from coming in because Rose was in here with me.

I smiled through the pain as I pushed again because Edward was here. He was at my side instantly "I'm sorry baby, I went for a drive and didn't even think about my phone. I was just taking some time to think, I should have called or left a message but I wasn't expecting this. I'm so sorry." He whispered as he ran his hand through my hair, I loved his touch but at the same time was aggravated by it as another pain shot through me.

Everything was as perfect as it could possibly be for the time being, our beautiful baby boy was here, Edward was here, we were a family. Nothing else mattered in this moment, we would deal with the rest of it…later.

I couldn't recall much after hearing my son's first cry and must have nodded off for a while, when I woke the room was in darkness. Edward had our son in his arms and was casually walking back and forth across the foot of my bed, I felt weak and could barely get out the little squeak that managed to cross my lips when I tried to speak.

"Ed-ward" I breathed and his head immediately spun to face me. His eyes held a myriad of emotions, he seemed worried, sad yet happy, tired…he looked really tired and his clothes were far more rumpled than they should have been after a couple of hours but mostly I saw what I believed was love and definitely relief.

"Hey baby" He whispered over the baby's head "God, I'm so happy to see your beautiful eyes open… let me get the doctor." He placed a quick kiss on my forehead then rushed from the room and came back with another doctor that I did not recognize.

"Good evening, Mrs Cullen. How are you feeling?"

"I'm um…good I think but I do feel quite weak, maybe a little dizzy."

"That's completely normal, you lost a lot of blood and had us quite concerned for a while. Your husband has had to put your son on formula since you're body has been resting itself for the last couple of days."

"Couple of days?" I blurted while glancing quickly from the doctor to Edward and our son.

"Yes, I assure you that you're both in good health at the moment but as I said you had lost a fair amount of blood. We were just waiting for you to wake up to judge how you were feeling physically, plus we'll run a few more tests once you feel a little better." He told me before leaving us alone again.

I couldn't believe that I had been out for two days and Edward… he must have been here the entire time. He was wearing the same clothes and they looked even worse as I looked at him this time around. He offered me a small smile when our eyes met before he crossed the room to me and gently squeezed my hand after adjusting the baby.

"Did you want to hold our little guy, do you think you have the strength?" He asked softly.

"I-I think so" I stuttered still a little shocked by the events of the last couple of days. "but stay close please I'm… not sure."

"I'm not going anywhere, baby, I'm here as long as you need me to be… you have my word on that."

He laid our son in my arms and for the first time I saw his little face… he was beautiful.

"I wanted you before you were born. I knew I loved you the instant you were born, I saw your face and I knew that I was in love, before you were seconds old, I knew I would die for you." I whispered, knowing that I meant every word and that if I hadn't made it through his birth, as long as he had that it would have been worth it. He was my little miracle in life…

**A/N: All characters belong to SM **


	16. Ch 16 Just a boy

_**A/N: Yes, I am back…hopefully more permanently and can only offer my apologies yet again for taking as long as I have **__**J**_

_Edward POV:_

In my haste to do some _thinking_, I had been entirely selfish and never thought to let Bella know where or what I was doing and left my cell behind. I'd very nearly missed the birth of my son as well as the complete and utter fear that I was watching as Bella, my wife was dying right in front of my eyes.

I had never felt such fear…ever. When the machines attached to her had started beeping erratically the doctor hurriedly removed the baby and the nurse quickly took our son away… that is when I saw it… there was so much blood, too much.

"Mr. Cullen, maybe you should see to your son." The doctor suggested but I could tell by his tone that it was not really a suggestion so much as an order. He wanted me out of the room and away from Bella.

"I think I'd rather stay." I hissed, knowing that it was uncalled for but what did he expect… that I would just leaver her?

"I don't have time for this, don't make me call for security." His tone was much more forceful while a much older sweet nurse approached me.

"Come with me, Mr. Cullen." She soothed "We need to give the doctor some space to do his job, the best he can and your son is waiting for you in the next room."

I let her lead me away but not before squeezing Bella's hand telling her how much I, no, we love her and need her. She had closed her eyes for what should have only been a moment but they never re-opened and she had gotten so pale, she was almost grey. I knew that the friendly nurse was right, I needed to give him the space he needed to keep Bella here with us.

I couldn't lose her, not now, not after everything.

Our son was beautiful, I would never have guessed that something I had viewed as 'my property, my possession' only a matter of hours before could hold so much control over me. I never would have known that the moment I laid eyes on my son that I would instantly hold so much love for him… he owned me not the other way around.

I silently made him the promise that if it were only him and me left here… alone, without her. I would devote everything to him, my time, my energy, my life, my love, everything he could possibly ever need or want for would be his.

I wouldn't disappoint him, Bella or myself by _not_ being the best possible father he could have ever have hoped for. I sat in a nearby rocking chair and held my son to my chest, although he was wrapped in a small blanket and had a little blue cap on his head I could still see the wisps of bronze locks around the edge of the cap.

'Cursed with my hair' I mumbled but couldn't help but smile at the thought, Bella would be happy about this. She wished for a son that looked like me though I don't know why, she has no idea of the hell he'll go through. His early teens as a tall gangly scrawny boy with impossible hair… she doesn't know the half of it, I was 16, 17 years old before I grew into myself.

I had to chuckle at the thought, she'd probably wonder what went wrong when she see's the awkward boy I once was in our son if he truly follows in my footsteps. And she will see it, I refuse to believe that we'll never see her again, that our son will never know what it is to be held, cradled in his mother's arms.

He cried out and I tensed for a moment unsure what to do. I laughed nervously as the nurse handed me a bottle with 2 oz of formula which he guzzled back quickly, it was strange to see how everything just sort of comes to you. Sure I was awkward but I managed to feed, burp and even change my son within the first hour of his life, he drank two more ounces surprising the nurse with his large appetite only spitting up the smallest amount of what he took in.

It seemed to go right through him though and what I saw in that diaper was… well it was disgusting. "Jesus" I groaned and heard a laugh from behind me.

"I'm sorry but I didn't catch your name?" I said to the sweet older nurse who had been helping me with my son.

"Oh just call me Ruby, Mr. Cullen. You have a handsome little man here and my does he ever have a head of hair or what!" She exclaimed excitedly, as though seeing babies born wasn't something she saw everyday.

"Please call me Edward and yes he is handsome isn't he?"

"That he is, you're doing a great job by the way."

"Thank you but could you tell me how my wife is, when can I see her?"

"She's stable, I was just coming to let you know. She hasn't gained consciousness but she's resting comfortably and I'm told she'll be just fine." I released a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding as I heard that Bella was ok.

After having the doctor fill me in on what seemed to go wrong and that although she'd lost a lot of blood, she was going to be fine. I brought our son in to see her and was glad that he would never remember seeing her so… frail and sickly looking.

I would never want him to have his first memory of his mom to be this, for him to think that somehow he had almost been the cause of us losing her. I was left feeling saddened and yet surprised all at once as I gazed at her lying still, I briefly thought that maybe we wouldn't be able to have a little Bella running around playing with her big brother.

"What are you thinking about?" I near jumped out of my skin as Alice's voice floated through the room "You looked… like you weren't here."

I looked between her and Jasper and new that what they have is real, I'd never really cared enough about the people around me to notice something like that. I love and care for my family yes but I just didn't pay much attention to their relationships. _I want what they have…_

Hell I have what they have, that was one of the decisions I had made before even learning that Bella was here having our child.

The two days following the birth of our son were the hardest I had ever endeared, I couldn't understand why if she was supposed to be fine then why wasn't she waking up. In the evenings I would lay the baby at her side and watched while he settled so easily, as though he knew that his mother were next to him. I fed, burped, changed and even bathed our son. I walked him around the same room, her room for hours as he slept and I slept a couple of hours here and there in a chair at her bedside, basically… I waited.

Today he wasn't settling so well, he seemed restless and didn't want to sleep for me. I paced back and forth humming a tune he seemed to like and that's when I heard it…

"Ed-ward" Her voice was hoarse and barely audible but she had called my name and my head immediately whipped around to face her. I was tired and the concern I held for her not waking up was really doing a number on me but in this moment I was just so damn relieved and happy that she was here… awake.

"Hey baby" I whispered over the baby's head "God, I'm so happy to see your beautiful eyes open… let me get the doctor." I quickly placed a kiss on Bella's forehead then rushed from the room to find the doctor.

"I need a doctor in here." I blurted to the first nurse that walked past me in the hall "My wife, she's awake."

I looked over my shoulder to see that the doctor who had explained everything to me was headed my way and I followed him into Bella's room.

_**Two Days Later:**_

Aside from still feeling and appearing extremely tired, Bella was unexpectedly cheerful and enthusiastic. Very much looking forward to being able to bring our son home, for us to be what we are…a true family.

She had finally convinced me late into the evening the day she had woken to return home briefly for a much needed shower and change of clothes.

I now stood at the foot of her hospital bed gazing at my wife, the woman who had planned to leave me so as not to tell me the truth of how our marriage came to be. All so I could _love_ again? Did she seriously think that there could ever be another _HER,_ another Bella anywhere on the face of the earth? I watched as she slept peacefully knowing that if something had happened to her, had she not made it…for the first time in my life I have no idea what would have become of me…she was my life now.

They were my life….

And to think I had spent so much time seeing this…our marriage, the pregnancy, our son all as unwanted complications in my life… and yet here I stand before my wife as though I am just a boy standing in front of a girl… no complications, no dilemmas… just 2 kids no worries…

**A/N: All characters belong to SM**

**Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! ~ ETN**


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